


Yin and Yang

by EvilLittleImp



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anti-Herocrites, Battle, F/M, Fluff, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, RedCricket, Torture, goldenswan - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-11
Updated: 2020-10-04
Packaged: 2021-03-06 12:54:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 17
Words: 52,853
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25849876
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EvilLittleImp/pseuds/EvilLittleImp
Summary: Alternate Universe where Rumplestiltskin has a broken heart and a shattered soul. After Belle leaves, can Emma pick up the pieces? And is Zelena really defeated?'He knew he didn't have the courage. He watched her walk away. Her boots were carrying her to the door. Ten seconds left and she was gone. It was now or never. She was reaching for the door. He was going to do it! No! What was he thinking, she would never say yes. He could just prepare himself for rejection. Or. . .'Warnings for Post-Tramatic Stress Disorder, torture, major Anti-Herocrites, and a very GoldenSwan oriented plot. :}{TEMPORARY HIATUS}
Relationships: Jiminy Cricket | Archie Hopper/Red Riding Hood | Ruby, Prince Charming | David Nolan/Snow White | Mary Margaret Blanchard, Rumplestiltskin | Mr. Gold/Emma Swan
Comments: 29
Kudos: 38





	1. It's a Date

**Author's Note:**

> This fanfiction contains PTSD and might be triggering for people who have it. It gets a bit dark at certain times. There are silver linings though! Just mind what you read. Thank you!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Yes, my dear Sheriff, I dare say I could pull it off."
> 
> "What's the price?"

Chapter 1

He knew he didn’t have the courage. He watched her walking away. Her boots were carrying her to the door. Ten seconds left and she was gone. It was now or never. She was reaching for the door. He was going to do it! No! What was he thinking, she would never say yes. He could just prepare himself for rejection. Or...  
“Emma,” he called out before he lost his nerve.  
“What is it, Gold?” Emma asked in an exasperated tone.  
“There was something else you wanted to ask me,” he stated, hoping he was right.  
He was so hoping he was right. If he was going to do this, he didn’t want to seem desperate. Gold watched as she slowly turned around with surprise written all over that pretty face of hers. He was clearly right, even though he was grasping for straws.  
“Um, yes, there was. I’m not sure even you could pull it off, though,” Emma stated.  
“Come now, dearie. I have magic and a fairly quick mind, what bothers you?” he asked eagerly.  
“Um, we need a proper cell to hold a. . . powerful prisoner, but we’re not sure what would work,” the sheriff informed him, clearly being careful with her words.  
“I take it ‘we’ includes you, Snow, Charming, and Regina. In which case I’m sure I could come up with something,” he reasoned.  
“Why does the 'we' matter?” Emma asked.  
“Mmm, wouldn’t you like to know?” Gold smirked, though he was sure she could figure it out.  
“Can you do it?” she pressed further.  
“Yes, my dear Sheriff, I dare say I could pull it off,” he repeated her earlier words.  
“What’s the price?” Emma inquired. Smart girl.  
“Hmm,” he pretended to think, “Say, your company?”  
“Excuse me?” Emma asked incredulously.  
“Granny’s at seven. That’s when the evening crowd dwindles,” Gold reasoned.  
“Your price for building a cell is one date. . . with me?” Emma clarified.  
“If you wish to call it that, then yes,” he responded.  
In his head, though, he was screaming, ‘Yes, Emma, yes! A date is all I want. A date with you, you perfect Swan. Please, please, please say yes!’  
“Very well, deal,” Emma agreed.  
Gold swore he nearly jumped up and down, and was sure he was grinning like the Cheshire cat. He felt like he could explode with happiness.  
“Lovely. Where shall I build?” Gold asked.  
“Um, the basement of Regina’s mansion,” Emma decided.  
Gold looked puzzled, then it dawned on him. Powerful magician, hesitation with words, Regina’s basement. He was making a cell for Zelena, the Wicked Witch of the West. No one knew what she did to him, how she hurt him. He was hiding it well, or as well as he could. He had only been freed about a month ago. The following weekend had been Valentine’s Day, which was one of the worst days of his life. He hadn’t been able to keep his food down a single day for the whole month. Sometimes the vomiting was voluntary, usually it was involuntary, but either way he just couldn’t. Zelena had force fed him every day after Baelfire died. Even the smell of food could make him vomit, if he had anything in his stomach. The only thing he could keep down was tea, and even that was rare. He was so hungry, but he just couldn’t stop thinking of Zelena’s wicked smile as she shoved that disgusting mush she called food down his throat. The nightmares she gave him were horrid. He usually didn’t sleep, considering his curse, but his body needed a substitute for food, so his curse demanded it of him. He found that out rather quickly. He needed food, water, and sleep. He could easily live without one, but he had to have two as constants. So, when the food option went out the window, he had to start sleeping. He would wake up screaming in the middle of the night, sweating profusely. The nightmares always made him feel as though he was. . . back there. He would never tell anyone that he read up on it and realized he had Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. The side effects were being temperamental and having suicidal thoughts. He was trying his best to keep a level head, but the second problem was somewhat troubling. He had moments, not often, but still occasionally. He would feel suddenly depressed and take a long, hard look at the box he kept his dagger in. The secrets he wanted to keep the most though, were the wounds Zelena inflicted on him with the dagger, which meant they couldn’t be healed with magic, and the ghost he saw. Sometimes, Zelena would visit him. He knew it wasn’t her, but it looked like her, it moved like her, and it even sounded like her. Even locks clicking bothered him now. He found it extremely embarrassing that he couldn’t even sleep with the lights off. He was the Dark One for heaven’s sake!  
“Gold? Are you okay?” Emma asked warily when she saw his features harden and his eyes go hollow, like he was far away, in a memory perhaps?  
The moment her words reached his ears, he relaxed and returned his attention to her, “Yes? Um, Regina’s basement. It shall be done.”  
Emma gave him one last glance before striding out the door. She couldn’t help the butterflies in her stomach at the thought of a date with Rumplestiltskin.  
Gold came back to reality and smiled like a fool to himself. ‘I have a date with Emma Swan!’


	2. Fake Laughs, Real Smiles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Maybe we could do this again sometime."
> 
> "Careful, or I'll think you want to keep my company."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mind the beginning notes from the last chapter please. They will apply throughout the whole story. Enjoy!

Chapter 2

As seven rapidly approached, Gold began to panic. What should he wear? He had already modeled several suits in front of his floor length mirror. As Rumplestiltskin, he still didn’t trust mirrors. What would Emma wear? Maybe if he knew, picking out a tie wouldn’t be so hard. He was standing in his walk-in closet in nothing but his boxers. His half healed scars were very visible in the mirror, but he tried his best to ignore them. He had been standing there for thirty minutes after blow-drying his hair until it was feather soft. He finally decided to go with a deep gray suit and crimson button-down. Gold considered going without a tie and just unbuttoning some of his shirt, but he didn’t want to scare her off. So, instead, he went with a lighter shade of gray for his tie, and of course, gold cufflinks. He twirled once more in front of the mirror and decided it was all fine. He would meet the beautiful Swan at Granny’s in ten minutes.  
Emma was extremely jumpy and nervous, though she would never admit it. She had always thought Mr. Gold was uniquely handsome in his fine attire and well groomed hair. They were always teasing and throwing sarcasm at each other, but she wasn’t sure they would ever be on a date together. His silver tongue was truly impressive, and he knew it too. Sometimes she wanted nothing more than to slap that stupid smirk off his face. He really could be a grade-A jerk when he wanted to be, and one day she might just punch him. That, however, didn’t change the fact she had a date with him. She had told her friends and family Gold agreed to make the cell, but not about the price. She wasn’t sure what to wear. A dress? Her usual jeans? He would no doubt be in a suit, but what would he expect of her? She ended up wearing skinny jeans, her scuffed boots, and a white tank top with her red leather jacket. She didn’t want their table to draw attention, but she didn’t want to be dismissive either. She wanted to look like she tried. Emma looked over and realized it was ten minutes to seven. She was about to go on a date with Rumplestiltskin.  
Gold saw her walking down the sidewalk before she saw him. He smiled appreciatively at her clothes. Not too fancy, slightly nicer than her every day attire, but completely Emma. He patiently waited as she located him and then walked over.  
“Evening Gold, or Rumplestiltskin. Which do you prefer?” Emma asked nervously.  
“You can call me Gold or Rumple or Rum. Whatever sounds best to you,” Gold replied calmly.  
“Hmm. Rum,” Emma said, tasting the name on her tongue, “I like it.”  
Rumple guided her away from the restaurant while she looked at him uneasily. He gave her his trademark smirk and kept walking. They walked for a short time in silence until they reached the Toll Bridge.  
“A dinner at the Toll Bridge? You really wanted privacy, huh?” Emma questioned.  
“This was for your benefit. I figured you wouldn’t want to be seen,” Rumple clarified.  
“Well, it smells wonderful, and I’m really hungry,” she said.  
They sat down as Rumple laid out the food and poured two glasses of wine. Rumple was putting forth a valiant effort to not vomit and Emma didn’t even know it. He would probably have it all come back up as soon as he was alone, but he would put on a strong face for Emma. They ate in silence for a few minutes until Emma decided to ask the question that had been bugging her since they made their deal.  
“What about Belle?” Emma asked.  
She was sure Rumple would propose to his beauty soon after his release from captivity. So why did he ask her on a date?  
“What about Belle?” Rumple shot back bitterly, though not towards her.  
“You’re on a date with me. She must be at home. What’s going on with you two?” Emma pressed.  
“We aren’t together,” Rumple answered shortly.  
Emma raised an eyebrow in question but decided to leave it. She pursued a different subject instead.  
“How have you been settling in this past month?” she asked cautiously.  
So much pain reflected in his eyes at the question. Emma was confused for a moment. That second seemed to last forever with so many emotions flashing right before her. She saw past his facade, his mask. He had walls similar to hers, tough walls designed to keep people and pain out. She saw a broken man who had gone through too much pain, who had suffered far too many tragedies with nothing but a broken heart and shattered soul to show for it. Something had happened between him and Belle, of that she was sure. Something painful that must have almost sent him over the edge. If they weren’t together, she couldn’t imagine how much he must suffer daily. He had mourned Belle for many years, then gotten her back, and then crawled after her wherever she led him. He was like a puppy dog, always trying to please her and stay out of trouble. Belle treated him like a project, and she was sure he often felt like one.  
“You know, you’re the first person to ask me that,” Rumple said, his voice breaking for a moment.  
She almost started crying when she saw how hurt and lonely he looked. Then, in the course of a second, he regained his composure from the fragile state he had been in to his calm and collected mask.  
“I’m settled quite nicely,” Rumple replied.  
“No. No you’re not. You forget, I can spot lies easily,” Emma countered.  
“It’s been much harder alone. Without Belle, without Bae, who do I have left? What’s the point?” Rumple asked sullenly.  
“What about your grandson?” Emma encouraged.  
“Henry?” he snorted, “As far as Henry’s concerned, I’m worse than Regina was.”  
“I’m sure that’s not true,” she comforted, feeling sudden compassion towards the sorcerer.  
“Oh really? Has he ever expressed interest in getting to know me?” Rumple pressed, not sounding too hopeful.  
“Well, no. But we’ve never talked about it before,” Emma supplied.  
“I’m alone, dearie, that’s something I came to terms with long before now,” he said.  
“Okay, Mr. Doom-and-Gloom, if I’m going to finish this date with you, you’re going to be positive,” Emma decided with resolve.  
“Very well. I’m sorry, and I’ll try to be more positive,” Rumple agreed.  
After that, it seemed easy banter flowed freely. They talked about happy memories with their sons, shared stories about Bae and Henry, and vented about Regina.  
“I mean, what is so hard about being polite? Why can’t she just let it go?” Emma complained.  
“Let it go? You're talking about someone who spent decades seeking revenge on a ten year old who told her mommy a secret,” Rumple mocked.  
They both doubled over laughing and crying aloud. Then Rumple felt it. He knew he would only be able to hold his food in for so long. After Zelena had force fed him, his gag reflex started acting up every time something passed his lips. The first few days of freedom had been the most challenging when he had even gagged on his toothbrush; but over time he had gotten better. He still couldn’t eat, but he could drink alcohol and tea, and he could brush his teeth.  
“Excuse me for a moment, Emma,” Rumple requested as he got up.  
“Where are you going, we’re in the woods?” Emma reminded him.  
“Yes, but I must grab dessert,” Rumple said, hoping she wouldn’t question him further.  
When she gave him an understanding, but somewhat reluctant, nod, he went deeper into the forest, hopefully where she couldn’t hear him. He vomited all the food as soon as the bile rose in his throat. It felt horrible, like always. ‘At least it’s out of me.’ He thought miserably. Rumple was about to head back when he remembered what he had told Emma. He actually put the dessert closer to the bridge, but if he just grabbed it on the way back, maybe she wouldn’t notice.  
“Why did you hide the food in the woods?” Emma asked when Rumple returned.  
“Because I wanted to,” he answered simply.  
Rumple put the chocolate cake in front of her. It had hot, melted chocolate on the inside and chocolate drizzled over the top.  
“How did you know I like chocolate?” Emma asked.  
“All women like chocolate, or at least most of them. Also, whenever you order sweets from Granny’s, you either order bear claws or something with chocolate,” Rumple replied.  
“A little creepy, but very observant,” she commented before taking a bite of the cake and moaning.  
“This is so good,” Emma said.  
“It’s homemade,” Rumple remarked.  
“You are an amazing cook. I assume all of dinner was homemade,” Emma guessed.  
“Why, yes, it was,” he confirmed with a proud smile.  
Emma had already eaten half the cake before she noticed that Rumple hadn’t had any.  
“You haven’t eaten a lot tonight,” Emma noted.  
“Just not very hungry,” Rumple lied.  
The truth was he was starved, but he couldn’t tell anyone about his problems. He had to put on a brave face so no one would know what Zelena did to him.  
“I had a really nice night,” Emma said when they walked back to Granny’s to part ways.  
“I’m glad. I’ll get the cell built as soon as I can,” Rumple assured.  
“Maybe we could do this again sometime,” she suggested with an unsure smile.  
“Careful, or I’ll think you want to keep my company,” he joked.  
“Heavens forbid,” Emma feigned sincerity.  
They said goodbye and parted ways with smiles on their faces.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!


	3. Painful Reminders

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Have you forgotten the manners I taught you already?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains one of Rumplestiltskin's many upcoming flashbacks of torture. If you have trouble with that part of the story, just skip over the flashback. Enjoy!

Chapter 3

The next morning came all too quickly for Rumplestiltskin’s taste. He had gone to sleep thinking about Emma. But, unfortunately, he woke up thinking about Zelena. Even just a mere thought of her made him very aware of the wounds he kept hidden under his suits. He knew he was going to have to go to Regina’s house and build the cell today, so he got up stiffly. He was dulling his pain with magic, but he could still feel the wounds. They were up and down his arms, legs, back, and chest. He also had burns, that wouldn’t heal for some reason, on his feet and torso. Rumplestiltskin vividly remembered when she cut into his collarbone and neck, meaning he had to keep his collar up so no one could see the damage. He didn’t want anyone to know about how he was hurt when he was helpless, it made shame and fear wash over him.  
When he knocked on Regina’s door, he felt suddenly queasy. As soon as he finished, they would surely move Zelena in. Rumplestiltskin didn’t want to see her. If he couldn’t kill her, he didn’t want to be anywhere near her. She could tell them all how she hurt him, broke him. She had been using the glamours of Belle, Bae, Emma, and Henry, people he trusted.  
“Are you ready?” Regina asked when she opened the door.  
She gave him a once over before stepping aside. Rumplestiltskin knew he looked horrible with bags under his eyes and stiff posture, but he couldn’t help it. He went down to the basement and saw the place where he knew he would be building the cell.  
“Well, I’ll just let you work then,” Regina said a little venomously.  
She was always angry with him for something, but he didn’t have enough energy to fight back today. Instead, he just gave her a nod of acknowledgment and raised his hands in front of him.  
A few hours later, he had successfully shaped a prison cell with his magic. It looked just like the one in the sheriff station, but bigger. There was a toilet, bed, and a slot for food and water to be pushed through. There was no door, she would be put in magically, and there were wards put up around the prison so not even Regina could get to her. Rumplestiltskin pulled out his cell phone and dialed Emma’s number.  
'Rum, how’s it goin’?'  
He smiled at the term of endearment, “I’m finished.”  
'Wait there, we’re teleporting Zelena over.'  
“You’ll have to teleport above the basement. Only I can use magic inside.”  
'No problem.'  
He heard a thump upstairs and the call ended. Seconds later Emma, Zelena, Regina, Snow White, and David walked down.  
“Nice job, Rumple,” Snow said with an innocently bright smile.  
“Thank you,” Rumplestiltskin replied, but his eyes never left Zelena.  
He waved his hand and a section of the bars melted away. Emma shoved Zelena in and removed her cuffs, then Rumplestiltskin let the bars materialize once more. Zelena was staring at him smugly in the dimly lit basement.  
“Looking a little stiff there, doll,” she taunted, using the pet name she had used when he was in captivity.  
“Don’t call me that,” Gold snarled.  
“Oh, what’s wrong? Didn’t you miss me?” Zelena pouted.  
“I think you know the answer to that,” he hissed.  
He turned to see four pairs of eyes staring at the two intently.  
“Well, sis, guess we finally get to live together, like a real family,” Regina mocked.  
“Are you going to come visit me then?” the broom rider asked with fake sweetness.  
“To bring you food,” her sister replied.  
“Speaking of food, how have you been eating, Rumple?” Zelena asked.  
She knew, somehow she knew. She probably knew everything he was going through.  
“Wonderfully, now that I’m not limited to mush. Tell me Zelena, were you making horrible food on purpose, or is that just how you cook? That was worse than what the Charmings fed me, and I’m quite sure they hired someone to make disgusting meals,” Rumplestiltskin lied.  
“Come now, you looked like you enjoyed it. You ate every last bit,” she cooed.  
“No, Zelena, I didn’t,” he said coldly.  
He wanted to scream, ‘You shoved it down my throat and wouldn’t let me vomit until you left. Then you spent the rest of the day torturing me and laughing as I screamed!’ The only thing that kept him from carrying out that wish, was the four other people in the room.  
“How’re your hands, dear, they look good from here, but they also look a little stiff,” the witch smiled cruelly.  
“You know exactly how my hands are, you broom riding zucchini,” Rumple snapped.  
“So rude! Have you forgotten the manners I taught you already?” Zelena asked.  
Rumple had a brief flash back to one of the more painful days of his captivity.  
_‘Rumplestiltskin was curled up on his side in the cage Zelena kept him in. He wasn’t allowed to wear a shirt so the bare skin of his upper body was constantly in contact with the freezing concrete ground. His knees were sore from previously kneeling for hours. His hated dagger had kept him on the ground with his head bowed for what felt like an eternity before he was allowed to move. He heard the storm cellar’s doors bang open, and Zelena stormed down. He immediately stood so she wouldn’t see him curled on the ground. His knees protested the movement, but he wouldn’t let her break him, even for a second._  
_“Hello, doll. How are you feeling?” Zelena asked with false sweetness._  
_“Peachy,” her captive replied._  
_“Wonderful!” she said excitedly._  
_“What do you want?” Rumplestiltskin asked bitterly._  
_“Manners, dear,” the witch berated._  
_“Over my dead body,” the Dark One laughed angrily._  
_“Why not over your son’s?” Zelena taunted._  
_“You aren’t worthy to speak of Bae, not even for a moment. He was far too good for you,” the mourning father whispered darkly._  
_An angry look crossed Zelena’s face as she snarled, “I said ‘manners’!”_  
_She stepped into the cage and cut the dagger roughly across Rumplestiltskin’s chest. With the dagger, it cut through his flesh like a normal knife, but extreme, magically induced pain followed immediately after. Zelena laughed as the sorcerer screamed in pain and fell to the floor as the cut from his left shoulder to his right hip began to bleed. She’d hurt him before, sure, but the dagger was always the worst. The pain of his wound didn’t let up, even after several minutes of him hissing curses at Zelena had passed. He loathed the fact he was at her feet, but his body hurt even more than it had previously. Before, he had many bruises covering his torso from when she beat him with that hellish little pipe she had. Several of his ribs had been broken the last time she used it. Everything she did to him, every painful second of it, was titled a lesson. When she beat him it was for “getting snippy” or not paying attention to her when she ranted about Regina. She just wanted to hurt him, he knew. Her twisted version of amusement was him whimpering and cradling broken ribs and black bruises._  
_“Do you feel like being polite now, servant?” Zelena mocked as he stumbled to his feet._  
_He didn’t want to feel any lower than he already did, so he met her gaze with his own defiant glare. He had no way to fight back except for raging at her, and that ended in pain._  
_“Oh, dearie, I’m always polite to people who deserve it. You don’t, though, so, no,” Rumplestiltskin sneered, filling the retort with as much hate as he could muster._  
_Zelena turned him around and shoved him roughly against the mesh of the cage. She then took his -no- her dagger and cut a straight line from his right shoulder blade to his left.. He convulsed in agony and let out a sharp scream that wouldn’t stay locked in his chest. The wound on his chest was also pressed up against the bars, so it burned and bled just as the one on his back now did._  
_“I’m going to leave. When I come back, be polite, and just maybe you won’t hurt too much more,” the witch behind him snarled menacingly.’_

“Rumplestiltskin?” David asked cautiously.  
Rumplestiltskin realized he had not spoken for several seconds after the witch’s question. What was it again? He had been buried far too deeply in one of his memories. As the blood returned to his face, he realized it had drained while he was thinking. His hands had become clammy and the four heroes were staring at him in evident concern.  
“Appears you haven’t, good. I’m glad you remember,” Zelena smiled.  
Her smile made his gut churn, and suddenly, he felt sick. He felt like he needed to vomit, and the world began to spin. Rumplestiltskin braced himself against the nearest wall as he gagged. He had nothing in his stomach to wretch, so for several long moments, he dry heaved. Emma and Snow came rushing over to him and steadied him until he stopped.  
“Oh my Lord! Rumplestiltskin, what’s wrong?!” Snow asked with genuine concern.  
“Nothing, nothing, I’m fine. Just got dizzy for a second,” Rumplestiltskin choked out between gasps of air.  
Zelena was smiling triumphantly in her cage as she watched the Savior and Snow White question Rumplestiltskin about what happened. She knew he was remembering the memory she had triggered. He looked absolutely horrible. He was sweating and pale, still gasping for air while he tried to put himself together. He didn’t want the heroes to see how damaged he was, how broken. ‘How cute.’ The witch just watched on in silent amusement as Rumplestiltskin dismissed it as not eating breakfast and just being hungry. He probably hadn’t been eating; his suits were noticeably hanging off of him. He wasn’t getting any sleep, either, if the dark circles under his eyes were any indicator. Judging by the fact he walked in so stiffly, she would say he wasn’t able to heal all the wounds, and was only able to mitigate some of the pain. It filled her with glee to know he was still suffering, still thinking of her. Even if she hadn’t completed her task, this was almost as satisfying.  
Rumplestiltskin had to get out of there. Everyone was still giving him doubtful looks as he put himself back together. Emma looked like she couldn’t decide whether to help him or just keep her hands to herself. He was grateful she chose the latter.  
“If you’ll all excuse me, I have somewhere to be. I’ve completed the task, tell me if there is anything wrong with the cage or the wards,” Rumplestiltskin excused as he made his way out of the basement that suddenly reminded him a little too much of the cage he had been in only a month prior. He hoped no one commented on his episode, but he knew there were definitely going to be some strange looks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please tell me what you thought and if there is anything you would like me to put into the story. Thank you for reading!


	4. Can't Sleep

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Who do you belong to?"

Chapter 4

After Rumplestiltskin got back to his home on the excuse he had somewhere to be, he was so tired. It had taken an almost inhuman amount of strength to keep from curling up into a ball in front of the heroes. He couldn’t afford to show that kind of weakness, especially when Zelena was in the room. The magic he used already had his eyes shuttering closed, but the effort of not completely breaking down into a sobbing mess on Regina’s basement floor made him practically collapse on his bed when he got home. He didn’t even have time to change into his pajamas before his brain retired and introduced sleep in its place. He didn’t want to sleep, but now he had little choice. That’s when the nightmares came.  
_‘The cuts from several hours previous were burning his chest and back. Rumplestiltskin knew there would be more to come if the heroes didn’t hurry up. They didn’t care though, they never did. To them, he was a tool. They called him family when they wanted to keep their caring image in the public’s eyes. Behind closed doors, it was always his fault. Somehow, the world’s problems always stemmed from him. Therefore, when they wanted help, instead of merely asking, it was “you owe us this much”or “it was your fault, it’s your responsibility”. He always ended up helping them, though, because of Belle. His precious Belle, his reason for everything. She admired the heroes that he knew only as hypocrites. ‘Hmm, herocrites.’ He thought it suited them perfectly. Once he started thinking of Belle, though, he couldn’t stop. Even when the flickering light of the cellar clicked on and his captor descended the steps._  
_“Morning, Rumple. Did you miss me?” Zelena smiled._  
_“No, I didn’t. I miss Belle,” Rumplestiltskin said through gritted teeth._  
_“That little flower? She’s much too pure for you, doll,” the witch taunted._  
_“I agree, but she loves me,” the sorcerer argued._  
_“Does she, though? I’m not so sure. She’ll leave you like all the rest,” Zelena promised haughtily._  
_Rumplestiltskin pulled his aching body off the floor so he could stand in front of her. He gave her a harsh glare filled with all the rage he could muster._  
_“Belle won’t leave me. She’s far better than everyone else, especially you,” Rumplestiltskin snarled._  
_“On your knees!” Zelena commanded, using the dagger._  
_Rumplestiltskin’s body fell and his knees violently hit the floor, causing him to growl in pain. She fisted her hand in his hair and pulled his head back to expose his neck. When she brought the dagger up by his collarbone, he wasn’t surprised._  
_“Stop speaking of Belle! She’s not coming, none of them are. You and I are alone. You are mine, not hers. She has laid no claim to you,” Zelena yelled, talking as if he were a mere object._  
_“And I suppose you have?” he sneered._  
_Zelena dug the dagger into the right side of his collarbone, then the left. He screamed in agony and convulsed. It was hard kneeling and with her hand in his hair, but he managed. As the magical pain followed, weaving into his muscles, his body spasmed and convulsed again and again. The pain was overwhelming and was causing his head to spin. He felt like he was under water with the cage and walls blurry and floating. Little yellow and blue spots danced across his vision as he screamed and whimpered. He didn’t want the witch to see this, but he just couldn’t stop. Somewhere in the distance, he noticed her laughing at him. At the moment, though, he couldn’t bring himself to care, the pain was just too much. After another long while, his screaming stopped as his throat went raw. The convulsing slowed to irregular spasms, and his whimpering died into short gasps for air._  
_“Now, who do you belong to?” Zelena asked sweetly._  
_“B-belle,” Rumplestiltskin rasped out._  
_The dagger came down once more, but this time on his neck. It dug into the spot just above his vertebrae and scraped down the right side of his neck to the base. White light flashed before his eyes as the sensitive skin of his neck bled. The pain seeped into his skin and bones, travelling throughout his body and making him convulse once more. Zelena let go of his hair and he fell to the floor. His body jerked and spasmed as he gasped out painful screams. The hurting sound travelled through his raw throat for a surprisingly long time before he couldn’t find the energy to scream anymore. He didn’t want to experience more pain at the hands of the sadistic being in front of him, but he didn’t want to betray Belle either. When his convulsions died down once more and he was just whimpering on the floor, Zelena spoke again, though it took a moment for him to comprehend what she asked._  
_“Who do you belong to?” Zelena asked tenderly, like she cared for him,like she wasn’t the cause of his suffering._  
_“You,” Rumplestiltskin whispered almost inaudibly._  
_He was a master of words, he could tell her what she wanted to hear without meaning it. So he whispered those words, the ones he hated with a passion, but had to say._  
_“You don’t sound terribly convinced, we’ll fix that,” Zelena decided._  
_Before he could register what that meant, he felt the dagger tugging him into a standing position. He was amazed his shaking legs could hold his weight, but he knew it was only magic that kept him up. Suddenly a different kind of magic came into the air. He felt the tingle of it as chains appeared, dangling from the top of the cage._  
_“Step between them,” Zelena ordered._  
_He felt his body moving before he could even think about it. Rumplestiltskin started shaking as Zelena put the cuffs of the chains around his wrists and adjusted the chains. He suddenly found himself about two inches off the ground._  
_“Now, you get to learn your place. You are my slave, now and forever, you are mine. Not Belle’s, not the heroes’, not even your own. You belong to me,” Zelena insisted as a thin metal rod appeared in her right hand, the one not holding the dagger any longer._  
_The rod was about an inch in diameter and as long as her arm. Suddenly, a pile of hot coals appeared in front of her. She used the rod to carefully push them all beneath his feat. His feet were only a few centimeters away from the burning rocks and he could feel the heat. It started hurting after the first few seconds and he hissed in pain as the heat started growing. Then, Zelena lowered him a little and he screamed. His feat came in contact with coals and it burned. There was no way to fully explain the feeling of your skin burning off, but he couldn’t even think about how he was feeling over the pain. There was no thought of what his feet would look like later,just the pain. It hurt so much, he just wanted it to stop. He screamed as agony swept up his legs. When his eyes started to water as he blinked back the tears, Zelena stuck the metal rod into the coals and let it get hot. Then she thrust it against his abdomen as he began to convulse once more. She continued to poke him with the hot rod for hours... ‘_  
Rumplestiltskin woke up screaming. He could feel the pain all over his body. It was burning and hurting so very much. He was supposed to be Zelena’s, he remembered agreeing. Why was she hurting him more? He had confessed to being hers already. Then he looked around and realized where he was. He was in his salmon pink Victorian, in his bed. He was safe. He wasn’t Zelena’s. He vividly remembered that day. She had tortured him for hours until he snapped. He had cried and told her he belonged to her forever. She had just smiled gleefully and continued to burn him. He stood up and stripped down to his boxers. Rumplestiltskin’s pajama pants were made of silk, but even those seemed to hurt his battered body. He had taken to sleeping without a shirt on since it always felt constricting when he woke up. He looked in his mirror and saw the scars he couldn’t heal marring his flesh. He had been able to heal a few of the burn marks, but some of them wouldn’t go away. He had burn spots all over his torso that just triggered too many painful memories. He turned away from the mirror and climbed under the covers of his bed. He looked over at his clock. It was twelve thirty-seven, still a few hours until he went to Granny’s for a cup of hot tea to calm his ever raging psyche. He closed his eyes but they snapped open quickly and darted around the room. He turned his bedside lamp on and slid further down into his covers. He couldn’t go back to sleep, but he could close his eyes and try to think of anything but Zelena. It didn’t work, she was all he could think about. Rumplestiltskin stared at the ceiling instead and just laid there.  
The morning came quickly and Emma opened her eyes as light streamed through the window in her room. She was still living in the loft with her parents, so her room was just as it had been before the curse broke. It was the one place she could be in without being reminded of the weirdness that was her family. She could lay in bed and pretend it was all a dream.  
“Emma! Breakfast is ready!” David called.  
Emma groaned and got out of bed. ‘There goes that fantasy.’ She thought sullenly. Then she remembered Mr. Gold. As she pulled her shirt over her head, she couldn’t get the image of him doubled over, gagging and trying to vomit food that wasn’t in his belly, out of her head. There was definitely something more than a dizzy spell to that story. The way his face went pale when Zelena spoke to him. What had she said? Oh, yeah. “Have you forgotten the manners I taught you already?” He had evidently remembered something, she just didn’t know what. She decided if she saw him later, she would question him further. Emma came down the stairs to the sight of Henry, Snow, and David sitting at the table waiting for her. David was sitting at the head of the table with his back to her, Henry sat to his left, and Snow next to Henry. Emma took the seat on David’s right and was suddenly hit with a memory. Gold had been sitting in the same seat when he was helping her get the job as Sheriff. Granted he did try to blow her up later, but it was still a fond memory.  
“Hello? Mom! Are you ready to eat? I’m starving,” Henry prodded.  
“Hmm? Oh, yah, let’s eat,” Emma suggested, shaken from her reverie.  
“What’s on the list today?” David asked as he cut into his pancakes.  
“I’m going to Granny’s for coffee, then I’m going to the station,” Emma informed as she took a bite of her own pancakes.  
“You could just take some coffee from here,” Snow suggested.  
“No, that’s okay. Thanks, though,” Emma excused.  
The real reason she wanted to get coffee was so she could see if Gold was there. She also wanted to question a certain wolf about some things. She wouldn’t tell them that, though.  
They ate the rest of their meals in comfortable silence. When they were done, Snow took the dishes into the kitchen to be washed and Emma grabbed her jacket and keys. She headed out the door and got in her car, starting the engine. She was determined to find out what was wrong with Gold- no, no, Rum.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!


	5. Moving Hands

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "We need to talk."
> 
> "Do we really?"

Chapter 5  
When he walked into the diner, everything momentarily stopped. He was used to that happening. If he was Rumplestiltskin or Gold, he could slip in a puddle as soon as he walked in, and people still wouldn’t laugh. He wanted nothing to do with anyone, and they stayed away. There were some, though, that were either brazen or stupid enough, that they just wouldn’t stop. Like Regina. As soon as he sat down on one of the bar stools, wincing unnoticeably at the pain in his legs as they bent, Regina came over to pester him.  
“We need to talk,” Regina announced as she situated herself to his left.  
“Do we really?” Rumplestiltskin asked dismissively.  
“Yes, we do. What was that the other day?” the queen demanded.  
“Whatever do you mean, Your Majesty?” he deflected.  
“Really? Ignorance doesn’t suit you, Rumple,” Regina informed him.  
“Well, in this world, they do say ignorance is bliss,” Gold said.  
“You looked like you were trying to wretch all over my basement floor,” she accused.  
“Perhaps it was because I was dizzy, just like I said,” he suggested.  
“Or perhaps you’re dying, how should I know? I’m not asking because I care. I’m asking because, if we need you, you need to be there,” Regina snapped.  
“I’ll be there, if I want to be there,” Rumplestiltskin snarled.  
He hated people telling him what to do. They’d done it his whole life, and he was sick of it. Now that everyone knew of his dagger, it was worse. The fear was near crippling, every second of every day. He knew no one could get to it, it was protected by all the magic he could put on it and locked away in his floor safe. But still, the fear wasn’t logical, it was just fear. The terrifying intensity of it made him want to curl up in a ball on the floor. To cry and cry and never get up. The only thing stopping him from breaking was the fact that Bae, his precious boy, wanted him to keep living. He had to live for Bae, for Henry, and maybe even for Emma.  
“You’ll be there if we ask you to be there,” Regina barked.  
“No, no I won’t, dearie. You need a reality check. I am my own master now, and I’ll do as I please,” Rumplestiltskin deadpanned, ending the conversation.  
Regina stalked off out the door, finally leaving him in peace. He couldn’t help but flinch every time the bell tinkled when the door moved. The noise, the smell of food, the pressure of being surrounded by people, it was too much. The walls started closing in on him, the room was shrinking. Everything was choking him, he couldn’t breathe. He started gasping for air, but thankfully, no one noticed. He walked briskly to the bathroom and locked himself in a stall. It was even smaller, but at least he was away from the people. He abruptly turned around and wretched. Luckily, he hadn’t ordered his tea yet, so he just gagged and choked. It took a few minutes for it to slow. He needed water, but it would only be thrown up if he tried to drink any. When he was sure he would be okay, he went back into the diner. Taking his seat once more, he waited for Red to come around.  
“What can I getcha?” Red asked with a forced smile.  
“Just some tea, please. You know how I like it,” Rumplestiltskin ordered tiredly.  
“You know, you should eat something. You look horrible,” the wolf suggested.  
“Thank you for that assessment, but I believe you’re my waitress, not my doctor,” he snarled defensively.  
With an angry glare, she walked away to get his tea. Rumplestiltskin hoped that last comment wouldn’t order him any spit cream, but he never knew. He really wouldn’t put it past anyone in Storybrooke to spit in his tea anonymously if given the chance.  
Emma walked into the diner and looked around, hoping to spot long chocolate hair. Her eyes quickly scanned the diner and landed on the person she was looking for. He was seated at a bar stool, and there were empty ones on either side of him. She walked over and took the one to his left. She noticed he flinched when she sat down. That was weird, he never, ever flinched. He was the master of stealth and was never caught unawares.  
“Good morning,” Emma greeted gently.  
“‘Morning,” Rumplestiltskin answered wearily.  
Sans the ‘good’, that did not go unnoticed.  
“You all good?” Emma asked cautiously.  
“Why wouldn't I be?” Rumplestiltskin asked.  
“Oh, I don't know. Perhaps because you didn't look so hot yesterday,” she supplied, then looked down at her words.  
“That would be implying I look hot today,” Rumplestiltskin smirked teasingly.  
“No, you look like hell frozen over,” Emma said honestly.  
“Making a magic cage will drain you, dearie,” he explained, his smirk dropping.  
“You looked bad before that too,” she pressed.  
“Haven’t been getting much sleep since…” he trailed off.  
“Since?” Emma repeated expectantly.  
‘Since Zelena.’ “Since Belle left,” He supplied.  
Emma suspected there was something he was leaving out, but Belle was a start.  
“What happened?” Emma asked hesitantly.  
“I was going to propose, but she said she found someone better. She said I was a monster and that I was just her project. Belle just left. Just like all of them,” he mumbled the last part.  
Emma had the overwhelming urge to hug him, but she knew that would be out of line. He was so sad, so depressed.  
“I’m sorry that happened. You know, don’t tell anyone, but I don’t think you’re a monster,” the Savior whispered.  
“Why not? I am,” Rumplestiltskin argued softly, sadly.  
“No. I’ve seen monsters, you’re not one of them. You cared about Neal, you loved him. Monsters can’t love,” Emma said, and he snorted.  
“Yeah, love, I’m full of that,” Rumplestiltskin said sarcastically.  
Red finally brought his tea over in one of the paper cups he liked. Rumplestiltskin wasn’t sure why he liked the paper cups, but he did. He took a sip and let the hot liquid run down his throat. As long as he didn’t drink too fast, he was hoping it would all stay down. Emma was already suspicious, he didn’t want her finding anything else out.  
“You got anything planned for today?” Emma asked, changing the subject.  
“I was thinking about going into the shop. It’s the only place that I really feel at peace now,” Rumplestiltskin said before he even realized it.  
He looked at her sharply and then looked down quickly. He didn’t mean to let that slip. He hadn’t had anyone to talk to about his problems. Rumplestiltskin was so starved of human contact, and Emma was willingly staying by him.  
“So, if you need me, I’ll be there,” he added as a means to cover his previous statement.  
“Okay, maybe I’ll stop by for lunch?” Emma suggested.  
“Why, Miss Swan, are you suggesting that you want to spend time with me?” Rumplestiltskin asked teasingly.  
“Maybe, maybe not. Perhaps I’m just making sure you aren’t plotting to blow up the town,” Emma offered.  
“If I was going to blow up the town, you’d never know,” he said with a smirk.  
“That’s what the snooping is for,” the Savior smiled.  
“And call me Emma,” she added as an afterthought.  
“As you wish, Em-ma,” he pronounced her name.  
There was something about the way he said her name that sent shivers down her spine. They were good shivers, though. She got up and walked out of the diner. It wasn’t until she got to the station that she realized two things. The first was, she had yet another date with Rumplestiltskin. The second was…  
“Darn it! I forgot the coffee!”

Rumplestiltskin pushed the door to his shop open after unlocking it and listened to his little bell jingle happily above the door. As of late, he had been discovering that noises and movement made him involuntarily flinch, but that bell was just calming. It was such a familiar sound. Before the curse broke, he had listened to that bell for twenty-eight years, and after the curse broke, he had listened to it for a while more. Desperate townsfolk had slowly opened the door to his shop, hoping to strike a deal with him. Regina had come barging in haughtily to PMS at him. Charming had asked for directions to the Toll Bridge. Snow had come in demanding help. Young Henry had come to buy a gift for his teacher, who he now knew as his grandmother. And, of course, how many times had Emma Swan walked in? For help, or to accuse him of something. Then he smiled as a thought crossed his mind. That bell would jingle once more when the Savior crossed his threshold. She would bring lunch to eat with him. Of all people, she was spending lunch with him. He didn’t know where the rum soaked pirate was currently wandering, but the Swan was spending time with the Imp and not the Pirate. He would be having lunch with Emma, not Miss Swan, not Sheriff Swan, not even the Savior. Just Emma. Witty, brilliant, beautiful Emma. He stepped behind the curtain thinking of nothing but her. She had said he wasn’t a monster. She had said to call her Emma. If only she knew everything he had done, she wouldn’t want to spend time with him. He would warn her away, but not right now. For now, he would enjoy her company. He grabbed an old box on a nearby shelf, setting it gently on his work table. He opened it to reveal the different parts to a model train. Rumplestiltskin grabbed his tools off the table and sorted the pieces he needed. He hadn’t done this for a while because of the shaking in his hands. They were stiff and sore, but they were mostly healed. At least this way, no one could see them so damaged as they were. He held his hands up poised to start, but they started shaking. He grabbed his still hot tea and brought it up to his lips, but his hand jerked and suddenly the tea was dumped all over his hands. He yelped in surprise and shut his eyes as he felt the heat burrowing into his skin. It felt just like… just like…

_‘Rumplestiltskin’s body burned as he stood up. The broken bones that moved in response almost sent him back to the ground. He groaned in pain, but stayed standing, leaning heavily on the bars. His feet would have felt like fire from hell, but they had gone numb from the blazing pain. His neck was stinging sharply and his breath was rough as a result of the pain. His back and chest were still sore and pained, but it was mostly tolerable. He had several more cuts covering his body, most were right over the burn marks left by the rod. The monkey-loving cucumber wouldn’t let up. She was down in the cage everyday. Always there to remind him he couldn’t escape. It was night, so she was asleep in the farmhouse for the moment. She kept the dagger near, but not on her. He couldn’t just go pick it up of course, but she wasn’t using it right that second. Her hands weren’t on it to enforce any specific commands. She had said nothing when she left him that evening, so he had nothing bouncing around in his head. He grabbed the thin pieces of wood he had hidden under the straw he laid on. His spinning wheel had been in the cage for a while, long enough to splinter two pieces off of it. He stumbled over to the cage lock and stuck the wood in. He wiggled it around for a few moments before he heard a click. The door swung open, and he smiled. A flicker of pathetic hope flew quickly through his conscience. He gingerly took a step out and when he didn’t get hurt or pushed back, he took another. Rumplestiltskin climbed the stairs and tentatively pushed the cellar doors open. He looked around outside, and when he saw it all clear, he emerged from the cellar. He was still without a shirt, in only his pants which were extremely loose after he had lost so much weight. The cold air bit into his wounds and he hissed in pain. The next breath he took felt like heaven, though. The clean, forest scented air filled his lungs, and he could have cried in happiness. He started walking towards the road that led to Storybrooke. Sure, Zelena would bring him back with the dagger, but only if she caught him. Surely if he came back before she woke, he would be fine. He could just get some of his wounds tended to and tell the heroes to step on it with the plan to defeat Regina’s sister, then he could come back. His ribs were burning and aching after the first few steps, but he ignored them. He was nearly to the road when he felt a painful tug._   
_“Oh dear, what is this? My pet trying to run away? Well, stumble away more like,” Zelena mocked._   
_Rumplestiltskin turned around while the claws of dread slowly closed around his heart. It also could have been the dagger, but he really wasn’t sure._   
_“Zelena! Fancy seeing you here. How are you?” he asked._   
_“Back in your cage, slave,” she snarled angrily._   
_Before he could protest, his body moved back down the stairs into his cage. He wasn’t sure what she would do, but before she descended the stairs, he hid the wood pieces. As her heels clicked against the concrete, he began to shake. He wanted to be strong, defiant, but it would do no good. He probably looked just as weak as he felt, covered in blood and dirt from his cage, cuts and bruises lining his torso, and nothing but tattered trousers on. He tried to steady the growing terror, but it was no use._   
_“Tell me, what would you do if your pet tried to run away?” Zelena asked curiously._   
_The dagger compelled him to tell the truth,”I would teach it to stay put.”_   
_“Precisely,” the witch said._   
_She sauntered into the cage and circled him once before waving her hand. As magic tinged the air, a metal sheet appeared on the ground in front of him._   
_“Kneel, pet,” Zelena ordered with a malicious smile._   
_He had no choice but to let his knees hit the ground. He bowed his head, hoping to avoid her gaze as she came to stand by his right side. She bent down and grabbed his jaw so he was facing her and not the front of the cage. Her breath against his face made him shudder in revulsion. She was too close for comfort and he wanted nothing more than to push her away, but he couldn’t._   
_“Your hands are just as talented as your tongue, imp, but you should only use them for what I tell you. If you won’t learn your lesson through words, you’ll have to learn it through actions,” she whispered to him._   
_Suddenly, the metal sheet began to heat up like a fire was lit under it. It grew warmer and warmer until it was glowing white hot. She looked at him expectantly._   
_“Hands. If you won’t use them the way I want you to, you won’t use them at all. Palms down,” Zelena ordered venomously._   
_He looked at her incredulously. She couldn’t be serious, she just couldn’t._   
_“NOW!” she ordered._   
_This time, he didn’t have a choice as his dagger’s magic channeled into him. His hands uncurled from the fists they had been in and straightened out. Automatically, his limbs moved in front of him and his hands came down on the metal sheet. He screamed in pain as the metal made contact. He watched as his skin started burning. His throat was raw and hurting, but an inhumane scream tore out of it. He saw red as the pain spiralled up his arms from his hands. It hurt so much, he just wanted it to stop. The pain overwhelmed his brain as he tried to remember why this was happening. His arm muscles spasmed and twitched as he longed to pull away. His hands felt like they would come off and all he could do was scream. He screamed until there was no breath in his lungs. His throat was trying to close up from the lack of water and overuse, and he found himself choking. Tears began streaming down his face as his hands started to lose feeling at the fingertips. His mouth gaped open in a silent attempt at a scream as whimpers started escaping every other ragged breath. Finally, he was able to pull his hands away, and he lept back, scuttling into the corner furthest away from Zelena. He was afraid to look at his hands, but he did anyway. There were blisters covering his hands and black spots of burnt skin. It all looked red and black and wet. His fingers had gone numb, but his palms and arms were laced with splitting burning aches. His mind was lost to the pain, floating in a never ending sea of agony. His vision swam as he looked away from his ruined hands. He didn’t even want to think about using them. If, by some miracle, he could ever heal them, they would never feel the same. They would always bear the ghost of burning pain, they would always be sensitive. He knew that was Zelena’s goal, to have him hurt forever._   
_“Now, doll, maybe you’ll listen better,” the witch cackled._   
_“Never! Despite what you may think, I’m not your pet!” Rumplestiltskin croaked._   
_The dagger came down and cut viciously into his right side, right over several burns, bruises, and broken ribs. He wheezed and choked out a pathetic attempt of a scream. It was short, clipped, and raspy. He curled into himself, hoping to have some refuge from the pain. It did nothing but make it burn more. Several convulsions swept his body as he spasmed against the mesh of the cage. It hurt too much to think. All he could see was a white sheet as his arms and body burned. He could feel blood and sweat dripping down the new wound onto his stomach. All he was aware of was the pain, and when he opened his eyes, Zelena was gone. He didn’t know how long he tried to scream, or how long he convulsed, but by the time his body’s movements slowed, he was a whimpering mess and just wanted to sleep. He was sure she would be back in the morning…’_

Rumplestiltskin whimpered and moaned until he heard a distant noise. Opening his eyes, he looked around, afraid to see Zelena standing over him with the dagger,but he was alone. When he heard the same noise again, he realized it was the bell of his shop. Didn’t Emma say lunch? He just left Granny’s a few minutes ago. He looked at the vintage clock on the wall and did a double take. It read eleven fifty-three, and he was on the floor. Mind coming back into focus, he realized he was curled in a ball, rocking back and forth. His body didn’t want to stop the somewhat comforting movement, but he forced himself to get up.  
“Rum? You here?” he heard Emma call out.  
“Yes, I’ll be out in a moment,” Rumplestiltskin replied, trying to sound calm.  
He went to one of his cabinets and pulled out a handheld mirror. He looked pale and sweaty. There were tear tracks down his face and his eyes were rimmed red. He cursed silently and threw the mirror down next to his forgotten tools on the work desk. Rumplestiltskin nearly slipped on the tea he had dropped when he walked over to the vintage clothes rack. He hurriedly mopped the tea up and threw the cup into his trash can. He grabbed another towel and the extra suit he kept on the rack with the other clothes for emergencies. He stripped down to his black boxers and wiped all the sweat off of himself with the towel. He threw it in the corner with the tea soaked rag and put a bit of cologne on, hoping he didn’t smell like sweat. He dressed in his new suit quickly and fixed his hair. He was now wearing a black suit jacket and pants. He had a navy blue shirt on with a black tie that he had to straighten out carefully.  
“Rum, are you okay?” Emma asked, concern lacing her voice.  
He came out of the back room and took her in. She was wearing a gray shirt with a blue leather jacket and her usual skinny jeans and boots. He couldn’t help but notice she changed out of what she was wearing earlier and suddenly felt a lot better about the situation.  
“Indeed. It seems you had the same idea I did,” Rumplestiltskin assured,jestering to her clothes.  
Of course, that’s not what happened, but it was an apt excuse.  
“Oh, yeah! I just- I thought maybe we could go somewhere?” Emma suggested reluctantly.  
Surprise flashed across his face, and for several moments, they both just stood there. She actually wanted to go somewhere with him?  
“Y-yes, we can go somewhere. There’s a lovely sandwich shop just down two streets,” Gold suggested.  
“I didn’t even know you knew what a sandwich shop was. I figured you suggest some overblown fancy restaurant,” Emma admitted.  
“Fancy restaurants don’t really seem like they’re your forte. And I know about the sandwich shop because the only ice cream parlor in Storybrooke is right across from it,” Rumplestiltskin smirked.  
“Oooo, we can get ice cream afterwards,” the Savior smiled.  
“On one condition,” he reasoned.  
“Of course there’s a condition. Shoot. And I’m not going to kiss you, so don’t even try,” Emma said warningly.  
“Oh, I wouldn’t dream of it. If you were going to kiss me, I would want it to be of your own volition. No, no, my condition is that you let me pay,” Rumplestiltskin assured.  
“Really? I suppose I could live with that. As long as you let me pay next time,” Emma agreed.  
Rumplestiltskin was so amazed that she would want a next time that he could say nothing but “deal”. He offered his arm for her to take, and to his further surprise, she did. They walked out the door and down two streets for lunch.


	6. Sandwiches and Pet Names

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Have you been spying on me, Emma?"
> 
> "Maybe just a little."

Chapter 6 

When they walked into the deli, they were surprised to find it mostly empty. Emma figured there would be at least ten people in there for lunch, but there were only four, not including the people who worked there. Emma let go of Rumplestiltskin’s arm and looked up at the menu behind the counter.  
“Feel free to get anything,” Rumplestiltskin said, jestering to his wallet.  
“Okay, thanks,” Emma replied.  
They were getting strange looks from the other people sitting in the shop. There was a couple enjoying their sandwiches in the far corner, and the other two people were at separate tables. They were all trying to be discreet and doing a terrible job. When Rumplestiltskin looked over at them, they looked down quickly, making him smirk.  
“You get this everywhere?” the Savior asked.  
“You thought differently? I’ve told you before that I’m the town monster, what else did you expect?” he answered nonchalantly.  
“You’re not that bad,” Emma surmised.  
“You really think so? I must be losing my edge,” Rumplestiltskin quipped dryly.  
“Well, I think you’re plenty edgy if it makes you feel any better,” Emma smirked.  
“Are you planning on ordering?” he asked.  
“Yah. Um, can I have a Turkey Bacon on sourdough with Swiss cheese and pickles?” she ordered.  
“Hmm, pickles. They are one of the many things I love about this world,” Rumplestiltskin revealed airily.  
“I don’t see pickles on your plate a lot at Granny’s,” Emma commented.  
“Have you been spying on me, Emma?” the imp asked with mock hurt on his face.  
“Maybe just a little,” the sheriff admitted.  
“I love pickles. Mrs. Lucas always makes me pay extra, or she says they’re out.”  
“Maybe they are out.”  
“Then I see her bring out a plate with pickles for the next customer.”  
“Oh.”  
“Yah, ‘oh’,” Rumplestiltskin repeated.  
“That sucks. If we ever go to Granny’s, you can have my pickles,” Emma said.  
“Really? Thank you, my dear,” he sighed.  
“Thank you for not calling me ‘dearie’ anymore,” the Savior looked at him.  
“Yes, I could tell you didn’t like it. I must say, as lovely as your leg looks, I would hate to have it buried up my-”  
“Your sandwich is ready,” the man behind the counter said, unaware he was interrupting a conversation.  
“Yes, yes, thank you,” Rumplestiltskin smirked.  
Emma took her sandwich and shot Rumplestiltskin a glare before taking the table next to the window and the door. She watched him order and took the moment to look him over. She was hoping he wouldn’t turn around and catch her admiring him, but, what’s life without a little risk? It was true he wore suits better than everyone else in town. She also remembered those golden armbands he wore once. Emma knew Regina had a thing for them, and she couldn’t blame her. At the time she noticed them, though, she was too busy being angry at him to properly admire them. His suits were rather slim fitting, and it made her wonder if he was thin but muscular, or just scrawny. She had noticed Rumplestiltskin’s clothes had been hanging off of him for some time now. Since he came back from Zelena, in fact. She just chalked it up to Zelena not feeding him enough, but after the conversation she heard in the cellar, she wasn’t sure. It sounded like Zelena had been feeding him something disgusting, but she would bet her yellow Bug that there was something he wasn’t telling anyone; there always was.  
When Rumplestiltskin turned around, Emma looked away quickly, he thought he saw her blushing too. He thought perhaps she had been admiring his backside, and it made him smirk, but he would give her the benefit of the doubt. . . and maybe just a bit of teasing.  
“See anything you like?” he asked tauntingly.  
“Yes, this sandwich looks delicious, thank you,” Emma said gratefully.  
“Mmm, of course. I got pastrami,” Rumplestiltskin offered.  
“That sounds good,” the Savior said, hoping he didn’t notice where she had been looking.  
Rumplestiltskin sat down and unwrapped his sandwich as Emma did the same. They ate in companionable silence for a few moments.  
“Is this a date?” Emma asked.  
“Would you like it to be?” Gold questioned.  
She saw him start to fidget with his hands. He always did that when he needed a distraction, or when he was nervous.  
“Do you think it’s a date?” Emma asked, changing tactics.  
“That’s such a loaded question,” Rumplestiltskin countered.  
“Just tell me honestly what you think,” she pressed.  
“I-I want this. . . to be a date,” he stuttered out.  
“You’re adorable when you’re nervous,” the sheriff giggled.  
Rumplestiltskin huffed indignantly. Did she just call him cute? And was she giggling? His brain was overloading with the oddity of the situation. He didn’t respond, he just waited for her to say that it was just lunch between friends, but it didn’t come.  
“I think I want this to be a date too,” Emma admitted.  
He opened his mouth, and then snapped it shut. He raised an eyebrow and his mouth hung open slightly. She observed his expression with quiet amusement.  
“I do believe I have done the impossible,” Emma stated.  
“And what’s that, my dear?” Rumplestiltskin asked.  
“I’ve rendered Rumplestiltskin speechless,” she proclaimed.  
“You do have that affect occasionally,” he admitted.  
Before he could stop himself, an enormous grin split his face. Emma started laughing and then he started laughing as well. They just sat there, completely ignoring everyone else, and laughed with each other. It was such a peaceful moment. Rumplestiltskin forgot his scars, and Emma forgot her responsibilities.  
“I can’t believe it,” Rumplestiltskin finally said.  
“What’s that?” Emma asked.  
“I’m on a date with Emma Swan,” he smiled.  
“You can’t believe it? I’m on a date with Rumplestiltskin, how do I break that to my parents?” she laughed.  
“Maybe don’t,” the imp suggested.  
“What?” she stared at him.  
“Emma, I would love nothing more than to keep spending time with you, but I would rather keep your father’s sword out of my stomach and your mother’s arrows out of my head,” Rumplestitskin said seriously.  
“I suppose that’s a good reason,” Emma agreed.  
“Imagine what your family and friends would do if they knew you were even sparking a friendship with me, let alone going on dates,” he told her.  
“Well, as long as I can keep spending time with you, we can keep it to ourselves,” she concluded.  
“I guess that means no extra pickles, then,” Rumplestiltskin scowled.  
“I’ll buy you a jar of pickles to make up for it,” Emma snorted.  
“Deal.”

They next ventured across the street to get their ice cream. When they entered, thankfully, there was no one except for the lady behind the counter. She had blue eyes and blond hair with sharp features. Emma did a double take when she saw her. The lady looked so familiar, it was right on the tip of her tongue, but she couldn’t quite place her.  
“Hello, welcome to Any Given Sundae, what can I getcha?” Sarah, her name tag said so, asked pleasantly.  
“Good afternoon, Miss Fisher. Could we get two cones, one mint and the other. . .?” Rumplestiltskin looked over at Emma.  
“Um, Rocky Road. Please,” she ordered.  
“Ah, Rocky Road. You have good taste,” Sarah said happily as she scooped out the ice cream and put it in its respective cone.  
“Thank you very much, Miss Fisher,” Rumplestiltskin thanked and paid her.  
They walked out of the ice cream parlor with their cones in hand. Discreetly, Emma reached for Rumplestiltskin’s right hand with her left and intertwined their fingers. He looked down at their hands surprised, but then he just smiled happily as they kept walking in comfortable silence.  
“Thank you, Rum. This has been really nice,” Emma said.  
“You know, I need something to call you now that I can’t use ‘dearie’,” he considered.  
“You mean a pet name? I’ll have to get back to you on that one,” the Savior told him.  
“Okay, well when you come up with one, tell me. I’m becoming rather attached to mine. It rolls off your tongue nicely,” Rumplestiltskin smirked coyly.  
“I like it too. . . Rum,” Emma said.  
And with that, Emma went back to the station, and Rumplestiltskin went back to his shop. Emma thought about what he said and decided on her pet name.  
Rumplestiltskin wondered what she would choose, but he already had one picked out for later. He wasn’t sure he was quite ready yet, though.


	7. To Hurt or To Love?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Oh, but Rumple, it was your fault."

Chapter 7

The next morning, Rumplestiltskin was practically floating on air. Sure, he hadn’t slept, and as soon as he got home, all the food he had eaten came up in a rather violent manner, but he was dating Emma Swan! All of a sudden, he found himself thinking about what moniker Emma would choose. He knew he couldn’t use the one he came up with until later, or maybe even never, but he would hold onto it. He got his pajama bottoms off and went into his walk-in closet. All his suits were hanging up, neatly ironed and organized. There was a full length mirror at the back of the closet. Most times he wouldn’t trust mirrors, but if the Evil Queen wanted to watch him change, that was her choice. He took great satisfaction in the image of her jumping back from her mirror when she realized just who she was spying on, and what he was doing. Rumplestiltskin picked out a black suit jacket, waistcoat, collared shirt, and trousers. He sifted through his large collection of ties, pausing over one of his favorite red and black ones before grabbing a dark purple one. After he put it on and adjusted it until he nearly choked himself, he grabbed a matching pocket square and put it in his breast pocket. Looking in the mirror, he decided he looked just fine to go out. He never let himself go out looking any less than fine. After being a peasant, he savored the ability to dress his best and scare the living anything out of people. He had lived a life of pain and humiliation before he obtained magic, never again.  
When he got to Granny’s, his favorite seat was open. He sat in the booth next to the window and sighed. Some things were just always going to be comfortable. Two curses and a kidnapping later, that seat still felt as comfortable to him as it had for twenty-eight years. Red came by to take his order with a fake smile and defensive posture. Another one of those things that didn’t change: everyone hating him. Rumplestiltskin ordered his usual tea, not willing to risk breakfast in a public place. He couldn’t help but think about Emma, it was just natural. She was in his head, always. He found that no matter what he did or where he was, she was always in his head. He also found he didn’t mind too much. That thought scared him more than he was willing to admit. Belle had left him just like Milah and Cora, who’s to say Emma wouldn’t follow? He was so distracted by his thoughts, he didn’t notice Red until she put his tea in front of him. He handed her the exact amount that was owed and took a sip. The hot tea felt comforting, and he closed his eyes for a moment. He was taken back to when he was just a lad, and his aunts had made tea for him. They were probably the only people who ever loved him unconditionally. Unfortunately, they died when he was twenty, right after he married Milah. They thought he would be happy with her. They were very wrong.  
A while later, when he was almost done with his tea, a few more people came in and sat at one of the open booths. When he looked up, he realized just how many people were in the diner. He didn’t like all the noise, it was irksome, but he was almost done with his tea. His fingers started drumming on the table as he looked at the newspaper he had grabbed. After a few more moments, he started sweating. He took a napkin and wiped at his forehead. It wasn’t very hot, why was he sweating? A heavy feeling started weighing down on his mind. He was looking up every few seconds at everyone. Rumplestiltskin was anti-social, but he had never experienced anxiety when in public places. He finished his tea quickly, feeling blocked and trapped by everyone else in the diner. He could feel the sweat starting to soak through his shirt and knew he had to get out of the diner quickly. Just when he was about to get up, a pan in the kitchen clattered against the ground, and he suddenly only heard that cage door slamming.

_‘She walked around the cage, surveying him. It made him angry that she only saw him as a pet, and object, a toy. None of that irked him quite as much as the thought that he really did belong to her, though._   
_“How are your hands, doll? Healing nicely?” Zelena asked sweetly._   
_“My hands aren’t healing at all, you sadistic, monkey-petting avocado!” Rumplestiltskin growled._   
_“Such colorful names,” the witch tutted._   
_“Not really, they’re all green,” he hissed through clenched teeth._   
_“You really aren’t very good at obeying, are you?” Zelena asked mockingly._   
_“No, I’ve alway been a bit of a rebel,” the imp said sarcastically._   
_“We’ll just have to fix that then, won’t we?” she snarled._   
_That woman was unstable, her mood swings worried him greatly. She was going to hurt him regardless of what he said, but goading the monster probably wasn’t a good idea. It just came naturally to be defiant. He felt so much like the terrified spinner that he had been. Unknowingly, he started shaking as Zelena continued to circle him. She smirked at him as he trembled on his knees in the middle of the cage.’_

He was sitting in the diner sweating and shaking. His gaze was far off, and his eyes were glazed over. Red was taking notice as he stared at the window, sweat dripping down his face. No one else was paying attention to him, just enjoying their food. The wolf walked over to him and called his name repeatedly. When he didn’t say anything she just watched, afraid to touch him.

_‘She stopped in front of him and touched the side of his face. He jerked his head away, desperate to be away from her. She just snarled and grabbed his jaw, yanking his head to face her._   
_“Don’t turn away from me!” Zelena snapped._   
_When he didn’t answer, she just sneered. She drew the dagger out of her belt smoothly with her left hand. She stared at him for a moment, then let his face go. Zelena bounced the dagger off of her right hand a few times, sending sharp pains through his body and bouncing around his skull. He whimpered quietly, but didn’t move. He had been showing far too much weakness as of late, that needed to be remedied. She was trying to break him, and Rumplestiltskin couldn’t let that happen. He had to get back to Belle, he just had to._   
_“You know, I think I’ll give you some time to think about your words. I’m going to come back tonight, and you’re going to scream. It’s your choice whether you want to scream long, though,” Zelena tittered._   
_And just like that, she left. Rumplestiltskin shuddered in flowing relief as she closed the cellar door. The lights were out, but she was gone. He went back to his little corner and looked down at his damaged hands. He couldn’t try escaping before she came back, his hands were too damaged to pick a lock. All he could do was wait, and try to find a way out of this._   
_What felt like hours passed as Rumplestiltskin waited. He would have been pacing if his feet didn’t feel like lava. There were sharp pains going through his legs every second of every day, but it was far worse when he was moving. He didn’t know what to expect, she could do anything to him. Just then, the cellar doors were opened carefully, quietly._   
_“Rumplestiltskin?” someone whispered._   
_“Belle? You can’t be here,” Rumplestiltskin warned immediately._   
_“No, it’s not Belle. Can I come down?” the lady asked._   
_“I suppose, though I wouldn’t advise it,” the imp said cautiously._   
_The light turned on, and though it was dim, he saw Emma Swan. She was looking right at him with a sweet smile on her face. The dagger was in her hand, too._   
_“H-how did you…?” Rumplestiltskin asked incredulously._   
_“I took it from Zelena. I’m here to free you,” she said._   
_“Really? I can go?” he asked hopefully._   
_“Oh, not just yet. I have to do something first,” Emma said._   
_“What are you doing?” Rumplestiltskin asked as the Savior entered his cage and stood above him._   
_“On your knees in the middle of the cage,” she ordered._   
_“W-what? I don’t understand,” he stuttered, confused._   
_“Do as I said!” Emma shouted furiously._   
_Rumplestiltskin would have liked to believe she wouldn’t hurt him, but he wasn’t sure. The look in her eyes told him she was dangerous, and with his dagger, he had nowhere to run. So, he crawled to the center of the cage and sat back on his legs._   
_“You tore me away from my parents! It was your fault I had the life I had! I could have been a princess, with my parents, with a good life. I wasn’t a princess, though, all because you wanted to find YOUR SON! How could you do that to me? How could you sacrifice the life of so many for one boy? WHAT GAVE YOU THE RIGHT?” Emma screamed at him._   
_“Please, Emma, I’m sorry. I really am. You wouldn’t be the person you are today without that, though. You wouldn’t have Henry. I didn’t want those people to die, I just wanted my son back,” Rumplestiltskin pleaded with tears streaming down his face at the thought of his boy._   
_“You didn’t want people to die? You didn’t care! It was all about you! You couldn’t handle the fact that no one loved you. So you went after the person you thought could. Well, guess what? He didn’t. It took death for him to admit that he cared for you, but that was one second. He hated you for CENTURIES! You are worthless Rumplestiltskin, and I’m going to make sure you never forget that,” Emma yelled angrily._   
_“W-what are you going to do, Emma? Please, I’m sorry. I just wanted my boy back!” the imp sobbed brokenly._   
_“Hold your right arm out,” Emma said calmly._   
_He had no choice but to comply. His arm automatically came out in front of him. She neared with the dagger in her right hand and grabbed his wrist painfully. She put the tip on his shoulder and pushed. He screamed as the dagger broke skin and sliced into him. Then she started dragging it down his arm in a spiral. Tears started coming down his face faster and his screams were choked with sobs as the pain ripped through him. He felt like he was coming apart. Blood ran down his arm as Emma reached his forearm with the dagger point. She took the dagger out and waited. He convulsed in pain as his muscles spasmed and contracted. The agony was overwhelming, and for a moment he almost blacked out, but his magic brought him back to full coherency. Emma dug the point into a spot next to the first wound and repeated the spiral motion. Rumplestiltskin screamed until his throat was raw, and then he just whimpered and cried. She finished the second spiral and moved the dagger up under his arm to start again. When she pressed the dagger in a third time, Rumplestiltskin found the energy to scream, but it sounded more like an animal than a human. The pain was intense and flooded his senses until he couldn’t think about anything else. His mind was just floating in an abyss of agony as he felt the dagger shred his skin a fourth time. The blood was dripping down his arm onto the floor. His hand was red with all the metallic smelling liquid covering his arm. The pain made him feel surreal, like he was watching himself getting hurt from somewhere else in the world, like his mind was travelling. It just hurt so much, he would do anything to make it stop. The only thing that could make the pain worse was the thought that Emma was causing it. He was so lost in his cries and whimpers that he didn’t notice when she stopped. He just fell to the floor, cradling his arm and crying. He landed in his blood and was suddenly covered in it. His nostrils were filled with the metallic scent combined with his magic and he tried to focus on it. Anything but the pain that was shooting through his right arm.’_

Now he was cradling his right arm as he slumped back against the vinyl seat. He was whimpering almost inaudibly and the sweat was practically pouring off of him. Red finally decided, whatever was happening, needed to stop before anyone else saw and got scared. She touched his shoulder and he jerked away violently.

_‘Emma laughed as he convulsed and squirmed on the floor. She looked down at him with so much hatred he was convinced she couldn’t be Emma. The five spirals on his arm were proof enough for him something had happened. The Savior would never do such a thing._   
_“You aren’t Emma!” he tried to scream, but it only sounded like a broken prayer._   
_“No, indeed I’m not,” the woman said as she shifted._   
_She must have been using a glamour, because it melted away to reveal Zelena standing over him._   
_“Everything I said was true, though,” the witch cackled._   
_“No, no it’s not. My son loved me! Emma doesn’t feel that way. She knows why I did everything I did,” Rumplestiltskin whimpered._   
_“Do you really believe that? How can you think she can see you as anything but a monster? That is all you are after all. A monster and a coward,’” Zelena mocked._   
_“No, I can be more,” Rumplestiltskin argued._   
_Zelena’s form shifted again to show Baelfire._   
_“Hello, Papa,” he said._   
_“Bae? It wasn’t my fault, please!” Rumplestiltskin cried._   
_The imp’s mind was too overwhelmed with pain and grief to think logically about the situation._   
_“It was your fault! You let me go, YOU killed me!” the image of Baelfire accused._   
_“No! Please! I tried to save you, Bae! I love you more than anything,” Rumplestiltskin promised._   
_“Liar! You didn’t love me when you let me go! You’re nothing but a coward. No one loves you, especially not me,” he said solemnly._   
_“Please, Bae! I do love you, so much,” the sorcerer sobbed._   
_The form shifted again, into Henry._   
_“Grandpa?” Henry asked._   
_“H-henry? W-what?” Rumplestiltskin stuttered._   
_“Grandpa! I-it was you!” Henry screamed._   
_“What are y-you talking about?” he muttered tiredly._   
_“It was your fault Dad died! How could you take him from me?” the boy yelled sadly._   
_“No! It WASN’T MY FAULT! Please! It wasn’t my fault,” he whimpered._   
_“Oh, but Rumple, it was your fault,” Zelena hissed as she turned off the light and left the cellar.’_

He jerked away from the hand that touched his arm. He couldn’t do it, not anymore. No more pain. He looked around frantically for an escape. The door was just ahead of him. He stood up and pushed the door open, running into the street to see somewhere safe. He saw his shop and ran over to it,unlocking the door. He pushed it open and collapsed on the floor of the back room, shaking and crying.  
“It wasn’t my fault,” Rumplestiltskin whispered to the floor.  
He felt like he was being choked so he scrambled to take off his tie. His body was heavy and wet, and he felt like he couldn’t move anywhere. He couldn’t run or do anything, he was trapped. Caged. He stripped his pants off and his jacket, waistcoat, and shirt followed it to the floor where his shoes and socks joined the pile. He looked down at his right arm and suddenly felt sick. The five spiral scars were there, looking back at him. It still hurt so much. It was being dulled with magic, but he couldn’t heal it because of the dagger. All the wounds not caused by the dagger would heal without scars, but his arm would always look like that. It would always remind him of how he failed, and ruined everyone else’s lives in the process. It was too much. He grabbed the waist basket and threw up all the tea he had drunk. Rumplestiltskin slumped to the floor, feeling completely hollow and alone. He grabbed a towel and put some water on it to wash off the sweat from his body. He felt so dirty, but he couldn’t get rid of the feeling. Zelena had turned all the people he loved on him, and it hurt. He grabbed his extra suit, realizing he was starting to need those more than ever. He had never had to use his extras before, but now he knew he had to keep an extra in his shop. It was a black suit jacket, waistcoat, and trousers with a dark gray shirt and a light gray and blue swirled tie. He put on different socks and got his dress shoes back on. He hung up the suit he had been wearing previously to be cleaned, if it could be salvaged. Just as he was done, the bell rang.  
“Rumplestiltskin!” Regina yelled as three more pairs of foot steps followed her.  
“No need to scream, dearie,” he chided as he came out from behind the curtain, facade back in place.  
“There is a very big need to scream. We have a problem,” Charming said, slamming the door behind him.  
“I gathered as much when you barged in, but there’s no need to take it out on my little bell,” Rumplestiltskin tisked.  
“I’m going to take something out on your little bell if you don’t stop being a-”  
“I get the idea. What exactly is your problem?” the imp cut off.  
“There are flying monkeys everywhere and Zelena won’t tell us why or how to stop them,” Emma, who he just noticed, said frantically.  
“I’ll see what I can do,” Rumplestiltskin started.  
“What’s your price?” Snow asked before he got a chance to continue.  
Rumplestiltskin smirked.


	8. Fight For Your Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Fine! Deal, just help us."

Chapter 8

“You all collectively owe me one favor,” Rumplestiltskin smirked.  
“Really? There isn’t anything you currently desire?” Regina asked incredulously.  
“Oh, no, there is. I just can’t tell you yet. You might not agree if you know my price,” he said seriously.  
“Why would we agree to owe you a favor if we know we won’t like it?” David asked.  
“Because the only reason you came to me is the same reason you always come to me,” the imp told them.  
“Oh, and do tell us what that is,” Regina snarled.  
“I’m the only one that can fix your problem. A last resort, if you will. I’m not doing a thing until you agree to my deal,” Rumplestiltskin stated.  
“Fine! Deal, just help us,” Emma cut in.  
“Emma! We don’t know what he wants!” her mother cried.  
“He can help us, and we don’t have time to waste,” the Savior argued.  
“Thank you, Miss Swan,” Rumplestiltskin smiled.  
He walked outside where it looked like all hell broke loose. Everyone was trying to get into shops or houses, away from the monkeys. The flying simians were everywhere. They were throwing rocks at people and trying to drag them into the forest. Electricity posts and light poles littered the torn up streets. Cars were overturned and some shops had collapsed.  
“Surely the pests haven’t done all this,” Rumplestiltskin looked at Emma.  
“Right before they all came and started attacking, there was a giant earthquake. How did you not feel it?” Emma asked with a weird look on her face.  
“I was. . . busy,” he said, remembering the episode he had been having.  
“So, how do we stop them?” David asked.  
“We can’t just stop them, dearie. Those are the people of this town. I’m all for knocking them out of the sky, but I do believe you’d all be rather angry at me,” Rumplestiltskin replied.  
“Yes, we would. So what do we do?” Snow asked worriedly.  
“Not ‘we’, me. I need to have a little chat with our resident zookeeper,” he grimaced.  
“Let’s go then,” Regina snapped.  
They were teleported to the mayor’s mansion in a second. Rumplestiltskin got a sick feeling in his stomach, but he pushed it down. Now was not the time to have a problem, he had to focus if he wanted his favor, and a long awaited favor it would be.  
“I need to talk to her alone,” Rumplestiltskin stressed ‘alone’.  
“Why can’t we come with you?” David asked suspiciously.  
“It’s a private chat. Powerful sorcerers only,” the imp smiled.  
“Then I’ll come with you,” Regina said as they walked to the door that led to her basement.  
“I said ‘powerful’,” Rumplestiltskin smirked, and with that he went down the stairs.  
The light was kept on in the basement, and Zelena was reading a Steven King book, though he couldn’t see which one. ‘More than I had.’ Rumplestiltskin thought bitterly. He moved into the light, but she still didn’t look up.  
“I would have knocked but, I didn’t see the point,” Rumplestiltskin said with a terse smile that held nothing but malice.  
“That’s okay, doll. I forgive you,” Zelena replied as she put her book down.  
“Funny,” he scowled.  
“Why did you come to visit me? Need someone to spend time with? I told you that flower would leave you,” the witch teased merrily.  
Rumplestiltskin sneered at the mention of Belle. He sauntered closer to the bars as his heartbeat sped up. He tried to steady his breathing so Zelena wouldn’t notice. Despite the fact that he now had his dagger, Zelena still scared him. He still saw her in his dreams, when he was walking outside, and when something got to him and caused a flashback. It all made it impossible for Rumplestiltskin to forget what she did to him. Sometimes he could swear he saw her walking around a corner, or leaving the diner. He had to convince himself it was all in his head, but now she was right there. He wrapped his fingers around the bars.  
“You know why I’m here. How do I stop the monkeys without hurting the people?” Rumplestiltskin hissed at her.  
Zelena came close to the bars. They were nose to nose and Rumplestiltskin’s heart was trying to beat out of his chest.  
“Why would I tell you that?” Zelena smiled.  
Rumplestiltskin’s hand shot through the bars and wrapped around her throat. He ignored the pain and just looked at Zelena as real fear flashed across her face for the first time since she had been locked up.  
“Because I’ve made a deal with the heroes. Once I stop these monkeys, and I will stop them, I’m going to kill you. I’m going to come back tonight, and you’re going to scream. It’s your choice whether you want to scream long, though,” Rumplestiltskin smiled impishly with sick glee at the thought of the witch’s own words coming back to haunt her.  
“They- th-they, would, cckkk, never. . . make. A. Deal. With. You,” Zelena choked out.  
“They don’t know what they’ve dealt for. All they know is it’s something bad,” he glared at her.  
“F-fine,” she rasped.  
Rumplestiltskin let her go and she dropped to the floor of her cell in a heap. He waited until she got up before grabbing her shirt and pulling her against the bars so she couldn’t run to the back of her cage.  
“Enchant a sword with a form shifting potion and cut them with it. They will be hurt, but if you get the potion and the blood to make contact, it will turn them back,” Zelena said.  
“I’ll be back tonight,” Rumplestiltskin echoed before letting her go once more.  
He stepped out of the basement to be greeted by the heroes awaiting him. He wouldn’t tell them about his price until the monkeys were saved. Then, they wouldn’t be able to argue for long. His son would finally have justice.  
“Well?” Regina snarled.  
“Relax, Your Majesty. I know what we must do. I need swords and to get to my shop,” Rumplestiltskin said.  
David and Snow went off to fetch him swords, and Emma and Regina came back with him to the shop. He gestured for Emma to follow him back, but when Regina tried to follow, he waved her off. He set out the ingredients he would need and looked to Emma.  
“I’m making a form shifting potion, I want you to help me,” Rumplestiltskin said to Emma.  
“What? I’m not very accomplished when it comes to magic, are you sure? I mean, one wrong bippity boppity boo and we all die right?” Emma asked hurriedly.  
“I’ll be right here to watch you. I’ll also be doing most of the work. So, if we all bippity boppity boo out of existence, it’ll be my fault, okay?” Rumplestiltskin smiled teasingly.  
“You are horrible at pep talks,” Emma sighed.  
“I typically leave them to your parents, but we’ll make do,” he said in an offhand voice.  
He started chopping something green and Emma felt like she should be taking notes, but she didn’t want to look like an idiot. He showed her what to do and told her how to help him. Eventually, when they were making their third batch of the potion, they had settled into a comfortable routine.  
“So, have you picked it?” Rumplestiltskin asked conversationally.  
“Picked what?” Emma looked at him confusedly.  
“Your pet name,” he clarified.  
“I-I thought I had, but I want you to pick it. I think I would like it better if you picked it,” Emma decided.  
“Okay, then. I know already,” Rumplestiltskin looked at her coyly.  
“What is it?” she asked nervously.  
“You’ll find out when I use it,” he smirked.  
“Such a tease,” Emma poked him in the side, and he didn’t flinch.  
“Hypocrite.”  
“Maybe just a little.”  
“What’s with all the chit-chat?Shouldn’t you two be working?” Regina called.  
“Yes, mother, we’ll get right on it,” Rumplestiltskin called back.  
“Shut it, imp, and just work,” she yelled at him.  
“Yes, mummy,” he replied with a smirk.  
Emma snickered at them and continued to work. He smiled slightly and realized he hadn’t thought about Zelena once. He was completely relaxed in the Savior’s company.  
“And. . . done!” Emma said enthusiastically.  
“Great. Your parents are outside with the swords and some extra people. Let’s get the enchantment administered,” Rumplestiltskin said as he bottled some of the potion.  
They hurried out, taking Regina with them. There was a pile of swords in the middle of the street and some arrows as well. Emma and Rumplestiltskin poured the potion over the tips of all the weapons.  
“Okay. Just nick them. Only a little blood is required for the spell to take hold,” Rumplestiltskin reminded, summoning his own sword and pouring some of the potion over it.  
It was a sword made by his own hand in the Enchanted Forest. The hilt was that of a golden dragon with its wings spread as the handles. The blade sprouted up from behind the dragon’s head. It was pitch black metal with golden snakes curling down to the hilt, the tails starting at the tip of the sword. It had taken a very long time to make, but it was an unbreakable sword.  
“Where did THAT come from?” David asked, looking a little jealous.  
“I made it a long time ago,” Rumplestiltskin said euphorically.  
The monkeys started coming down only seconds later. The dwarves, Red, the Charmings, and several of the townsfolk grabbed swords. Granny grabbed a few arrows for her crossbow and started aiming. There were multiple battles going on everywhere on the street, but people were helping each other out. A few of the monkeys were hit. Rumplestiltskin waited to see if the potion worked, and as he watched, they started to transform.  
David was battling three monkeys at once. One came at him from behind, but he turned and tried to nick it on the leg. The monkey pushed back and flew up a little higher, avoiding the blade. The other two monkeys came at him at the same time. The left one’s claws hit his sword and the right one’s bit into his right shoulder. He grunted in pain but pushed the first monkey back and sliced across both of their stomachs. The monkeys fell to the ground and started to transform.  
Snow had her bow slung over her shoulder in case she needed it, but was currently fighting one of the larger monkeys with her sword. It swooped down on her and she slashed at its arm, but missed when it moved to the right. It flew at her face and used its tail to swipe at her. She used her blade to catch the monkey on its tail. It collapsed with an agonizing screech as it started to transform. It looked suspiciously like Little John. She suddenly wondered if maybe Robin was one too. Nobody had seen him in a while and Roland and Regina were missing him more and more. Suddenly she heard Grumpy say something and turned to see a monkey flying at her husband from behind while he watched two of them turn into humans in front of him. Snow took up her bow and grabbed an arrow. Taking a deep breath, she fired right in front of the monkey. It flew right into it and the arrow stuck into its side.  
“Snow?” David turned around surprised.  
“You should really watch your flank, Charming,” Snow chided.  
“Nah, that’s your job,” he grinned cheekily.  
Grumpy and Bashful were aimlessly swing swords at the passing monkeys that were flying around them. They had hit a few, but there were more and more monkeys coming out of nowhere. Grumpy swung at another monkey, but it quickly moved out of reach. He turned around just in time to see Charming about to get attacked by a monkey.  
“Watch out!” Grumpy yelled.  
Red really wasn’t very into using swords, she would have preferred just eating the monkeys. It probably would have saved them time, but apparently the monkeys were people. She really missed the days when she was the weirdest thing in her village. Granny was very handy with that crossbow, though. Sally the Slayer, as she dubbed it, was taking down monkeys left and right. Red snickered at the thought of those poor people. They would most likely be very sore when they woke up. The momentary distraction provided enough time for a monkey to fly down and sink its claws into the waitress’ back. She yelped and swung her sword clumsily. Luckily, it hit the monkey in the shoulder.  
“YES!” Red yelled happily, while her granny gave her an odd look.  
Emma readied her sword for the next attack. She had been taking down every monkey she could find and the bunch was definitely getting smaller. She swung at the next one that came down, missing, but pushing it back. Two more came down and she was suddenly fighting three at once. They were all attacking her at the same time and she was getting overwhelmed. Suddenly, a black blade came down on the monkey at her back, then the one on her shoulder, then the one in front of her. Rumplestiltskin stood smirking when she looked up. If they weren’t in the middle of a battle, she would have punched him.  
“I had that,” Emma growled.  
“I’m well aware,” he replied smoothly.  
They stood back to back, slashing at the monkeys who came close. Emma had to admit, they made an unstoppable team. Together, they took down the rest of the monkeys who had flocked towards them. When they were done, they looked around to see if there were more. It looked like all the monkeys had been transformed into humans, though.  
“Well done everyone!” David started.  
“Wait!” Rumplestiltskin held up his right hand, sword still in his left, as he looked at all the people.  
“What is it?” Emma asked curiously.  
“They aren’t waking up. There’s still magic in them,” Rumplestiltskin pointed to the nearest person.  
It was true, none of them were moving. They all laid there exactly how they fell. Not even a twitch came from a single one of the victims.  
“Are they dead?” Grumpy asked obnoxiously.  
“Shut up,” Rumplestiltskin said calmly.  
“I don’t have to listen to you!” the dwarf shouted.  
“I said shut up! Don’t you hear that?” Rumplestiltskin asked.  
Apparently no one else could hear what he was hearing. He listened to it, like the flow of water. Suddenly, Emma grabbed his arm. He looked up and saw her nodding to him. Then, dark green smoke came out of the mouths of the previous monkeys. It all came together in a cloud above the street, swirling and moving around.  
“Well, dearest, looks like the fight isn’t over,” Rumplestiltskin sighed to Emma in a whisper.  
“Dearest?” Emma quirked an eyebrow.  
“Do you like it?” he asked, unsure.  
“Yah, I do,” Emma’s skeptical look split into a grin.  
The smoke cloud spiraled onto the street and took the form of something unrecognizable. At first, Rumplestiltskin thought it was an animal, then he realized it was moving to imitate a demon. It looked human from the waist up, but it had human sized dove wings and a lower body that looked almost reptile with its scaled skin and clawed feet. When it was done forming, its color became visible and the green smoke dissipated.  
“What the heck is that?!” one of the dwarves shouted.  
Rumplestiltskin recognized it as more of Zelena’s magic. She didn’t make it, though, she must have summoned it. He sized it up and decided a sword wouldn’t work for that creature. Only a very, very powerful weapon could defeat it. Like a certain magical dagger in Rumplestiltskin’s shop.  
“Get all the people out of the streets!” Rumplestiltskin yelled at everyone else.  
When Emma turned to help, though, he pulled her back.  
“I need your help,” he told her  
“With a demon?!” Emma asked incredulously.  
“You remember that magic chalk we used against Cora?” the imp asked quickly.  
“Uh, yah,” she said.  
“Go get it,” Rumplestiltskin ordered.  
He followed her into his shop, but instead of going to a shelf, he got on his knees behind the counter. He removed the floorboard and glamour covering the safe. He put the combination in and put his thumb to the lock. Then, he quickly removed all of the hexes and spells he put around the safe and opened it. Rumplestiltskin removed the second glamour and saw his dagger laying in the safe. He carefully picked it up. His name was engraved on the side facing him, and there was dried blood in the groves. He scrunched up his nose and told himself he would clean his blood off later.  
“Got it!” Emma yelled.  
“Okay, listen carefully. I’m going out there to fight the demon before it destroys the town. You are not going to help me fight it. Push aside your hero complex for just a moment and use the chalk to draw a line around the demon and me. When I’m done with it make sure no one steals my dagger, I’m going to be drained,” Rumplestiltskin instructed.  
He started walking through the shop, but stopped when Emma called him. He turned to see a worried expression on her face.  
“Can it kill you?” Emma asked.  
“No, not really,” Rumplestiltskin answered.  
“What does that mean?”  
“Well, it can put me in a coma if it injures me bad enough.”  
Making up her mind, Emma walked towards him and planted herself in front of him. She wrapped her left hand around his tie and pulled him into a kiss. For just a second, the world and all of its problems went away, and it was just them. Then it ended. She pulled back without a word and walked out the door. Rumplestiltskin just stood there for a moment with his mouth hanging slightly open. His brain had short circuited as soon as she grabbed his tie. Then he remembered he had a plan and was supposed to be doing something. He walked out the door in a slight haze until he saw the demon; that snapped him out of it. He walked briskly in front of it, cutting it off as it walked towards everyone. Thankfully, they had listened to him and started moving people out of the street. He didn’t really care what happened to them, but he didn’t want to trip over one of them and look like a fool. Rumplestiltskin got the demon’s attention and its head snapped towards the sorcerer. The demon hissed and moved towards him. Rumplestiltskin drew his magic in and shaped it with his mind. He made an invisible rope and threw it around the demon. It screeched as the magic made contact with its skin, but it was trapped.  
“Emma! Now!” Rumplestiltskin yelled.  
The Savior used the chalk to draw a large circle around the two. She was much better at it this time, he noted. If the demon really wanted to escape, it probably could, but hopefully its attention would be on him. Most of the people were out of the street now, and those not helping were gathering around the invisible barrier. They were all staring at him like they couldn’t believe Rumplestitskin was trying to save them. He supposed it did sound a little strange.  
The demon broke free of Rumplestiltskin’s magic and used its wings to fly backwards. Dark magic practically leaked off of it as it moved, sizing him up. He threw a long shard of magic at the demon, hoping he could bait it to use its magic. It worked, and although the shard didn’t hit its mark, the demon seemed angered by the attack. It expelled a wave of raw energy that flooded the circle they were stuck in. Rumplestiltskin used his magic to shield himself from the attack. The demon hissed in rage and threw a shard of magic at him. He pushed it away with his own magic but wasn’t fast enough to stop the second shard from embedding itself in his side. He hissed in pain and pulled the shard out of his now bleeding side. It disappeared in his hand when he pulled it out, but the wound on his side was still bleeding profusely. His right side was still sensitive from the broken ribs so it was really bothering him. Rumplestiltskin stabilized the wound with magic, but he couldn’t take the time to heal it. The demon snarled out a laugh and threw another shard at the sorcerer. Rumplestiltskin blocked it and sent back a fireball. The demon caught it in its clawed feet and threw it back at him with a lot of extra magic. Rumplestiltskin put up a shield against the demon’s dark magic, but his fireball got through the shield. He turned so that it hit only his left shoulder. It burned into his flesh, and for a moment, Rumplestiltskin thought of Zelena. The pain quickly brought him out of his memory, though. Distantly, he thought he heard someone say his name, but he dismissed the idea. Gathering his magic in his right hand, he centered his focus and threw a blade shaped shard at the demon. Following up on the attack, he threw several fireballs. The demon caught the shard, but was then hit with all the fire. It screeched in pain and glared at Rumplestiltskin. It summoned it's dark magic, aiming at the sorcerer, and let go of the spell. It was only slightly more complex than the previous spells, but it was able to cut through the temporary shield that had been put up. It hit Rumplestiltskin full force, sending him to his knees. The magic ripped through him, making him bleed from several places. This time he could definitely hear someone calling his name. He looked over his shoulder to see Emma almost on top of the barrier. He quirked the side of his mouth, trying to reassure her. When he stood up, he almost wished he had stayed down. His left leg was burned and bleeding from the knee down. There was a large cut running from the bottom of his ribs to his leg. He stumbled in pain and gasped when he felt a deeper wound on his left side. He looked down to see what looked like a knife wound in his side. Rumplestiltskin’s right knee felt almost numb and he switched his focus to it seeing nothing but blood. He needed to focus on the demon, though. He channeled magic through his body so that he could keep fighting. The demon gave him a toothy smile and sent what looked like a dagger at him. Using his own dagger in his left hand, he deflected the spell. Rumplestiltskin knew he needed the demon closer if he was going to stab it. He teleported to the other side of the circle where the demon once more sent a knife through the air. Rumplestiltskin teleported again, away from the knife. The spells continued to follow him around the cage as he moved. The demon was looking tired, but Rumplestiltskin was about to collapse. He decided to try a different tactic: standing still. The demon let out a loud hiss and just let its magic pour off of it. The magic spilled from it around the cage. Rumplestiltskin wanted to move, but he just stayed still, hoping to bait the demon. The darkness hit him, and he finally screamed. It tore his body in multiple places, and he fell. A wound appeared on his right arm, gaping open at his bicep. His left thigh looked like it had been run through with a sword, and his back felt like a scratching post for a lion. His chest was on fire and felt like it had been burned horribly, and his face had a couple of deep cuts over his cheek and over his left eye. The demon swooped down and landed in front of him kicking his right side. He heard a sick crunching noise and realized his ribs were broken once again. Rumplestiltskin groaned as the demon laughed, but he tightened the grip he had on his dagger until his knuckles turned white. While the demon was laughing, he quickly stood, hissing in immense pain, and brought the dagger down over its chest. He pushed with all the energy he had left and brought the demon to the ground with him. Smiling at its shocked expression, Rumplestiltskin twisted the dagger and watched the demon scream. It screeched and screeched, and then it started disintegrating. The demon turned into a pile of ash as he laid there. Rumplestiltskin stood on shaking legs and turned around, using magic to get rid of the barrier. Stumbling over to Emma he leaned on her and looked out at the crowd. Everyone was staring back at him in surprise and it almost made him smile, almost. Looking at Emma once more, he collapsed to the ground as his eyes rolled back in pain. He must have blacked out for a few seconds, because when he opened his eyes, Emma was kneeling over him attempting to take his shirt off.  
“What. . . are, you. Doing?” Rumplestiltskin choked out between ragged breaths.  
“I need to heal you. You’re bleeding out,” Emma said frantically.  
“Okay, but don’t take my shirt off,” he agreed, taking her wrist in his hand.  
“Now is not the time to be self-conscious!” Emma berated.  
“I’m not being self-conscious, but you can heal me without taking my clothes off,” Rumplestiltskin said.  
Looking only slightly irked, Emma began to focus, trying to channel her magic into him. She was doing a job with healing him, and in a few seconds, he could feel his wounds healing. The wounds on his arms and legs were healed, as well as the ones on his face. Before she could heal the wounds on his back, chest, and sides, though, she felt a thick hand on her arm.  
“Maybe you shouldn’t, sister,” Leroy suggested.  
“What do you mean?” Emma asked.  
“We could take his dagger now and then we wouldn’t have to worry about him anymore,” the dwarf said as though it was obvious.  
“He’s right. We could. It would take care of a lot of our problems,” Regina agreed.  
David looked like he agreed, but he didn’t say anything. Rumplestiltskin grabbed Emma’s right arm with his left hand. He didn’t say anything, but he didn’t have to. Emma’s heart broke at the look in his eyes. He was scared. It was the side of him he never let anyone see, and he only showed her. He looked like a caged animal, scared to be whipped. The fear in his eyes poured into her and she knew she was the only person he could depend on.  
“No. I can’t believe you could even suggest something like that. He just saved us all. Twice! And you want to cage him?” Emma yelled incredulously.  
“Come on, Emma. He’s always making things harder. We could fix that, permanently. No more deals. When we needed help, he would just have to give it to us,” David said finally.  
Emma looked at her father in horror, and was relieved to see Snow did too. Rumplestiltskin looked like he wanted to run, but he was still too weak to move. He had shifted his left arm so that the dagger was trapped between it and his chest. He was pleading Emma with his eyes. She could tell he didn’t want to say anything out loud, but he was scared. Suddenly, Red knelt down next to Emma, and Rumplestiltskin jerked to the side, clearly trying to get away from her. Red put her hand on his right leg to keep him from moving.  
“It’s not right to take his dagger. It’s not right to take control of someone,” Red raised her voice for everyone to hear.  
The apprehensive look in Rumplestiltskin’s eyes lessened, but was still there. Then, the wolf’s attention shifted to his right arm, and her eyebrows drew together. She lifted his arm gently and pushed back the torn fabric of his sleeve. Gasping, she cleared away some of the blood to see the spiraling scars on his arm. Emma and Red simultaneously looked at him and he looked to the side, avoiding their eyes.  
“I saw him in the diner a bit ago. He was staring out the window in a sort of haze, cradling this arm,” Red told Emma.  
“Rum, what’s wrong with your arm? Why can’t I heal it?” Emma said as she tried.  
“You can’t heal it, so don’t try,” Rumplestiltskin said sadly.  
“But why?” Red questioned.  
“The wound was inflicted by the dagger. You can’t heal it,” he repeated.  
“The dagger, but. . .” Emma trailed off, looking at Red.  
“Yes,” the imp confirmed.  
“Zelena?” Red whispered so no one but the three of them could hear.  
Rumplestiltskin averted his gaze, but he nodded. Emma pursed her lips and looked at her wolf friend.  
“Please don’t tell anyone. It’s not their business,” Rumplestiltskin muttered quietly.  
“Okay. You’re right, it is none of their business,” Red agreed.  
Rumplestiltskin looked surprised, but grateful. He nodded at her and a small smile flicked across his face. Emma and Red smiled back at him, and Emma finished healing him. Everyone else was standing around them, just out of earshot, but still watching the exchange. Rumplestiltskin motioned for Emma and Red to help him up. Each of them put an arm around him and helped him stand. He would have fallen back down if it weren’t for the two of them as the blood rushed to his head and his muscles screamed in protest. A small moan escaped him and he really hoped no one heard.  
“Can you teleport to your house?” Red asked.  
“I think that right now, that would be a very poor decision,” Rumplestiltskin admitted.  
The thought of using magic at that point made him nauseous. There was somewhere he needed to be, though.  
“I need to go ask Zelena what the hell all of that was, though. Care to join me?” Rumplestiltskin asked.  
“Yah. I want to know how she managed all that while she’s down in the mayor’s basement,” Emma said angrily.  
So, with the help of Emma and Red, Rumplestiltskin walked down the street towards Regina’s house with the Charmings and the owner of the house in tow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed the chapter! My good friend Reagan found a song that she said fit this fanfiction perfectly, so I thought I would share it with everyone just for kicks. 'On My Own' by Ashes Remain. I'll try to get the next chapter out as soon as I can. Thanks for reading!


	9. Choose Your Battles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "No. I want to kill her."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry I haven't updated in a while. I'm trying to keep a constant schedule, but I've been busy. I hope you enjoy the chapter!

Chapter 9

Rumplestiltskin was doing everything in his power to keep himself in check. As soon as they got to Regina’s house, he wanted to throw the favor up in the air and smile maliciously while he killed Zelena. After everything she had done, she should have died sooner, but as long as she died, he would be happy. So, with an inhuman amount of patience, he waited for them to get to the house. He was thankful for Red and Emma by his side. Even if he would lose them soon, he was thankful that they would at least keep his secret.  
“How much did Zelena hurt you?” Red asked Rumplestiltskin in a whisper.  
“Torture, you mean,” he replied venimously.  
“Yah, that,” the wolf confirmed.  
“A lot,” the imp said shortly.  
They reached Regina’s house with no more words exchanged. Walking in, Rumplestiltskin prepared himself for the impending argument. He didn’t know how he was going to go about it, but he wouldn’t leave until Zelena breathed her last breath.  
“Wait,” Rumplestiltskin said evenly.  
Red and Emma stopped and he slipped his arms from around their shoulders, leaning on the wall next to the basement door. Regina, David, and Snow came in and stood in front of the door, waiting.  
“After we question Zelena, I’m calling in my favor,” the imp stated, very finally.  
“Couldn’t you have told us that afterwards?” Regina asked impatiently, “I want to find out if Robin was turned into a monkey or not.”  
“It has to do with Zelena,” Rumplestiltskin told them.  
He could swear Emma stopped breathing. ‘So she gets it.’ He knew. She was just waiting with a pleading look in her eyes. The kiss resurfaced in his mind, and it gave him pause. Maybe, just maybe, he had finally found a chance, a chance he never had. If he did this, there was no way to get Emma back. ‘Maybe that’s better for both of us.’  
“What do you mean? You need her help with something?” David asked all too innocently.  
“No. I want to kill her,” Rumplestiltskin deadpanned.  
There was a gasp from Snow, a growl from Regina, and David’s mouth dropped open. Red and Emma just looked at each other and closed their eyes with their heads hung.  
“You cannot kill her!” Regina yelled.  
“Why?” Rumplestiltskin snorted, “Because she’s your sister?”  
“Because killing is wrong,” she shot back.  
“Oh, that’s rich, coming from you!” he accused.  
“I’m being better!” the queen defended.  
“Why are you trying? For your son? Well, I’m doing this for MY son,” Rumplestiltskin explained.  
“Revenge isn’t the answer,” Snow said sweetly.  
“HA! So, you’re telling me that if she had killed Henry she would be locked up down there? No, no, no. You would all be lined up to torture her,” the imp figured.  
“It’s not right. Killing is evil,” David prodded.  
“You’ve fought wars, shepherd. Tell me, what do you do in a war?” Rumplestiltskin asked.  
“That’s different. Those men and women sign up to fight, to die,” the prince said defensively.  
“Zelena signed up to die the moment she even dared LOOK at my son. She was already dead when she killed him!”  
“We have her locked up. That’s punishment enough,” Snow said.  
“Locked up? I’ve lost my son. She DESERVES to be killed.”  
“Look, we know what it’s like to lose a child. It hurts, but revenge is wrong,” Charming put his arm around Snow as he spoke.  
“Shut up! You haven’t lost a child! You got her back! You knew you would see her again! And for almost the entire time, you didn’t even know she existed! I LET HIM GO! I’VE BEEN LOOKING FOR HIM FOR CENTURIES, AND NOW HE’S DEAD! I DON’T GET TO SEE HIM AGAIN! HE’S GONE AND THE PERSON RESPONSIBLE IS STILL ALIVE!” Rumplestiltskin’s self control snapped as tears streamed down his face.  
“We know how you-” Snow started.  
“Don’t even try! You know nothing of my pain. My precious baby boy is gone! Forever! I never get to see him again, and he hated me for centuries! Do you know where I was when he was buried?” he yelled.  
“I-” David tried to butt in.  
“I was on the ground in a dirty cage crying! I was chained like an animal! My magic was still connected to him! I felt every lump of dirt that landed ON HIS COFFIN! Zelena used my dagger to make my tears cause me physical pain! So don’t even try to tell me you understand, because if you did, it would break you! A piece of you dies with your child, a piece you can’t get back. It feels like the world falls away and there is nothing left but the pain. You know, deep down, that there was something you could have done, and your child will never smile again because you didn’t do it. Baelfire was my reason for living. It wasn’t his fault he was my son, the son of a coward. He was the bravest person I ever met, he was perfect to me. Everyone has flaws, but Bae’s heart was perfect. He didn’t deserve what he got. My beautiful little boy is never going to talk to me again because I let him go. My little boy is never going to smile again because that green wench killed him. So, if you don’t let me kill her, I don’t care what has to happen to get to her. I don’t care if the sun freezes over, or if time stops, or if we all explode. I don’t care if I have to cross realms, or if I have to move mountains, because I’m going to kill her, and I’m going to smile. I swear to any god in existence that no matter what happens, if I lose my magic or my life, I’m going to kill Zelena, and then I’ll laugh,” Rumplestiltskin told them all.  
Everyone was stunned into silence by that. Not a one of them could argue with him over that. So they all just stood there and looked at him, and waited. Rumplestiltskin wiped the tears away from his eyes fiercely and evened out his breathing.  
“I’m going to go down there, I’m going to get my answers. Then, I’ll come up and tell you all. You’re going to let me be when I go down a second time, and when I come back up, you can do whatever you want with me,” Rumplestiltskin explained solemnly.  
No one said anything, so he descended the stairs, stopping on the last one so he could compose himself. He rounded the corner to see Zelena laying on her bed, reading the same book she had been earlier. It made him sick to see her smiling.  
“Zelena!” he yelled at her as he briskly walked up to the bars of her cell.  
“Oh, you don’t look well, Rumple,” the witch smirked, though he saw a hint of fear in her eyes.  
Rumplestiltskin was well aware he looked positively animal. His clothes were ripped and his body was covered in blood. His face was dirty and there were probably tear tracks marking it. He must have had a vicious gleam in his eyes, because for once, the witch kept her distance.  
“Time to answer questions, you red-headed pickle,” Rumplestiltskin snarled.  
“Such hostility, pet,” she smiled at him.  
“Shut it! Give me my answers! How did you use magic? How did you turn the people into flying monkeys and summon the demon?” he asked.  
“Dear, dear, why give away my secrets?” Zelena walked closer to the bars, but just out of arm's reach.  
“For the same reason you gave them earlier. I’ve made my deal with the heroes. Unlike some idiots who fancy dragging their kills out, I just want you dead. I don’t really care how long it lasts,” the imp hissed.  
“I’m not dead yet, Rumple. Go back upstairs and you’ll get some answers,” she pointed to the stairs.  
“Oh? And why can’t you tell me?” he barked.  
“It’s rather hard to explain,” Zelena pouted.  
“No, it’s not,” Rumplestiltskin guessed.  
“Fine, I just don’t want to. Go upstairs and get your answers,” she said, turning away and going back to the bed.  
“Fine. But I’m coming back down afterwards.”  
“Oh, I’m counting on it, darling.”  
With one last snarl, Rumplestiltskin headed back up the stairs. When he got to the top, everyone was staring at him somewhat hesitantly. He just stood there and waited, figuring she was just playing around with him. Then, the wall exploded. The front wall, right above the door, just exploded as four large monkeys flew in.  
“I thought we took care of them!” Emma shouted.  
One of the monkeys landed in front of the human group. It waited for its fellow monkeys to land behind it before making a move. It shifted and squirmed, and then started morphing. Its face and body twisted and became human. A man with long, stringy, brown hair and lanky limbs stood in front of them in a matter of seconds.  
“Walsh?” Emma spoke again.  
“You know him?” David asked.  
“Yah. He’s my ex-fiance,” the Savior noted all the questioning looks, “Long story, and I was cursed.”  
“Hello, Emma. I know you’re all confused, but let me explain,” Walsh held his hands up.  
“Well, don’t let me stop you,” Regina sneered.  
“There are some of us who prefer working for Zelena, and some of us who don’t have a choice. I’m only following orders,” he said.  
“How are you getting your orders?” Snow asked.  
“I can’t tell you that,” the former monkey whispered sadly, looking a little guilty.  
“Why are you here?” Rumplestiltskin asked calmly.  
“For her,” Walsh said.  
He morphed back it a monkey, and, quicker than thought, the four winged simians were in the air. They dived for the group and pushed everyone to the ground. After a lot of screeching and howling, the monkeys were able to grab their target: Emma. They gripped her arms and legs as she fought against them with everything she had.  
“Rumplestiltskin, do something!” David yelled.  
“I don’t have enough energy yet!” the imp in question groaned from the ground.  
The impact had vividly reminded him of how hurt he still was. He distantly heard someone shouting and saw a ball of fire come from somewhere. The monkeys were already gone, though. Rumplestiltskin unsteadily got to his feet and looked at everyone’s stunned faces.  
“Get her back!” Charming grabbed Rumplestiltskin by the lapels and pushed him against a wall.  
“I can’t right now! I need to gather my strength!” Rumplestiltskin told him loudly.  
“We need to go after them NOW!” the prince shouted.  
“I know YOU are used to fighting when the odds are stacked against you, but there is a very fine line between brave and stupid. Going after Emma now would be reckless. Despite what you may think, just swing swords won’t get the job done,” Rumplestiltskin snarled.  
“It’s always worked before!” David said angrily.  
“That’s because your wife is the brain of your operation. Strategy beats brute strength every time,” the imp told him.  
“We don’t have time for strategy! Stop being a coward!”  
At that, Rumplestiltskin pushed the shepherd back forcefully. He had been called a coward for his whole life, but it never got any easier. Now, the woman he lo- liked, was on the line, and Charming couldn’t pull that on him, even if Rumplestiltskin agreed with him.  
“No! I’m not a coward for being careful. I’m smart. I know YOU think dying for anyone who needs your help is a sign of bravery, but we’re no good to her DEAD! This isn’t an ‘it’s the thought that counts’ battle. This is Emma’s life! We need to plan carefully, and we can start with asking Zelena where they are,” Rumplestiltskin shouted back.  
“Fine. Let’s go do that,” David acquiesced.  
Rumplestiltskin, David, Snow, Red, and Regina walked down to the basement to see Zelena smiling at them all. She was standing with her back against the wall and her arms crossed over her chest.  
“Time to talk,” the witch smirked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please, tell me what you thought. If there is anything you think I should add, I'm happy to take suggestions. Thanks for reading!


	10. Fight For What You Can't Have

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Being alone is only scary because there's a part of yourself you hate. If there wasn't, you wouldn't need other people."

Chapter 10

“I swear to all things in existence, if you don’t tell me where Emma was taken, I will squeeze it out of you,” David rushed up to the bars of the cage with Snow right behind him.  
Rumplestiltskin snorted and started laughing mirthlessly. Thinking of the situation, he almost felt guilty for laughing. . . almost. When he calmed down, he looked at the five people staring at him.  
“What is wrong with you?” Regina snarled.  
“What’s wrong with me? You all just chastised me about wanting to get justice for my son. Now, only minutes later, you are ALL lined up down her to throttle the witch,” Rumplestiltskin stared at them accusingly.  
Snow and Charming looked down, seeing the truth in his statement, but not Regina. Of course not Regina, why would she lower herself to the level of empathy?  
“We aren’t planning on killing her, just getting an answer out of her,” Regina said defiantly.  
Red was wisely standing off to the side, not wanting to get involved in the conversation. In the last few hours, she had found out more about Rumplestiltskin than she had known in years, and to be honest, she was inclined to side with him.  
“Herocrites,” Rumplestiltskin murmured under his breath.  
It was quickly becoming one of his favorite words. He didn’t know when he started caring about how the heroes saw him, but the more he thought about, the angrier he got.  
“What was that?” Regina asked.  
“Nothing of importance,” Rumplestiltskin replied.  
The Charmings shot him one last glance before refocusing on Zelena who had been watching on in interest. Regina came over to the bars as well, glaring daggers at her sister. When Red moved to stand with them, Rumplestiltskin moved his hand in front of her arm and slightly shook his head. She gave him a questioning glance, but he just shook his head again. The she-wolf stepped back and stayed next to the imp.  
“So, where is Emma?” Snow growled.  
“It’s not everything for nothing, darling,” Zelena said almost airily, like she was having fun.  
“What do you want?” David asked cautiously.  
“I-”  
“Before you continue, don’t be foolish and ask for freedom, that would be stretching a tad,” Rumplestiltskin interjected, giving the witch an icy glare.  
“I want protection. I want your word that you won’t let Rumplestiltskin harm me,” Zelena bargained.  
“Done,” Snow, David, and Regina said in unison.  
“No! Even if you were capable of keeping me away from her, that would break your deal. No one breaks deals with me,” Rumplestiltskin disagreed immediately.  
“Then the deal is struck,” Zelena completely ignored the imp and mocked him with his own words.  
“Where is our daughter?” David asked forcefully.  
“Now, now, dear, don’t trip over your sword. She’s been taken down in the mines near the Toll Bridge,” the witch smiled.  
“The mines? The monkeys can’t fly down there, it doesn’t make any sense,” Snow replied.  
“That’s why it’s the perfect place to keep her. And I assure you, there’s plenty of space,” Zelena grinned at them while Rumplestiltskin seethed behind the three.  
“If this doesn’t work, we’re coming back,” Regina glared.  
“I’m quite sure you will. Oh, and to save Emma, I would recommend not using the same spell, they’ll just turn back into monkeys,” Zelena advised.  
All five turned to leave, Red going first as Snow, David, and Regina followed her, when they heard Zelena’s sing-song voice following them.  
“I’d love a moment alone with Rumple, if you wouldn’t mind,” she said happily.  
Rumplestiltskin walked into the middle of the room and stared at her. If looks could kill, she would have been turned to ash. He waited impatiently for her to speak.  
“How does it feel?” Zelena asked.  
He knew full well what she was asking, but he didn’t want to touch on the subject. The closest he had come to trusting someone lately was when he asked for Emma and Red to keep his secret.  
“Whatever do you mean?” he feigned ignorance.  
“Come now, Rumple. Your only child is laying in a wooden box buried under piles of dirt, and the person who put him there is cozy and safe. Your new lover is currently kidnapped by HER former lover, and I’m going to go out on a limb and guess no one knows you’re having problems,” Zelena said the last part while twirling her finger around her temple.  
All that was true, and it made him practically explode that she was reveling in it. But, the part that caught him off guard, was what she said about Emma. At his shocked expression, she just laughed.  
“When you fall, Rumple, you fall hard. Your heart was practically bleeding from your eyes when you came down here,” the witch smirked.  
“I WILL kill you Zelena. As soon as I get around the heroes, I’m coming for you,” he sneered.  
“Why not just kill me now? They couldn’t stop you,” Zelena said, then noted the look in his eyes, “Oooh, you want it to be clean? ‘By the book’ so that you can keep Emma? You want her to see it as justice and not vengeance? Hate to break it to you, but you’ll lose her, just like Belle.”  
“You don’t know what will happen. That’s why I’m doing this the way I am. Because no one can say for sure what Emma will choose,” Rumplestiltskin hated the way the words fell from his lips, like a plea to fate.  
“Oh, Rumple. Fourth time’s the charm isn’t how it works,” Zelena smiled.  
Rumplestiltskin spun on his heel and walked up the stairs into the main room where the wall had blown open. He looked at the four people who were standing outside, waiting.  
“What did she want?” David asked.  
“It’s not important,” Rumplestiltskin said as he walked past David.  
They unanimously decided that they would head to Granny’s to restock their weapons supply. There, they would inform Henry, who had been left at the diner during the battle, of his mother’s kidnapping. They had to lock him in when they went to fight the monkeys because he most certainly would have tried to pick up a sword. Now, however, if the boy asked, Rumplestiltskin would let him tag along. Rumplestiltskin blamed himself for what happened to Emma. If only he hadn’t been so WEAK, he could have kept her from being kidnapped. She believed in him, and she thought he could protect her. All at once, two different memories surfaced in his mind and reminded him yet again, Emma now held his heart. He hadn’t meant to lean on her quite so much. He wanted to be able to truthfully claim that she had nothing over him, but he couldn’t. If she asked him to jump, there would be but a moment's hesitation. The first memory that came to mind was that kiss. He couldn’t stop thinking of it. No one knew they were even spending time together, and now she had kissed him! The second memory that flashed in his mind’s eye was the look of horror on her face when he voiced his favor. She looked like she would have begged him not to kill Zelena had they been alone. She could very well hate him when they found her. She could discard him like the piece of trash everyone kept telling him he was.  
While Rumplestiltskin was deep in thought, there was a conversation going on several paces behind him. Red was walking closer to him, but Snow, David, and Regina were walking further back. They were huddled rather close together as they conversed, trying to seem casual.  
“How the hell are we going to keep the deranged imp from killing my sister?” Regina asked in a hushed voice.  
“I don’t know if we can, but he did say we could do whatever we want with him once he was finished with Zelena. We could cage him,” David suggested.  
“Like he would go into a cage quietly,” Regina scowled.  
“We could get his dagger,” David countered.  
“How do you suggest we do that?” the queen asked with a raised brow.  
“We could just figure it out. Belle might even help, I heard the split was pretty bad,” the prince said.  
“Since when did you start listening in on the gossip?” Snow asked him quietly.  
“I don’t usually. I wouldn’t normally be for caging someone either, though. Rumplestiltskin isn’t a person, the same rules don’t apply to him,” David reasoned.  
“What if Regina and Emma used their light magic to trap him? We could ask the fairies to help as well. Surely he can’t withstand all that,” Snow said looking up at the man in question who was still oblivious to the conversation.  
“That might work,” Regina said thoughtfully.  
“But will Emma agree to it?” David thought aloud.  
“If she doesn’t agree, we’ll just get the dagger,” Regina said.  
All three nodded. They now had plan A and plan B. Snow was uneasy about all of it, though. She didn’t agree with the way her husband saw Rumplestiltskin: as a monster devoid of humanity. The same rules DID apply to him, didn’t they? What they were doing was no better than what Zelena did, right? ‘But he’s dangerous.’ She needed to keep reminding herself that. Rumplestiltskin had practically wrestled with fate to keep Snow and her prince together, and they were planning on caging him. . . again.  
They reached Granny’s in a matter of minutes, all readying themselves for the talk with Henry. When they walked through the door, they saw a lot of the townspeople there with their newly returned family members. It already felt like the battle that had worn Rumplestiltskin down had happened ages ago. Now, with the new pressing matter, it felt even further away.  
“Oh, thank the Lord you’re here,” Granny said as she jogged up.  
Rumplestiltskin distantly wondered if the old widow was religious. His mind snapped back into focus, though, when he saw the worried look on her face.  
“What is it?” David cut in before Rumplestiltskin could get a word out.  
“Not long after you guys left some people came in and took Henry. When they got outside, they turned into flying monkeys!” Granny said confusedly.  
“Which way did they go?” Snow asked urgently.  
“Over there,” Granny pointed in the general direction of the Toll Bridge.  
“Mrs. Lucas, I’m going to need you to gather food and water and put them in a bag. Then, go get swords and a bow for Snow White. Give it to us and try to keep the townspeople from panicking,” Rumplestiltskin said in his most authoritative voice.  
He knew in his current state, he probably looked very far from collected, but he also knew that he wore menace like a jacket. People did what he asked out of sheer fear and desperation to be rid of him. True to his thoughts, the woman scurried off to go do what he said. He walked back outside and found his hand-crafted sword laying on the ground where he had dropped it before attacking the demon. He still had his dagger in his jacket pocket, unwilling to be separated from it. He knew not to trust anyone in his company, even if they claimed to be honorable they saw him as outside the rules.  
When he walked back into the crowded diner, he saw a pack slung over David’s shoulder and a sword at his belt. Regina had a gun on her belt and a well concealed knife in her boot. Snow had a bow and a sword with her quiver strapped over her right shoulder. Rumplestiltskin grabbed a pistol and slid it into his waistband at the small of his back. That reminded him, he needed to change his clothes. He thought he had enough energy to clean himself up with magic, but he could do that later.  
“Are you all ready? We need to get Ms. Swan and young Mr. Mills as well as take care of the monkeys. Are you ready to kill Zelena’s minions?” Rumplestiltskin asked, mainly focusing on the Charmings.  
Red could kill, and Regina could most definitely kill. It was Snow and David he was worried about. Their hero complex made everything hard.  
“We will knock them out. There is no need to kill them. Understood?” Snow said sternly.  
“Whatever suits your fancy,” he muttered.  
As soon as they reached the tree line, Rumplestiltskin used his magic. He cleaned off the blood from his sore body and changed his clothes. The other four people in his group took a moment to stare at him in surprise. He had changed into a deep purple dress shirt along with jeans and a black leather jacket, belt, and boots equipped with hunting knives.  
“What? I won’t be able to use nearly as much magic as I would like to, so I’ll take my chance with the pointy objects,” Rumplestiltskin smirked at everyone’s look of disbelief.  
As they trekked through the forest, Rumplestiltskin began to feel all his healed injuries more acutely. His side still throbbed and his ribs all felt very fragile. His scarred arm was shooting pains through his body every once in a while, and his leg was killing him. He didn’t say a thing, though. He didn’t wince or whimper or flinch. He was determined to show no weakness to the heroes, even if he was afraid he would lose Emma, and maybe even Henry. He was distracted by all his thoughts of them, and Zelena, so he wasn’t really paying attention to the looks the three in the front were shooting each other. All three had agreed that after the impending battle, they would pin Rumplestiltskin and try to take his dagger. Hopefully he would be weak enough that the three of them could overpower him, but they were ready to ask Emma for help if need be.  
“So. . . do we have a plan?” Red asked curiously.  
“Find the mines. Kill the monkeys if need be. Get Emma and Henry to safety. Don’t die,” Rumplestiltskin looked at her as they stumbled through the woods.  
“Very straightforward. I like it,” she replied with a grin.  
A quick smile twitched across his face and he was grateful to her. The wolf looked at him with no sympathy, no pity. She just looked at him. No prejudice, no hate, no judgment. She looked at him with the look of a friend who wouldn’t just pretend to understand, even if it was for comfort. Though he would never admit it, it made him feel safe. Her gaze was open and honest, not fake and guarded.  
“Why are you helping us get Emma and Henry back. Fighting the demon and rescuing them wasn’t part of your deal,” David said, trying to pry something out of the imp.  
“Perhaps there’s someone I’m trying to impress. Or perhaps I have nothing better to do,” Rumplestiltskin deflected.  
“Is there someone you’re trying to impress?” Snow asked amicably.  
“I said ‘perhaps’,” he repeated, again deflecting.  
“What’s with the wardrobe change. You aren’t having a mid-life crisis are you? I don’t know if I could deal with that,” Regina sneered.  
“It’s more comfortable this way, easier to move. Also, I miss my old leathers,” Rumplestiltskin replied honestly.  
“Why have you been spending so much time with Emma?” Red blurted out, making everyone come to a stop.  
“Excuse me?” David asked.  
“What gives you the idea I’ve been spending time with Emma?” Rumplestiltskin asked, discreetly, he started fidgeting with his fingers.  
“I’m sorry. It’s just been killing me lately. I’ve heard several rumors about you and Emma being seen together in a deli and then walking down the street. Someone even swore they saw you two hold hands,” Red gushed.  
“What?!” Emma’s father shouted.  
“What, do you have C.I.s everywhere?” the imp asked.  
“So it’s true,” Red concluded.  
“I didn’t say that,” Rumplestiltskin amended.  
“But you haven’t denied it either,” she noticed.  
“Which part do you want confirmation on?” he asked, hoping to avoid most of it.  
“All of it,” the she-wolf looked at him expectantly.  
“It’s not true. You have very imaginative sources,” Rumplestiltskin lied with practiced ease.  
He didn’t blink or flinch. He kept eye contact in a lazy sort of way to make it look noncommittal. He wanted to claim it was all true. He wanted to shout from the rooftops that Emma had kissed him. The rest of Storybrooke be damned, he was Emma’s, and he wanted her to be his. But, they wouldn’t understand. They would go after him with pitchforks and torches, so he stayed silent.  
“Oh,” Red breathed and her face fell a bit.  
“Thank God,” David smiled blindingly.  
“You know, everyone needs friends, who DO you hang out with?” Red persisted.  
“I don’t have friends,” Rumplestiltskin answered simply.  
“But no one can be completely alone,” she pressed.  
“That, I know all too well. Everyone needs someone. Unfortunately, I’ll just have to settle for memories,” he said as they picked their pace back up.  
“I thought you were used to being alone. After centuries of you, yourself, and the wall, I’d think you only needed yourself,” Regina smiled venomously  
“Yah, but being alone is scary. Everyone needs someone,” Red countered.  
“Being alone is only scary because there’s a part of yourself you hate. If there wasn’t, you wouldn’t need other people,” Rumplestiltskin told them, after all he knew that fact all too well.  
“Wow. What do you hate about yourself?” Snow asked curiously and carefully.  
Rumplestiltskin snorted and threw his head back as he laughed, “Where would you like me to begin, my dear?”  
“How can you say that with a laugh and a smile?” the princess-turned-thief asked.  
“I dare you to come up with something about myself I should love,” the imp smiled at her.  
“What does that have to do with it?” she raised a brow at him.  
“Because you’ve just asked me the wrong question. The fact that you can stand there and call me a beast, a monster, and then ask me such a question makes me laugh,” he answered with an unwavering voice.  
“What question should we ask then?” Charming cut in.  
“What shouldn’t I hate about myself?” Rumplestiltskin corrected.  
He had a dangerous gleam in his eyes, like he was daring them to answer. Like he was daring them to tell him he was worth more than magic. He looked like prey that was daring the predator to come closer. Like a scorpion daring a lion to eat it. He was in a position that should have made him vulnerable, but he wore it like armor. It was as if he was telling everyone else no matter what venom they spit at him, he had already forced himself to swallow worse. He was telling them that they couldn’t hurt him more than he hurt himself, and he was daring them to try. It’s what made people afraid of him. The fact that no matter what they did, they couldn’t break someone who was already shattered. Rumplestiltskin hadn’t even tried to put himself back together, so there was nothing to lose. He had everything, but no one could touch him.  
He smirked when no one answered, all looking down at his question. They walked on in silence, just waiting until they got where they wanted to be. When they got to the Toll Bridge, they started looking around for the entrance to the mines. When they found it, they would be ready, and they would get Emma and Henry back. They WOULD do it, no matter the cost. Finally, after a while of searching, Red called out. Everyone gathered around The cave entrance. It was deep with no light, but they had thankfully brought flashlights. Rumplestiltskin was going to come back out of these mines with Emma and Henry. And then he was going to murder Zelena while the heroes screamed protests.


	11. Deep Wounds and False Comfort

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "When you look into the eyes of death, the promise of the end is possibly more comforting than the warm fire of life you're leaving behind."

Chapter 11 

Moving down the tunnel, they were all becoming nervous. They hadn’t heard anything since they found the cave. There weren’t any sounds of wings, tails, or claws. They didn’t see any marks of the monkeys or their captives. They didn’t hear Emma or Henry, and it was beginning to worry everyone. Rumplestiltskin knew he was ready for this. His magic might still be depleted, but if he could beat Charming, he could beat some monkeys. He wasn’t sure if his pistol would come in useful or if it was for naught, but he had it just in case. His hand went to his sword hilt every time there was a noise, but it was always a rat or bug. The daggers in his boots put a reassuring weight on his calves, and he knew this must have been how Emma felt. With no magic, a weapon was like a lifeline. He hadn’t felt that before, even when he had no magic. He was always without a weapon in his old life, and now he regretted it. His thoughts had distracted him enough that it was a surprise when everyone stopped. He almost ran into Snow’s back, but he caught himself in time.  
“What is it?” Red, who was standing next to him, asked.  
“Crossroad,” David replied over his shoulder.  
Rumplestiltskin and Red walked around the three in front so they could get a better look. There were three tunnels in the dome shaped area.  
“This part of the mines is indeed high enough for the monkeys to fly. They are probably keeping Emma and Henry in a similar spot,” Rumplestiltskin noted.  
“We should split up. Someone’s going to have to go alone,” Regina suggested.  
“I’ll go with Rumple,” Red volunteered.  
The wolf shared a look with him and nodded slightly. The corner of Rumplestiltskin’s mouth curled up almost imperceptibly. The three in front also shared a look and came to a silent agreement. Rumplestiltskin had to go with one of them. Regina mouthed ‘me’ to the other two and they looked at each other and nodded.  
“Why don’t you go by yourself, Red. You’re a great tracker, I’m sure you don’t need any help,” Snow looked kindly at her friend.  
“I could use Rumple’s input. He can be helpful,” Red smiled back at her.  
“I can go with him. I’m sure I could use him for something,” Regina said.  
“Oh, is that so, Your Majesty?” Rumplestiltskin asked.  
“It is,” she replied haughtily.  
“I would really rather go with Miss Lucas, if it’s all the same to you,” he smirked.  
“It isn’t. She can go alone,” the queen said once more.  
“Okay, I’ll go alone. Maybe Rumplestiltskin could go with Snow,” Red suggested, shooting him a warning glare.  
“Yes, that sounds like a wonderful idea,” he agreed.  
Neither Red nor Rumplestiltskin knew what Regina was planning, but it couldn’t be good. The imp was glad Red was on his side. Even if he didn’t want to admit it, he needed people now. Everyone knew about the dagger, and that meant everyone wanted it. No one wanted Rumplestiltskin free.  
“Regina and I can take one of the tunnels then,” Charming said, hoping he wouldn’t have to push it.  
“That sounds like a lovely idea, you should do that,” Rumplestiltskin looked at Regina, daring her to argue.  
“Yes, that will work just fine,” Regina agreed.  
Red went down the tunnel to the right, Charming and Regina, the middle, and Rumplestiltskin and Snow got the left. They walked in stiff silence for a few moments. Snow kept looking at Rumplestiltskin as if he would suddenly tackle her and try to kill her.  
“What has you so nervous, my dear?” Rumplestiltskin asked calmly.  
“I’m not nervous,” Snow answered all too quickly.  
Rumplestiltskin shot her a disbelieving look. Snow looked at the ground to avoid his eyes. She was such a guilty liar.  
“What if we can’t get Emma and Henry back?” she asked quietly.  
“We will. I know we will,” Rumplestiltskin said.  
“How? How can you know that?” Snow looked at him with watery eyes.  
“Because I’ll do anything to get them back,” he replied.  
“What if Zelena found a way to kill you?” she looked at him fearfully.  
“I’m not afraid to die. And it is rather impossible. The most she could do is put me in a coma. I AM immortal after all,” the imp reminded her.  
“How can you welcome death so easily after centuries of self-preservation?” Snow asked incredulously.  
“I spent centuries trying to find Bae. Now, that doesn’t matter. Death isn’t as bad as you may think, either,” Rumplestiltskin smiled sadly.  
“I suppose you would know better than me. But how can death be a good thing?” the archer asked genuinely.  
“When you look into the eyes of death, the promise of the end is possibly more comforting than the warm fire of life you’re leaving behind,” Rumplestiltskin whispered.  
“But what about the people you’ll miss?” Snow asked curiously.  
“It means nothing if no one will miss me. And right now, I don’t think anyone will,” he kept moving forward.  
They lapsed into deafening silence once again. Rumplestiltskin was hoping he could convince Snow not to go through with whatever her plan was, but he didn’t want to push her towards it either.  
“What were you and your charming prince talking about earlier?” Rumplestiltskin questioned softly.  
“What do you mean?” Snow wouldn’t look him in the eyes.  
“Were you talking about how to keep me away from Zelena?” he guessed.  
“No,” she whispered.  
“You know, you’re a really bad liar,” the imp smiled at her as they stopped to look at each other.  
“You can’t kill Zelena,” Snow pleaded.  
“And why can’t I? Because it’s not right? What makes justice wrong?” Rumplestiltskin asked her.  
“Killing is not the way. Why can’t having her locked up be good enough?” she pressed.  
“My boy’s not locked up, is he? What goes around comes around, dearie,” he sneered.  
“Neal wouldn’t want you to do this,” Snow tried playing the one card that always worked on Regina.  
“Neal? Neal? That wasn’t his name. And you don’t know what he would want. He’s dead, so he can’t tell us,” Rumplestiltskin raised his voice.  
“I’m sorry. Baelfire. He was a good person, he wouldn’t want you to kill Zelena,” Snow tried again.  
“Yes, Bae was a good person, and he might not want me to kill her, but I’m going to do it anyways,” Rumplestiltskin concluded stubbornly.  
“Are you sure you want this for Baelfire? It seems more like you’re doing it for yourself,” she reasoned.  
“Maybe I am. But Bae deserves justice. He was a good man, and what did he get? The wrong name on his head stone,” Rumplestiltskin replied bitterly.  
Without any further words, Rumplestiltskin started walking again. Snow ran to catch up with him and they stayed silent after that. It was a rather twisted tunnel. There were no more forks or crossroads, but there were a lot of turns. Rumplestiltskin was becoming more nervous with each passing moment. Snow had answered the questions he hadn’t asked during their conversation. She, Charming, and Regina were planning to keep him away from Zelena. He just needed to figure out how. Did they know his dagger was still in his pocket? All they had to do was get his jacket and he wouldn’t be able to put a finger on Zelena. Maybe that was the price of saving Emma and Henry: giving up his dagger. Surely if they ever got his dagger, they would only tell him not to hurt Zelena, right? They wouldn’t take away his magic, or use him for deals. Because they were heroes, they wouldn’t make him their pet, would they? Unknowingly, he started sweating. The beads were collecting on his brow and he wiped them off before Snow could see. The last thing he needed was for the heroes to know that he was actually scared of what they could do. Now, he just needed to focus on getting the people he cared about back.  
Soon enough, they came to a large area similar to the one they had started in. There was a tunnel in front of them and one right next to the one they had come out of. Rumplestiltskin drew his sword when he heard voices coming out of the tunnel next to theirs. Snow knocked an arrow and readied herself for whoever came out.  
“. . .in will probably not be able to resist then. That’s when we’ll get it,” Charming was looking at Regina as he talked.  
“Charming?” Snow called out as she lowered her bow.  
“Snow? Where’d you come from?” David asked.  
Rumplestiltskin sheathed his sword once again and thought about what he heard. He looked over at Regina who was smiling back at him. It worried him to no end that no matter what, there always seemed to be an enemy. Now, he didn’t even have his ally. Red was still off down that other tunnel and he was now stuck with the three people he was the most suspicious of.  
“What exactly are you trying to get?” Rumplestiltskin cut across the reunion.  
“We were talking about the monkeys. If we all surround them they will have to split up, one for each of us. Then we’ll get Emma and Henry,” Regina saved David from answering.  
“That sounds like a logical plan. I’m sure we’ll succeed,” Rumplestiltskin agreed, though he didn’t believe her.  
They kept moving through the tunnels in silence. Rumplestiltskin was really hoping they would come across the monkeys soon because he was becoming paranoid. The other three were behind him, and he was pretty sure they were having a conversation that he wouldn’t like. Just when he was about to turn around, though, the tunnel opened up into a cavern. There were torches lining the walls and two wooden posts in the middle of the opening. Emma was tied to the one on his left and Henry was on the right. Each of them were gagged and tied the same way.  
“We’re here,” Rumplestiltskin whispered.  
“What are we waiting for?” David asked, ready to charge.  
“Wait,” the imp grabbed the prince’s arm.  
“Why?! They’re right there,” Charming pointed frantically.  
“And do you see any monkeys?” Rumplestiltskin asked him.  
“Well, no,” he admitted.  
“We need a plan of attack, and then a plan for our escape,” Gold pressed.  
“What do you think?” Snow asked sweetly, like she wasn’t a little plotter.  
“I see a tunnel on the other side, right behind Emma and Henry. That can be our escape. I think if we send someone in there, we’ll see what the trap is. Then, everyone else can go in and start fighting,” Rumplestiltskin suggested.  
“Great, get moving,” Regina said.  
“Of course,” he rolled his eyes.  
“You’re the only one who can’t die,” she argued.  
“Fine,” Rumplestiltskin acquiesced.  
Drawing his sword, Rumplestiltskin moved forward into the cavern. When Emma caught sight of him, he could tell she was trying to speak. She was shaking her head and looking towards the cavern’s ceiling. Rumplestiltskin looked up just in time to see the hoard of monkeys that were descending on him.  
“Da-” he didn’t get to finish as the first monkey reached him.  
He swung his sword expertly at the monkey, but it quickly avoided the blade. A monkey came up behind him and he turned to swing at that one too. The third monkey wasn’t able to avoid his sword and Rumpelstiltskin hit its leg. There were just too many of them, though. He felt claws sink into his shoulders from behind as he blocked a monkey that tried to bite at his face. Another monkey latched onto his left arm sharply and he hissed in pain at all the claws that were trying to grab him. He hit the monkey behind him and attempted to slash at the monkey on his arm. A different simian grabbed his right arm and he felt its claws dig into his soft scar tissue. He groaned as another one of the beasts bit into his left leg.  
“A little help!” Rumplestiltskin yelled around all the monkeys.  
Snow, David, and Regina had been patiently watching as he was being overpowered by monkeys. They slowly moved into view of the monkeys and several split off to deal with them. The ones currently trying to rip him to pieces, though, wouldn’t let up. He felt claws on his abdomen and moved his sword upward, catching a monkey in the chest as his right side started burning. He hit the monkey that was biting at his injured leg and then got the one on his arm. A wet, sticky substance dripped down his stomach, arms, and leg. It took a moment to comprehend that he was bleeding, and when he did, he moved his arms to feel his shoulders burning. His jacket was torn up and he momentarily panicked. Looking down, he saw that his dagger was still well hidden. The second of relief was short lived, though, as the monkeys began attacking him again. He moved his sword skillfully, trying to keep the monkeys away from him, but there were a dozen attacking him. He looked over his shoulder to see his three comrades back to back in a circle. Of course, they were doing just fine with only a few scratches.  
“Emma?! Are you okay?” Rumplestiltskin shouted over the cacophony.  
Emma nodded vigorously and pointed with her chin to his left. He swung his sword just in time to catch the claws of a monkey about to tear at his shoulder. While he was turned, another monkey grabbed his right arm and pulled roughly. He stumbled backwards and into the monkey. He swung around, but the monkey caught his sword in its teeth. It tried to steal his sword by pulling, but he had a firm grip on it. That is, until the monkey he had been pulled away from flew over to him and raked its claws down his back. He cried out sharply and let go of the sword as blood trickled down his back. The wounds ran right over the scars Zelena had given him. Moving his arms hurt like hell, but Emma was right there, he WOULD save her, no matter what. He grabbed his pistol and flicked the safety off. Mr. Gold had learned how to use a gun and his aim had been pretty spot on. Rumplestiltskin found it easy to use when he had so many memories of practice. His fake targets had also been moving so it was easy to shoot the monkeys. He fired round after round, but the monkeys kept flying, although a little sluggish. It almost looked like they couldn’t stop, no matter how much it hurt. He felt a moment of empathy, Zelena had done that to him as well. He was snapped out of his reverie when a monkey dived for him and he discovered his magazine was empty. He cursed and put the pistol back on his waistband, reaching instead for his daggers. His sword had been dropped near the planned exit and he knew he wouldn’t be able to get to it. He also knew he couldn’t rely on the other three fighters considering they were ignoring his troubles. Before he could get his fingers around the hilts of his daggers, a monkey clawed onto him and pulled him back up. A second monkey flew into his stomach and knocked him over. The two monkeys started sinking their teeth into his arms and soon, other monkeys joined in. He could feel his legs, arms, and torso being bitten. He screamed at the pain as more blood poured from his torn body. If he wasn’t immortal, this would have easily killed him. His face was scratched several times as the monkeys kept coming at him.  
“Snow! HELP!” Rumplestiltskin yelled desperately, hoping she would take mercy on him.  
“I’m sorry! I can’t get to you!” Snow yelled back.  
‘Of course she can’t.’ He thought as he felt his blood draining. He used all of the energy he had left to send out a burst of magic that pushed all of the monkeys back. He had several moments of painful relief before all the simians started moving towards him once more. Just then, he heard a growl. It wasn’t like a monkey growl, it was much deeper, wilder. He shifted his head slightly to see a large, black wolf standing by the exit. It snarled and barked at the monkeys before charging them. The monsterous beast sunk its teeth into anything it could reach.The monkeys’ claws gripped its fur, but it just kept snapping at them. The vicious anger in its eyes seemed to fuel it as the wolf jumped into the air to rip one of the monkey’s wings off. It was thorough in its fighting, not leaving a single monkey un-mangled. Most of the monkeys were still alive and slowly turning back into humans, but they were all bloody. With a start, Rumplestiltskin realized the wolf was Red and he smiled. At least, he tried to smile, it ended in a grimace. The wolf suddenly shifted into a woman, and his realization was confirmed. Red grabbed his sword and cut Emma and Henry free. All three of them ran over to Rumplestiltskin.  
“Say something. Are you awake?” Emma asked pleadingly.  
“Ow,” Rumplestiltskin muttered and attempted a smirk.  
“Grandpa! You were awesome. Those monkeys were completely surprised,” Henry smiled unsurely.  
“I don’t feel awesome, but thank you. Anything for you two,” Rumplestiltskin said, then looked at Red, “Three.”  
Red smiled at him and looked at his wounds. His jacket was gone and his shirt and pants were almost nonexistent. He was covered in blood and it began pooling around him as they looked on. He wasn’t sure where the other three were, but he couldn’t really think about much. Emma leaned over him and began using her magic once again.  
“You know, Emma, you really are my Savior. I should stop making this a habit,” Rumplestiltskin breathed out.  
“That’s what happens when you try to be a hero,” Emma chastised, and he swore he saw a tear slip down her face as she healed him.  
“Don’t you want me to be a hero? I won’t be very good, but I’ll try, for you and Henry,” he sighed.  
“I knew it! You do like her,” Red grinned triumphantly.  
“Guilty as charged. Are you okay with that, Henry?” Rumplestiltskin turned his head.  
“Yah, I think I can live with that,” Henry smiled brightly.  
“No, Rumplestiltskin, I don’t want you to be a hero. I want you to be you,” Emma answered his earlier question.  
“But you deserve a knight in shining armor,” the imp smiled.  
“Maybe I want an imp in leather pants,” Emma smirked at him.  
Rumplestiltskin groaned, “You know about that?”  
“My parents told me,” she smiled teasingly.  
“If you ask nicely, perhaps I’ll model them for you,” Rumplestiltskin smirked mischievously.  
“Ew. Get a room,” Henry scrunched up his nose.  
“You know that’s a lovely idea,” Rumplestiltskin grinned at Emma and raised his eyebrows.  
Emma smacked him on his newly healed arm. He hissed at her while Red fell over laughing. Suddenly, Rumplestiltskin sat straight up despite the pain and nausea. He looked down at his torn clothes, and then around the cavern.  
“Rum, what’s wrong?” Emma asked him.  
“My dagger! Where is it?” Rumplestiltskin said frantically.  
Red straightened immediately and Henry looked around worriedly. The four of them scanned the cavern and saw David, Snow, and Regina standing off to the side. Emma stood up and hugged the three of them, having forgotten about them until that moment. Henry got up and ran over to them as well.  
“Do you guys know where Grandpa’s dagger is?” the boy asked innocently.  
“You mean this?” Regina drew it out of her coat.  
Henry tried to grab it, but the queen drew it away. Emma looked at her expectantly and held out her hand.  
“Regina, what are you doing?” Emma asked warningly.  
Rumplestiltskin was slowly trying to stand, though he hadn’t been fully healed. He wanted to clean himself off and get some new clothes, but he walked over to the group near the exit to see what was happening. His right leg still had an unhealed bite and his abdomen still had scratches covering it. He limped over next to Emma and saw Regina holding his dagger. He looked into her eyes to see her vicious satisfaction.  
“Regina, please, give me my dagger,” Rumplestiltskin whispered.  
What used to be a word of power was now a plea on his lips. He couldn’t do this. First Zelena and then her sister? He didn’t want to be in yet another cage. The mines had already been hard for him because of his growing claustrophobia, but he had done it for Emma and Henry.  
“No, Rumple. You don’t deserve your freedom if you’re going to keep abusing it. We can’t trust that you’ll make the right choices,” Regina straightened her spine and smiled at him.  
“But they’re still MY choices,” Rumplestiltskin argued nervously.  
“What do you mean ‘we’?” Emma asked.  
“Your mother and I agree with Regina, Emma. He can’t be trusted,” David said as Snow looked down.  
“You can’t do this! It’s wrong to take away someone’s free will. Rumple’s been trying,” Henry protested.  
“Henry,” David began, kneeling in front of the boy, “Rumplestiltskin isn’t like anyone else. He has too much power that he can’t be trusted with.”  
“You’re only doing this because he’s more powerful than you?!” Red shrieked.  
“Please, Charming, Snow, I JUST helped save your daughter and grandson. Why are you doing this? I haven’t done anything wrong,” Rumplestiltskin pleaded softly, brokenly.  
“Haven’t done anything wrong? You trick people into doing things against their own will. You are trying to kill someone!” David stated.  
“My only crime in my deals is knowing people better than they know themselves, and I’m trying to kill Zelena for a very good reason. I thought you would appreciate the fact that I have dealt for that fairly. I haven’t gone behind your back, I’ve waited,” Rumplestiltskin defended.  
“Please, you can’t do this to him,” Emma grabbed Regina’s arm.  
“And why not? Why are you standing up for him?” Regina shot back.  
“Because NO ONE deserves this! Can’t you see that? Does he look like he is about to raze the town? No, no he doesn’t. So give him back the dagger,” Emma yelled.  
“No. He’s been a pain for so long. The three of us are fixing a problem,” Regina said stiffly, ignoring Henry’s pleas as well.  
“Snow?” Emma looked at her mother, “Mom?”  
“I’m sorry Emma, he’s just too unpredictable,” Snow really looked genuinely sorry.  
“Please! Don’t do this,” Rumplestiltskin looked like he was ready to sink to his knees, “I just got away from Zelena.”  
“Then you should have behaved like a good boy,” Regina smiled.  
“Come on guys! He was the one who made sure you two stayed together!” Emma looked to her parents.  
“This isn’t like you, Snow. Just give him back the dagger,” Red grabbed her friend’s hand.  
“I’m sorry,” Snow repeated.  
“W-what are you going to do with it?” Rumplestiltskin looked absolutely broken.  
“First, clean the blood off and change your clothes,” Regina smiled.  
Rumplestiltskin almost vomited. Her sister had said something very similar once upon a time. The magic flooded through him and he almost crumpled from the exertion. The blood disappeared and the clothes he had been wearing knit themselves back together. His wounds didn’t heal, though, and his energy didn’t come back.  
“Now what?” Rumplestiltskin looked at the ground and kept himself from crying.  
He wouldn’t show that kind of weakness in the face of this. They wouldn’t torture him, not like Zelena. That was the only thought that was holding him together. He couldn’t take more hands, more pain. He didn’t want to be touched or caged. He didn’t want any of this. Even death would have been better than being trapped again. Trapped in his own body by his own magic.  
“Now, we fix some more problems,” Regina grinned sickly at him as they were all teleported back into town.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please comment on where you think this is going! Thank you for reading!


	12. Have An Imp With Lunch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Pet? How'd you manage that?"

Chapter 12

Fix problems they did. Using Rumplestiltskin’s dagger, Regina had him expend the little energy he had left to clean up the town. He put the streets back together, fixed the light posts, and righted the electricity poles while reconnecting the lines. By the time he was done putting the shops and whatnot back together, he was nearly doubled over in pain and lack of energy. He felt too drained to move, much less use magic, but he was forced to anyway. He was thankful he had nothing in his stomach, because he was putting forth an unbelievable amount of restraint to keep himself from retching. If he was going to vomit, it would be on Regina.  
“Am I done, Regina?” Rumplestiltskin panted as he leaned against a wall.  
His abdomen was burning, and it felt like there were daggers buried hilt deep in his right leg. It didn’t help that his scars had been newly ripped open. Although he was able to close them, it all hurt.  
“Yah, why don’t we go get some food from Granny’s for your efforts,” Regina smirked at him.  
The little blood that was left in his face drained. She couldn’t mean- She wouldn’t- Was she going to FORCE him to eat?  
“That’s quite all right. I’m not that hungry,” Rumplestiltskin lied.  
“No, you’re going to eat. You’ve been weak lately. We’re going to fix that,” the queen smiled.  
Charming and Snow had taken Red, Emma, and Henry back to Snow’s apartment to be looked over and to get some rest. It was just him and Regina.  
“And call me Your Majesty. I like the way it sounds when you say it,” Regina smiled maliciously.  
Rumplestiltskin nearly choked at that. That was exactly what Zelena had asked him to call her. She had told him she wanted to feel like a queen. It was petty, but the Mills women always seemed to be obsessed with power. He was afraid. If the Charmings didn’t know about this, they wouldn’t know if she hurt him. Would she? Would she really revel in it so much that it would be taken that far?  
“Well, Rumple? Do I have to enforce that rule? Or will we be doing this the easy way, pet?” Regina sneered.  
His eyes widened and his heart stopped, then it beat ten times faster. She was baiting him. She WANTED a reason to test the dagger. She wanted an excuse so that the Charmings couldn’t blame her. It made him seethe with rage. How could she dare to call him her pet? But then that little voice that had been in the back of his head since he was freed from Zelena spoke up. ‘Because you are her pet. You are to her anything she requests. You are her slave.’ He shuddered to think of what she would do. He didn’t want her to know about how her sister broke him, but he didn’t want to resist.  
“No, Your Majesty. I understand perfectly,” Rumplestiltskin spat venomously.  
“Good boy. Maybe something good did come out of my sister keeping you. I like my dogs already trained,” Regina was testing him now.  
She wanted to see where the line was. How far did his obedience go? When would he finally snap and fight her? He refused to give her a reason to punish him. So, instead, he just smiled his most hate filled smile at her. He was sure he would dream of tearing her apart later, if he was able to sleep.  
“Come along. We have a stop to make before we meet up with all of your new masters,” Regina looked at him over her shoulder with a victorious smile.  
He pushed off the wall and stumbled after her. His leg felt like it was burning. The bite just happened to be over one of his more thorough scars and was right above his mangled ankle. He was never able to properly heal that ankle, unfortunately. It was like a brand, just like all his other scars. All of them screamed the same thing to him: coward. With a huff, he followed closely behind Regina.  
When they entered the diner, Granny came rushing up to them. She had a worried, and somewhat guilty, look on her face. She was ringing her hands and shuffling her feet too.  
“Relax, Mrs. Lucas. Red, Henry, and Emma are all okay,” Rumplestiltskin offered her his best comforting smile.  
Instead of thanking him, Granny turned to Regina as if for confirmation. She looked like she would explode, and Regina almost looked inclined to keep her waiting.  
“What he said is true,” Regina smiled at the old woman.  
“Oh, thank goodness!” Widow Lucas threw her arms around Regina.  
It was a surprise considering how refined and serious Granny always was. Having a child on the line must have driven her to hysterics, though.  
“We were hoping to order,” Regina wiggled out of the bone crushing hug.  
“Yes, yes, of course. What can I get for you?” Granny took out a pad and pen.  
“Two cheeseburgers and a turkey sandwich,” Regina ordered.  
“Coming right up,” the werewolf said with a smile.  
“Are you really going to make me eat something?” Rumplestiltskin questioned as they sat down at a booth in the corner to wait.  
“Yes. I don’t need you all skinny and weak,” Regina snarled at him.  
“But perhaps I only need sleep,” he argued.  
“What is wrong with you?” the queen asked.  
“What do you mean? I’m just not hungry,” the imp stared her down.  
“You’ve been so weird lately, though. You look like an insomniac, you never eat, you barely drink anything, and then there’s that unexplained thing that happened in my basement. You looked like you were gagging on a log,” Regina hissed at him.  
“That’s my business,” Rumplestiltskin pursed his lips.  
She was going to find out eventually, but he would prefer to keep it to himself for as long as he could. If she knew, it would only be a matter of time until everyone else knew as well.  
“So, there is something wrong?” she pressed.  
“Yes. But it’s of no consequence to you,” the imp said with a scowl.  
“Mmm. We’ll see about that. Time to go over some rules,” Regina gave him her sweetest smile, he wanted to die, “You will be there when I call you. You will help me with what I need. You will keep the sarcasm to a minimum. You will stay where I tell you to. You will do what I tell you to do.”  
“Don’t know if you were paying attention, Your Majesty, but those rules are already covered by the dagger. I couldn’t disobey you if I wanted to, and I want to,” Rumplestiltskin smiled right back at her.  
“I’d still prefer you hear them out loud. You have an affinity for excuses. You aren’t going anywhere anytime soon, so you better listen,” she threatened.  
“Do I get my phone call?” the imp asked innocently.  
A waitress walked over with their bag of things and set it on the table. Regina got out her wallet and practically threw the cash at the poor girl before grabbing the bag and heading out. Rumplestiltskin followed close behind as they set off down the street. Regina shoved the bag into his hands as they walked in an unspoken command to hold it. He was tempted to just drop it and keep walking, but he decided against it. When they got to Regina’s house, he wanted to scream. If she made him-  
“My sister needs some food, so you two can eat your burgers together,” Regina said indifferently.  
Rumplestiltskin nearly just tried to grab her and throw her against the wall. He burned holes in the back of her head all the way to the basement door. By the time they were at the last step, he was fuming. There was practically steam coming out of his ears.  
“Sister dear, I brought your food,” Regina announced as she rounded the corner with her new imp in tow.  
Zelena sat up with a bored expression on her face. Then she spotted Rumplestiltskin. Her face split into a brilliant grin and she bounded for the bars. She pressed her face through them and grinned even wider.  
“How did you manage to pat down his anger, darling? No cookies for a week if he killed me?” Zelena lilted.  
“Something like that,” Regina smiled.  
Oh Lord, were they going to share tips? Were they going to exchange stories about having him captive? What if he had to keep them both company while they went shopping? He wouldn’t last if they started asking him which dress he liked best. He nearly retched at the thought.  
“So, are you two lovelies going to keep me company?” Zelena asked curiously.  
“Yes, today we will,” Regina smiled, “And I have a surprise for you.”  
The queen motioned for Rumplestiltskin to take the food out of the bag and give it to her. He set the bag on the ground and handed her one of the burgers and her sandwich. The other burger he laid on the ground.  
“You have a new friend who will be delivering all of your food! Surprise!” Regina handed her sister the burger.  
“Oh, really? I get an imp at lunch time? You’re too kind,” Zelena smiled happily.  
“Yes, Your Majesty, you are too kind. Why grace your captive with the gift of my company?” Rumplestiltskin looked at her in rage.  
“Because I want my prisoner and my pet to get along. I hope you two enjoy your time together,” Regina smirked at them both.  
“Pet? How’d you manage that?” the formerly green which asked.  
Instead of answering, Regina drew the dagger out of her jacket like a trophy. She held it in front of her sister’s face, and Rumplestiltskin was once again reminded that his blood was dried all over it.  
“Ooooh, that’s wonderful! How’s that working out so far? Is he being a good little slave?” Zelena looked at her sister expectantly.  
Rumplestiltskin growled at her from his spot on the ground where he was sitting cross legged. His eyes were almost completely black with hate and loathing. What was he? Some sort of object?  
“Now now, dear. Behave. He’s been a bit argumentative, but he listens well,” Regina rated.  
“Really? He never listened to me. I had to. . . convince him to behave,” Zelena pouted.  
“Oh. Hmm. How’d you do it? Because whatever you did, I think it worked,” the queen questioned.  
“Well, I had to dole out some punishment whenever he did something wrong,” the witch smiled again.  
Rumplestiltskin subconsciously leaned away from her when she said that. He really didn’t want to think about her ‘punishments’ at the moment. He didn’t want Regina getting ideas either.  
“What kind of punishments?” Regina asked in interest.  
“Ask him to take off his shirt and you’ll see,” Zelena suggested.  
Regina looked at Rumplestiltskin expectantly. There was no way he was showing her his scars. She would have to chase him down if she wanted his shirt off.  
“Well, Rumple. You heard her. Take your shirt off,” his new mistress commanded.  
“No,” Rumplestiltskin stared at her defiantly.  
“Take. It. Off,” Regina gripped the dagger.  
“M-mm,” he huffed as the command settled in his brain.  
The curse bounced the command around in his brain, but he refused. That’s when he felt the pain. His curse was trying to MAKE him take off his shirt. Such a simple request, and yet one of the worst ones he could have been given. His head felt like it was being crushed by an anvil as his curse continuously reminded him he was supposed to listen. He gripped his head in an effort to stop the pain, but it only got worse. It slowly seeped through the rest of his body as he continuously refused the command. His muscles started spasming as the pain grew and grew. He fell onto his side and curled up as the agony tore through his chest. It felt like his body was being torn into by the monkeys again. He started convulsing as he attempted to refuse his dagger. Zelena started laughing from her cell as he writhed on the floor. Suddenly, all he could see was that cage door and Zelena’s smiling face.

_‘He was shivering and spasming as she stood over him and smiled. Convulsions were racking his body and causing his back to arch off the cold concrete floor. All of his wounds burned like fire and his body felt almost numb with pain. That was the catch. . . almost. He could feel all the fire in his veins as a scream was ripped from his chest. It didn’t matter how raw his throat was, he hurt. He couldn’t stop the screaming once it started. He just felt so hollow. If there was another option at the moment, he would have taken it. He would have kissed her boots if it made the pain stop. He tried to seethe with rage at that thought, but all he accomplished was a whimper and another scream. There was no point being angry, or defiant. Not when she could do anything to him at any time. His body was sore and broken from the beatings, and his torso was not even close to healed. He didn’t even want to think about his arm and hands, it just caused more pain._  
_“Are you done?” Zelena asked as though he wanted to be screaming._  
_“Depends. . . if. . . you are,” Rumplestiltskin rasped when the pain ceased._  
_He hadn’t meant for it to sound that way. It sounded witty and sarcastic, and defiant. The sharp gleam in her eyes made him scramble to cover his mistake. What could he possibly say that would cover that up? If he begged, perhaps that would sway her._  
_“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that. Please, no more pain,” Rumplestiltskin wheezed._  
_“Please? Well, since you asked so nicely. . .” Zelena let the sentence hang._  
_For one pitiful second, he thought it had worked. Then, the pain ripped through his body. He threw his head back against the concrete as another scream escaped him. The agony was tunneling through his muscles, his bones. He could feel it everywhere. It felt like that last second of death, paused and repeated in a never ending loop. That last second when you bare the pain because you know what comes after: escape. Escape to a dark abyss where you feel nothing. But for Rumplestiltskin, that sanctuary never came. That sweet release where the darkness consumes you. No, he had that once, now was his punishment. No matter what he had done to redeem himself, now he paid for his sins in the worst way possible. He didn’t think he had ever done anything this painful to another person, but then again, he couldn’t think much at all. His nerves were on fire with the magically induced pain that clawed at his very soul. The pain was in him; it was a part of him. There was no way to escape it, even through death. He was sure the agony would follow him to the afterlife. This pain would never stop. Even if his wounds healed, there would always be the whisper of dark misery shooting through him. The only thing worse than the flare in his body, was the dull ache in his chest. He felt absolutely nothing. The torture was that much worse only because he was so emotionally empty. That one spot in his heart that had always held the one thing that never failed to let him down, but was always replenished, was dry. That one part of him that always dared to do the thing he was reminded only caused pain, was just dead. There was no more hope. He would spend the rest of his immortal life like this, in pain._  
_“Don’t worry, doll. You’ll learn soon enough,” Zelena smiled as the pain stopped once more._  
_Oh yeah. He had almost forgotten he was supposed to be learning something. The agony had wiped everything else from his mind. What was he supposed to be learning again? Oh, right. Belle wasn’t coming, no one was. He was alone with Zelena, and he belonged to her completely. Personally, he thought this ‘lesson’ was unnecessary, but she was proving a point once more._  
_“Now, tell me what I want to hear,” the witch cooed._  
_“I. . . am yours,” Rumplestiltskin breathed._  
_She had made him say it every day. Every bloody day. He had gone with her when she ran an errand and gotten to see outside. Then, he had seen Belle. She looked at him hopefully and told him to fight it. He had been too afraid of the pain to even try, again. He knew he was a coward, but he didn’t want to hurt. Later, when Zelena had told him to say what she wanted, he had refused. He had refused for Belle. Belle wanted him to be strong, and he had tried. It only ended in pain and misery._  
_“That’s right, you are,” Zelena nodded._  
_“Now, call me Your Majesty. Make me feel like the queen I deserve to be. Like the queen I WILL be when my plan is complete,” she smirked at his stunned expression._  
_“W-what?” he stuttered out in between ragged gulps of air._  
_“You heard me!” Zelena screeched as she knelt next to him._  
_He was scared speechless by the proximity. His mouth just hung open as he tried to comprehend that through the pain. What did she want him to call her? It just hurt too much to think. There was so much pain rocketing through his body. Before he could bring his mind around again, Zelena grabbed his left ankle and twisted. He moved onto his side so he could avoid the brunt of the pain. It still made him whimper, but he couldn’t manage more than that. His captor took the dagger and brought it down onto his calf. He screamed as the blade cut swiftly through his muscle. He flailed helplessly on the ground as his eyes watered from the pain. He looked down to see the end of the dagger coming out of the inner side of his calf. He whimpered as tears slipped down his cheek onto the floor. The sight of the blood dripping off the pointy end and the thought of her pulling it back out made him want to wretch. He hadn’t been fed for several days, though. When he weakly attempted to vomit, it ended up in him dry heaving and choking. He couldn’t do this. He couldn’t take the pain of his feet, hands, arm, and torso. It all combined into an agonizing hurricane of misery as his tears fell faster. His pleas came out in breathless strings of ‘I’msorryI’msorryI’msorry’ while he writhed._  
_“I’m quite sure you are,” Zelena smiled toothily._  
_And, with that, she pulled the dagger out of his leg and he rolled onto his back screaming again. Just when he started to think he couldn’t scream any more, he always managed it. His screams were short, dry, and choked, though. He sounded much more like an abused animal than a human at this point, and that was exactly how he felt: like an animal. He lived in a cage, he was physically punished for bad behavior, and he had to obey his mistress’ command._  
_“I’m. . . sorry,” Rumplestiltskin whispered, “I. . . just want it. . . to stop.”_  
_“Oh, of course you do,” Zelena cradled his face in her free hand._  
_She smiled at him like she was his savior. She touched him like a healer. She talked to him like a friend. He couldn’t take the mockery, the irony. He was already knee deep in shame, the humiliation was only twisting the metaphoric dagger deeper. As she held his face and looked into his eyes, she reached across him with the dagger. Without breaking eye contact, she raked the dagger down his right thigh. He jerked away from her hand as he convulsed. The magic induced pain followed immediately as he felt the blood drip down his leg. She cackled as his muscles spasmed and his mind drifted away. He felt like he would go mad with the pain. He felt nothing but the agony. He wasn’t sure if his eyes were open or closed. Colors swam together and spots danced in his mind as he rotated his head further away from Zelena. He didn’t want to move, to think, to live. It all just hurt so much. He was brought back when Zelena grabbed his jaw and ordered him into coherency._  
_“Now, have you learned your lesson?” Zelena looked at him expectantly._  
_“Yes. . . Your Majesty,” Rumplestiltskin gasped._  
_She smiled as he acquiesced to her twisted fantasy of royalty. Her sick roleplay made his stomach churn and his mind twist. She let go of his face and got up. Without another word, she flounced towards the stairs and exited the cellar. Without a lasting command of coherency, Rumplestiltskin felt his mind slip. His eyes rolled back in pain as darkness slipped over him. His last conscious thought before losing his battle with Morpheus was, ‘I just can’t. . .’_

Coming back to the present, Rumplestiltskin realized he was still writhing on the ground as Zelena laughed and Regina smiled. The pain let up for a moment and he was able to catch his breath. He gasped in short bursts of air as his mind struggled to catch up.  
“Stop. I-I’ll. . . take it off,” Rumplestiltskin gasped as he rolled onto his elbow, away from the sisters.  
Slowly, shakily, pushing himself to his feet, he began to remove his shirt. He threw off the jacket and started unbuttoning his purple dress shirt as Regina watched intently. He saw the wicked amusement in Zelena’s eyes as his shirt fell to the floor. Regina’s eyes widened as she saw the scars adorning his torso. The thick line from his shoulder to his hip was partly obscured by all the wounds from the monkeys. Still, Regina did not heal the deep cuts. She took in every detail of his wiry frame. His slim body was even skinnier due to the fact he hadn’t been eating. His muscles were still spasming in random orders as the magic receded from his body.  
“Well, sister dear, I think you really did train him quite thoroughly,” Regina smiled at her sister and turned back to the imp.  
He realized Regina was a little pale at the sight of him. She looked uncomfortable and almost green. Rather ironic. Rumplestiltskin knew that for all her evil deeds, under all that, Regina was still that innocent little girl who didn’t want to be like her mother. The worst physical harm she had ever caused didn’t even touch on what she was seeing now. She almost seemed repulsed by Zelena’s twisted glee at seeing her ‘property’ marked.  
“Let’s eat,” Regina said as she unwrapped her sandwich and Zelena’s burger.  
“May I put my shirt back on?” Rumplestiltskin muttered and averted his eyes to the ground in embarrassment.  
“Y-yes. Go ahead,” the queen looked at him as he put his shirt and jacket back on.  
“Do I really have to eat?” Rumplestiltskin once more questioned.  
“Yes, you do,” Regina’s expression hardened.  
He unwrapped his burger and looked at it from all angles. He was so hungry, but the thought of food made his stomach roll. He shoved the first bite into his mouth and tried not to gag when he swallowed it. Regina watched him curiously out of the corner of her eye as Zelena talked to her gleefully. He was eating as slowly as possible, trying not to vomit. Every time he saw Zelena, though, it made him sick. He still hadn’t wretched by the time he finished, but he knew he was close.  
“Okay, Rumple. We need to go meet the Charmings and their ‘royal guards’ to discuss what we’ll do with you,” Regina said sarcastically.  
Rumplestiltskin got up and readied himself to leave. He was proud of himself for keeping his food down. Maybe this time it wouldn’t come back up.  
“See you tomorrow, doll. We’re going to have so much fun,” Zelena smiled at him.  
It was too much, he couldn’t take it. He turned and braced his right hand against the wall as his left curled around his stomach. Bile rose in his throat and he doubled over and wretched. Everything he had just eaten came back up. By the time he had nothing left in his stomach, he was still gagging and choking. The empty feeling in his stomach started as an ache and spread to a sharp pain as he gasped in ragged attempts at filling his lungs. He fell to his knees and grabbed for the bag their food had come in. He grabbed some of the napkins and wiped his face of the vomit.  
“Sorry,” he whispered to Regina as he unsteadily stood back up.  
He had a horrid taste in his mouth and his throat burned painfully. The only thing that burned more, though, was the shame that his new and old mistress had seen his moment of weakness. Regina just stared at him and waved her hand. The sick on the ground was cleaned away and so was all the trash in the room.  
“Let’s go,” Regina ordered.  
Rumplestiltskin was thankful she didn’t mention it as they ascended the stairs. He was most certainly not ready for the coming arrangements. Whatever the Charmings had planned for him, he was sure to be caged. His claustrophobia was already bad, but his PTSD would only get worse with the constant fear and stress. Regina had, at first, seemed all too happy to punish him if he were to be a ‘bad boy’. Who knew what she had planned next.


	13. Caged With No Way Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Ha! Freedom? That kind of freedom is relative."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's kind of dumb, but I only figured out how to use Rich Text on AO3 yesterday, so I'm sorry if the format isn't consistent with the other chapters. Just a warning, I'm not a Belle or Captain Hook fan. Although neither of them play a huge part in this chapter, they might appear later. I do not paint favorable pictures for either of them, so you have been warned. Enjoy the chapter!

Chapter 13

Walking down the street, Rumplestiltskin began to once again wonder where the town would decide to put him. He also wondered who all would be there. It was an endless trap to ask anyone for mercy, though. He didn’t even know if Emme would keep fighting for him. What if she decided he wasn’t worth the trouble?

“Where are we going?” Rumplestiltskin asked quietly.

“The meeting hall,” Regina answered smoothly.

“Do I get to plead my case, or am I just to be caged like an animal?” he inquired.

“I believe it’s already decided,” the queen replied honestly.

“Who’s going to be there?” the imp persisted.

“You’ll see,” Regina said.

She looked over at him like she had something else to say, but then she just kept walking. They walked toward the hall in complete silence. Rumplestiltskin could tell the queen wanted to ask him something, but she was keeping quiet.

“You know, dearie, whatever question you have, I have to answer it,” the imp reminded her.

“Did- did Zelena really do all that to you?” Regina looked at him out of the corner of her eye.

“Yes,” he answered simply.

“How often did she. . . punish you?” she pressed softly.

“Would everyone stop finding other words for it? She  _ tortured  _ me almost every day,” Rumplestiltskin corrected.

“Is that why you want to kill her and laugh?” Regina repeated his words.

“No. I want to kill her because she killed my son. I want to laugh because of all the things she did to me,” the imp stated truthfully.

“I’m not going to do that to you.”

“What?”

“I think you deserve a good smack in the head, and maybe a bit of pain, but what she did is just. . .”

“Wicked,” Rumplestiltskin finished for her.

Regina nodded. He had to admit, he was glad she saw it that way. If she hadn’t said anything about it, he would have been worried. He was in uncharted territory, and he didn’t possess any semblance of control. Before, he might have been able to work with that, but now, everybody  _ knew  _ he wasn’t in control. That made all the difference in a game of minds.

They entered the meeting hall to see multiple people sitting around a circular table and talking amicably.  _ ‘Welcome to The Round Table: Storybrooke Version.’  _ Rumplestiltskin thought with a smirk. Then, he saw Killian Jones sitting in a chair next to Emma, and his blood boiled. The dirty pirate appeared to be trying to start a flirtatious conversation with the Savior. Rumplestiltskin knew he had no claim to Emma, but he wanted to bash the idiots head in. Sitting across from them, Charming seemed to be thinking along the same lines while he only half listened to Snow.

“Is everybody ready?” Regina called as she walked to the head of the table.

She motioned for Rumplestiltskin to stand behind her, and he did just that with a scowl. He got a good look at everyone when they were all properly seated. It started with Regina, then, going clockwise, Emma, Killian, Geppetto, Jimminy, Granny, Red, the Blue Fairy, the seven dwarves- he couldn’t remember which one was which -, Snow, Charming, and. . . and Belle. When Rumplestiltskin’s eyes locked on hers, he quickly looked down and willed his face into an indifferent expression. Regina put the dagger down on the table in front of her and the imp couldn’t help but cringe when everyones’ attention was drawn to it. He immediately started sweating.  _ His  _ dagger was out in the open. It was just sitting on the table like an ordinary object.

“How will we start?” Regina asked everyone.

“How about where we’ll put him!” the dwarf with the bad attitude yelled.

“That’s a good place to start,” Regina nodded her head.

“So I take it I don’t get a trial?” Rumplestiltskin’s lip curled ever so slightly in humor.

“What’s to judge? After everything you’ve done,” Granny inserted, earning a horrified look from her granddaughter.

“We haven’t even charged him with a crime!” Red yelled indignantly.

“Okay. Murder, assalt, and attempted murder. There are three reasons,” Charming cut in.

“For the record, I haven’t killed anyone since I got to this world. Not as Rumplestiltskin at least,” Rumplestiltskin defended, “And I have a very good reason for wanting to kill Zelena.”

“Ah, throw the crocodile in a cell and be down with it. We all know he’s guilty, right love?” Killian said, looking at Emma.

“I think he should get a chance to defend himself,” Emma looked sharply at everyone, daring them to disagree.

“Aye, that’s a grand idea,” Killian agreed immediately.

Rumplestiltskin rolled his eyes and scoffed quietly at the pirate. Killian was such a fool. He was shallow.

“How can we have a trial when he doesn’t have a case. He has no way of arguing against any of this,” Belle glared at him.

“Why is she even here?” Rumplestiltskin asked indignantly.

“Because I’m part of the council,” Belle said, straightening her spine.

At that, Rumplestiltskin outright snorted. He began laughing and actually thought he would start crying before he composed himself once more. Everyone was staring at him strangely and he just waved his hand as if to say ‘inside joke’.  _ ‘So, little Belle finally gets to be with the heroes. Now she can go be THEIR pet.’  _ Rumplestiltskin thought gleefully. 

“If you all think he’s going to lose, why not let him make his case and then just vote on it,” Red supplied.

Everyone looked at each other. Some looked skeptical, some nodded, some shrugged.

“I think we should at least give him a chance,” Jimminy, always the good soul, put in.

“Okay, that sounds fair,” Geppetto put his hand on Archie’s shoulder and nodded.

Everyone nodded along and agreed.

“Okay, Rumplestiltskin, time to talk,” Regina turned to look at him with a smile.

“Well, first of all, I’d just love to call attention to the fact that nearly everyone in this room hates me because of my deals. It really isn’t my fault that no one reads the fine print. I excessively stress that point. And no one ever listens to my simple warning, ‘all magic comes with a price’. Really, there’s no reason to hate me for other peoples’ decisions,” Rumplestiltskin started out with a thoughtful frown at everyone.

“You trick people into making those deals! You’ve been taking away everyone’s freedom for a while, now we should get to take yours,” one of the dwarves yelled.

“He’s right, Rumplestiltskin. You have been tricking people for centuries, now we have the opportunity to fix that,” Blue said condescendingly.

“Ha! Freedom? That kind of freedom is relative. Freedom is never what it looks like. Oftentimes, your choices aren’t your own. People want to say they own their freedom, but in reality, their decisions are easily manipulated to someone else’s desire. Freedom is only the illusion that you own yourself. Freedom only extends to your thoughts. Just because I happen to be good at manipulating those thoughts, doesn’t mean I should be locked up. You want to take away not only my physical freedom, but my own body. You want to trap me in a cage that I can never be free of, and then you want to make me your slave. You all call yourselves fair heroes, but you jump at the chance to trap me in my own body. Do you have any idea how many cages I’ve been in during my life? How can you hold my very soul and still say you’re doing the right thing?” Rumplestiltskin smiled crookedly as if he thought it was all funny, it wasn’t.

Everyone stared back at him in shock and for some, shame. Jimminy and Snow averted their gazes sadly, realizing the full weight of what they were doing. Emma and Red smiled at him encouragingly. Granny and a few of the dwarves started fidgeting nervously while Geppetto looked indecisive. Then there was Regina, Killian, Charming, the Blue Fairy, and Belle, who all just looked at him angrily.

“Your tongue gets you many places, imp, but it won’t save you from this,” Regina sneered.

“Just because you can find a way to blame everything on us doesn’t excuse the fact that you still deserve to be locked up,” Belle backed the queen up.

“Come now, Crocodile. You’re as guilty as they come, mate,” Killian smiled.

Blue just shook her head.

“You aren’t the same as everyone else. We wouldn’t normally do this to anyone, but you’re not anyone. You aren’t even human, you’re a monster. You’re a beast that needs caging,” Charming snarled.

“And what makes me so inhuman?” Rumplestiltskin questioned.

“Everything that you do. Everything that you are,” the prince stated certainly.

The imp raised an eyebrow, but David elaborated no further. Geppetto, Granny, and the dwarves seemed on board with Charming after that. Rumplestiltskin’s heart began to sink even further. Snow and Jimminy didn’t say anything, instead finding sudden interest in the table. Red and Emma looked at each other defeatedly.

“So, where will we put him?” Blue asked.

“With Zelena!” Grumpy- he figured it out -yelled.

Rumplestiltskin’s head shot up at that and snapped over to Regina. She was looking at him, and he pleaded with his eyes. He wouldn’t say a thing in front of anyone else, but she knew. Regina didn’t know everything, but she knew enough. He shook his head just slightly at her.

“No. We can find somewhere else,” Regina said.

“Why? Let the witch mock him,” Killian grinned at her.

“He shouldn’t have to be down there. Not after Zelena t-” Regina began.

“Tried to use magic. She summoned that demon, so who’s to say what else she could do? What if they started plotting an escape?” Emma cut across before Regina could spill his secret.

The Savior glared harshly at Regina, and after a moment, Red joined in. Regina gave in and nodded along with the plan. Rumplestiltskin mouthed ‘thank you’ to Emma when she looked at him. Emma nodded at him with a sad smile.

“What about the station?” Red suddenly asked.

“What about it, girl?” Granny looked at her curiously.

“We never have both cells occupied. Why don’t we put him in one of them? I mean, if we’re going to be using him to solve our Zelena problem, it will be easier. Plus, Emma can keep an eye on him,” the wolf stated.

“That’s actually a good idea,” Regina looked shocked.

“Awwww. I can’t get drunk if I know Rumplestiltskin will be my cellmate!” Grumpy yelled.

“All the more reason to do it,” Emma said with a frown towards the dwarf.

“All in favor?” Regina called.

Everyone, even a reluctant Grumpy, raised their hands slowly.

“Then, it’s decided. Rumplestiltskin will be kept at the station,” Regina announced.

“Yipee,” Rumplestiltskin muttered, making Emma smile while no one else heard him.

Maybe, if he was lucky, she would kiss him through the bars. Then, he remembered something else he had been wanting to do.

“Regina? Before I’m caged, I have something extremely important I have to give to Belle,” Rumplestiltskin looked at the queen.

“What is it?” Regina questioned.

“May I?” he ignored her.

“Go ahead,” Regina stood.

“I want nothing from you,” Belle sneered.

“Oh, you don’t have a choice on this, dearie,” Rumplestiltskin smirked.

“As I recall, you’re the one without a choice,” Belle looked at him defiantly.

“Well, this still stands,  _ darling _ ,” the imp gave her a crooked grin.

Walking over to her, he drew a paper from his jacket and slapped it down on the table. Then, he stepped back and smiled, gesturing for her to open it. She did, and her reaction was priceless. Belle’s mouth dropped open and she shrieked like a little girl. Her eyes glazed over in fury as she looked at her former lover. His smile grew until his gold-capped tooth showed.

“You can’t do that!” Belle squealed.

“Oh, why yes, I can. And I have. Have a nice life,” Rumplestiltskin smirked.

He walked over to Emma and held his fists in front of him. She stood up and handcuffed him, giving him a questioning gaze. Then, Grumpy shouted the answer she was looking for.

“You evicted Belle from the library!”

Emma looked at him with an incredulous look on her face that slowly morphed into pride. He winked at her and smiled some more. As Emma was leading him out, he whispered something to her with another smirk.

“Do you have to be married to get conjugal visits?” 


	14. Leather Pants Are Worth It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "About. . . modeling those leather pants."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The action will begin again soon, but I though our favorite imp deserved a break, and maybe some fun. Writing GoldenSwan is way more fun than it should be. I get too much pleasure from their sarcastic conversations.

Chapter 14

Rumplestiltskin was honestly not that angry at where he was caged. Of course, he wanted to turn that council into snails, but there were far worse places they could have put him. For instance, instead of enduring the wonderful company of Emma Swan, he could have listened for hours to Zelena’s taunts. The jail cell was most certainly an upgrade from Regina’s basement.  _ ‘And I’ll get to spend all day with Emma. Charming can try to keep me away, but in the end, his baby girl keeps company with the devil.’ _ Rumplestiltskin thought with a downright evil grin.

“What are you so happy about? We weren’t able to get your dagger back,” Emma sighed forlornly.

“Worry not, my dear Swan, I shall find a way,” Rumplestiltskin promised.

“We. We will find a way,” she corrected.

“And, to answer your first question, I get to spend all day with you,” the imp smiled triumphantly.

“Through the bars of a cell,” Emma looked at him skeptically.

“Perhaps I wouldn’t feel so sad about it if I were to receive a kiss,” Rumplestiltskin smirked at her as he leaned against the bars.

“Mhmm. Nice try, Don Juan,” Emma looked him up and down.

“How many times must I tell you Charmings? Don Juan was nothing before he made a deal with me,” the imp frowned.

Emma looked at him questioningly, but he did not elaborate any further. Her father had used the same moniker for him when trying to assist him in getting a date with the cursed version of Belle. He didn’t like the reminder.

“So, what do you want for dinner?” Emma asked with another smile.

“I’m not particularly hungry,” Rumplestiltskin admitted as he recalled the events from lunch.

“Okay. Suit yourself,” Emma looked at him as if she wanted to say something else.

She opened her mouth and then closed it again. Her eyes scrolled up and down his body as she thought. He stepped back from the bars so she could get a better look. Just to be more of the imp she knew he was, he turned all the way around for her and posed in several different stances so she could properly admire him.

“Do these jeans make my butt look big?” Rumplestiltskin smirked at her teasingly.

“I don’t think anything could make your butt look big,” Emma muttered under her breath.

“What was that, dearest?” the imp inquired.

“I was just thinking about your earlier offer,” the Savior looked down at the floor.

“And, may I ask, which one would that be?” he knew exactly what she was asking about.

“You know. . .” Emma looked him straight in the eyes.

“Mmm. What am I supposed to know?” Rumplestiltskin stared right back.

“About. . . modeling those leather pants,” Emma whispered quietly.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t quite hear you,” he smiled innocently.

“Do. You. Own. A. Pair. Of. Leather. Pants?” Emma enunciated rather loudly.

“Speak too loud and your dear parents might hear. Whatever would they think if only they knew their perfect angel wanted to gape at their devious imp’s behind?” Rumplestiltskin’s smirk grew so much that he looked more like the Cheshire cat.

“I do not!” she blushed furiously.

Rumplestiltskin looked at her with disbelief.

“Just answer the question!” Emma pressed.

“Not in this world, but that could be easily remedied,” she swore his head was getting bigger.

“And how exactly would that be?” she narrowed her eyes.

“Well, I do not own a pair of leather pants for wear. But, I do in my shop. They’re vintage,” Rumplestiltskin grinned at her.

She could practically hear the ‘wink, wink, nudge, nudge’ included in that. Emma weighed the pros and cons of getting them.  _ ‘Get caught in Gold’s shop. Get to see him in leather pants. My parents asking questions. Getting to see how good he actually looks.’ _ Emma thought back and forth. She had to admit, if even Snow White thought he wore those pants perfectly, they had to look good. If she got caught sneaking out of Gold’s shop with leather pants in hand, it would be hard to explain away. In the end, she decided the risk was worth the reward.

“Where in your shop?” she decided to go after them.

“Hung up behind the vintage dresses. Black ones, if you please,” Rumplestiltskin lilted.

“Okay. Don’t go anywhere.”

Rumplestiltskin snorted, “Yes, I was planning on taking a trip to Disney World.”

After she finished rolling her eyes at him, she walked out of the station and set a course for his shop. Emma felt guilty for not being able to get him his freedom, but if she could make it better, she would. She had been surprised when he asked for a kiss, though she had played it off. He was definitely getting more brazen now that she hadn’t pushed him away. Her face had been burning earlier at his question as they left the meeting hall. She still wasn’t sure how many of the things he said were meant to be teasing, and how many were serious. Then, she thought of why she left the station and her face burned once more. How was he doing this to her? She had never been like a blushing virgin or a shy schoolgirl with a crush, it wasn’t her style. Emma suddenly got irritated. He was getting far too deep under her skin and far too comfortable in his little corner of her mind. She swore he was tittering in her ear at every turn.

Finally, she reached his shop. The sign still read ‘Open’ and the door was still unlocked. Upon entering, she noticed the baby mobile. It caught her eye every time she stepped foot in the treasure trove, and she had found out why. Before the curse, it was to be hers. Its former purpose was to hang over her crib and produce childish wonder as she cooed and cried to her parents. A part of her still resented Rumplestiltskin for that. Emma knew her parents would also have done anything to get her back, but did he have to ruin her childhood? There were so many memories she cried over, so many things she never got. She remembered Neverland and the Lost Boys. Was she always destined to be a Lost Girl? The Savior who never had a family. She was responsible for everyone else’s happy endings, but what about hers? Emma knew it was selfish, but she didn’t want to suffer forever just because her parents decided to be heroes and send her through a wardrobe so that she could come back to a world she was never a part of. So she could be there for all the people who depended on her.  _ ‘Stop it Emma! You sound like you’re having a mid-life crisis!’  _ She berated herself as she snapped out of her reverie and ventured to the back of the shop. She spotted the rack of clothes in the left corner of Gold’s office. Moving the clothes aside, she saw exactly what she was looking for. A clean, shiny pair of black leather pants. She noted that they looked to be in fine condition.  _ ‘I wonder if he wears these more often than he lets on.’  _ Emma thought with a smirk. She grabbed the pants and walked out the shop door. Just as the cool evening air hit her face, she stopped dead in her tracks.

“Emma? What are you doing?”

{=}-{=}-{=}-{=}-{=}

After Emma left, Rumplestiltskin wasn’t quite sure what to do. For once, there was nothing to plan. He had to rely solely on other people this time. There was nothing to organize, fix, or examine in his little jail cell. There was nothing to read, nothing to write, no one to irritate. He was just left alone with his Swan related thoughts and a stiff, firm bed. Emma was forever surprising, but always predictable. He always knew what she would do in a tough situation, but how she handled him was a different matter altogether. He was almost giddy with the thought of modeling his favorite leather wear for Emma. It was a bit of guilty pleasure for him to walk around his house with those leather pants on. He didn’t want her to know that he had been wearing them in this world, though. He just missed his Misthaven clothes; they were always so comfortable. What would she think if she saw what he looked like in the Enchanted Forest? She would most certainly recoil at the sight of him. He was under no illusions of grandeur. The women around him fainted of fear, not awe. Even Belle had thought he covered his mirrors because he was ugly. Surely if someone as polite as Belle was in his castle thought he looked beastly, Emma would gag at his appearance. Or, perhaps she would be more like Cora, who savored the darkness that he exuded from his very skin. The Swan would most certainly be repelled by all that magic. Then, his thoughts turned to her kiss once again. That was an amazing kiss. It made him want to spew poetry and write love letters.  _ ‘My heart tries to beat rapidly out of my chest every time our eyes meet.’  _ Rumplestiltskin thought wryly. Truthfully, it wasn’t that far off, just a little too sappy. What had Zelena said? Something about his heart leaking through his eyes when he was thinking of her. He hoped she didn’t notice. She didn’t need to know that she could send him to his knees with a simple smile. Rumplestiltskin couldn’t believe she was still standing with him after everything. He wasn’t sure what to make of their. . . relationship. They were dating, weren’t they? How did she view all of this? As he laid back on his bed, he couldn’t help but wonder if Emma was just leading him along so she could reject him in the end.  _ ‘Wouldn’t be the first time.’ _

{=}-{=}-{=}-{=}-{=}

“Emma? What are you doing?” Charming asked, shocked.

Why was his daughter coming out of the imp’s shop? With. . . were those  _ leather pants _ ? Why in all the realms would Emma be stealing leather pants? She wasn’t planning to go off with the pirate, was she?

“Emma, I swear, if those are for you and Hook-”

“What?! Oh, no!  _ Ew!  _ No, no, no! I don’t need that mental image!” Emma looked at him in a horrified manner.

“Thank God. So, why do you have leather pants?” David raised an eyebrow.

“I. . . was curious,” Emma lied through her teeth.

“Curious?”

“I’ve never worn leather pants before.”

“So you decided to take Rumplestiltskin’s?”

“Umm. . . yes. We wear the same size pants,” Emma confirmed lamely.

She suddenly wondered if they actually were. Then, to her immense embarrassment, her mind drifted to the image of both her and Gold walking down the street wearing leather jackets and pants. It could be nice. . . 

“And it’s not like he’s using them,” Emma reasoned more confidently, shaking the fantasy out of her head and spotting a bag in her father’s hand at the same time.

“Oh. Umm, okay? I was actually just on my way to see you. We found Robin. He was one of the monkeys Red almost ate, but he’s okay now. Aside from a bite mark that’s going to leave a nice scar, he’ll heal just fine,” Charming relayed the news.

“Oh! That’s wonderful! I bet Regina and Roland are so happy,” Emma smiled.

“They are,” David shuffled his feet awkwardly.

“Well, I need to get back to the station,” Emma said. 

“Oh, yeah. I, uh, got you and Gold some dinner,” he handed her the bag he was holding.

“Thank you,” Emma smiled tensely.

“Your welcome. Guess I’ll just. . . head back. Bye,” David waved and started walking back.

Emma’s cheeks burned as she made her way back to the station. Rumplestiltskin better look good in these pants.

“Honey, I’m home!” Emma yelled out teasingly.

“What a relief. I was beginning to worry I would have to go get you,” Rumplestiltskin sat up on his bed. 

“Sorry. I ran into Charming,” Emma apologized.

“Oooh. And how did you explain the pants?” Rumplestiltskin smirked at her.

“I said we were the same size. I told him I wanted to try them on,” the Savior looked down.

Rumplestiltskin’s eyes roamed over her body as he thought about it. He got up and walked over to the bars.

“I would very much like to see that,” Rumplestiltskin purred.

“Oh, I bet you would. But right now it’s my turn,” Emma pushed the pants through the bars.

Rumplestiltskin looked at her expectantly and she wondered what he was waiting for. When he raised an eyebrow and she still did not move, he smirked at her.

“Well, my dear, if your goal was only to watch me declothe, all you had to do was ask,” Rumplestiltskin winked at her as he reached for his belt.

“Oh! Right,” Emma spun around so quick she was dizzy.

She heard the snap of metal and then the rustle of denim as he removed his jeans. He shimmied into the leather pants as she faced her office. She leaned her back against the bars while he struggled to get the pants on. Apparently, skin-tight leather was harder to put on when you didn’t have magic. She tilted her head just a little and caught a glimpse of something in her office window. Squinting and tilting her head a little more, she discovered it was a reflection. Upon closer inspection, she realized it was angled perfectly towards his cell. She pushed off the bars and saw the reflection of him pulling the leather pants up his legs with them only half on. Her cheeks burned red and she wanted to look away, but she just couldn’t. She watched him slowly get the skin tight leather into place as he finally finished. After he tied the string in the back he checked himself over and smiled.

“Okay, Emma. You can turn around now,” the imp announced, unaware of the peeking she had already treated herself to.

Emma turned around and her jaw dropped. He looked so much better without the distortion of the window reflection. Those pants were tight in all the right places. Emma, in a daze, motioned for him to turn all the way around. He turned slowly until his back was facing her.  _ ‘Dang. Mom was definitely understating how amazing those pants looked.’  _ Emma admired his rear for several seconds before he turned back around to face her.

“So. . . worth the trouble?” Rumplestiltskin grinned.

“H-how do you- do you, like- how do you pull that off!” Emma finally stuttered out as blood rushed to her face.

“What? You didn’t think I’d look good?” Rumplestiltskin pouted as he walked over to the bars, sticking his arms through the gaps and hanging off the door.

“Not  _ that  _ good!” Emma squeaked.

“So you approve?” he smiled.

“Oh, no. I think it looks absolutely horrible,” Emma said sarcastically.

“Oh, okay. I’ll just take them off then,” he leaned towards his jeans.

Before he could pick them up, though, Emma bent down and pulled them out of the cell. She walked over to her office, folded the pants, and put them in her desk.

“Really, Emma? Stealing my pants?” Rumplestiltskin raised a mocking eyebrow at her.

“Rum, it is a crime that you wear anything but those,” Emma looked at him seriously.

“Is it a crime if I don’t wear anything at all?” the imp’s smirk returned full force.

“Mmm, I’ll have to think on that one,” she smiled coquettishly.

He really didn’t think he would last in leather pants if she kept smiling at him like that. She was going to kill him.

“I have dinner,” Emma announced.

“Dinner? I’m not hungry,” Rumplestiltskin looked at her.

“Well, I am,” Emma plopped down, cross legged, in front of his cell with the bag in hand.

__ Emma opened the bag and saw a cheeseburger and a piece of toast. Naturally, toast is what her father would get for their prisoner. She supposed it was better than nothing. After unwrapping her burger, she stopped before taking a bite. 

“Does it look good?” Rumplestiltskin asked almost wistfully.

Instead of answering, Emma held out her hand. Rumplestiltskin stared down at her closed fist for a moment in confusion. When Emma uncurled her fingers, he saw a ring of pickles in her hand. He looked up at her and she pushed the pickles further towards him. He sat down across from her in the same manner and took the pickles from her.

“I know it’s not the jar I promised, but consider it a down payment,” Emma smiled, “And how do you sit like that in tight pants?”

“I got used to moving around in leather pants a while ago. You would be surprised how flexible I can be in these,” Rumplestiltskin said the last part with a wink.

Emma almost choked on her burger as her face burned. She threw a fry at him and he caught it in his mouth, smiling at her smugly.

“Jerk,” Emma breathed quietly.

He just smiled at her. She finished her burger and moved up to the little couch after throwing the wrapper away. She looked at him, and he suddenly thought of something he had wanted to tell her.

“I’m sorry,” Rumplestiltskin whispered.

“About what?” Emma looked at him confusedly.

“The curse. It took away your life. You could have been a princess in a castle. You could have had loving parents and subjects. You could have been skipping through fields and picking flowers,” Rumplestiltskin looked her way sadly.

“You know, at first I hated you for all of that. Then, I thought some more about it. I wouldn’t be the same without the hard life I had. I wouldn’t have learned my lessons. I wouldn’t have Henry. I missed out on so much, but I don’t blame you. You only wanted your son back. I might be seriously messed up, but I know a lot more about life than I would have if I had been a princess,” a tear slipped down Emma’s cheek.

Rumplestiltskin kneeled next to the bars, sliding his hand through to wipe the tear away. What had happened with Zelena had made him think, and he knew he was sorry. She just needed to know, too.

“You aren’t messed up, you’re just a little broken. All the best things are the ones with character. It means you aren’t shallow,” Rumplestiltskin whispered.

“I’m a lot more than a little broken,” Emma said quietly.

“Not more broken than me,” he kept his hand on her face.

“Maybe we can fix each other,” she breathed as his face came closer to the bars.

Rumplestiltskin took her lips in his and poured all his emotion into it. He kissed her like he wanted nothing more than to stay with her forever. He kissed her until her head swam with thoughts of the future. All she saw was them, together. When they came up for air, Emma was crying for a different reason.

“We’ll get through this. If the Snow White and Prince Charming story can survive, then the story of the Savior and the Monster can survive,” Rumplestiltskin smiled.

“You’re not a monster, just a man who’s seen too much of the world and made some mistakes,” Emma smiled through her tears.

“And that’s exactly why we can make it through anything. Because we both see the broken hearts and not the cold facades,” Rumplestiltskin sat back against the wall and leaned against the wall.

Emma stretched out on the couch and put her hand through the bars. Rumplestiltskin intertwined their fingers and watched as her breathing evened out and she fell into the depths of sleep. And, for the first time in a long time, Rumplestiltskin drifted into a dreamless sleep as he thought of Emma.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anybody know where Zelena's magic is coming from?


	15. Magic Trick

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Okay, calm down. Remember, magic is connected to-”
> 
> “Emotion. Yah, yah, yah. I’m not ready for this!”

Chapter 15

Red woke up early in the morning, intent on sneaking out before Granny saw her. She had somewhere to be and someone to pick up. Moving through her room as quietly as possible, Red put on her clothes- Red’s clothes, not Ruby’s - and put some light makeup on. Ever since the curse broke, she had been slowly breaking the habits of Ruby. For example, too much makeup, revealing clothes, and sleeping with every guy that looked at her sideways. Before they were sent to the Land With No Magic, she had been a virgin. Red was still angry at Regina for taking that away from her. She had only ever loved Peter, and after eating him, she kept her distance from everyone else. She didn’t want to hurt anyone she cared about, not again.

After getting ready, she grabbed her backpack and climbed out the window. Her backpack was equipped with snacks, water, and games so they wouldn’t get bored. She got into her car, which she parked a block away from the inn so Granny couldn’t hear her start it. Red drove out to where Henry’s castle used to be, and she saw the boy sitting on the ground, looking around sadly.

“What’s wrong kid?” Red asked after getting out of her car.

“I miss my castle. I had to sacrifice it for Operation Cobra,” Henry looked over at her.

“Operation Cobra huh?” Red gave him a smile.

“Yah, to break the curse. The first one,” he clarified.

“I figured you helped with that,” Red gestured to her car.

Henry hopped up and got into her car with a huge smile. He looked around the inside and pressed some of the shiny buttons. Red cringed, she would have to clean everything again, he was touching it  _ all _ .

“How did you get out without alerting Madame Mayor? Or does she think you’re at the arcade at five in the morning?” Red started the car and got to the road.

“No, I sneaked out. She’ll never know,” Henry smiled deviously.

“You know, sometimes it’s creepy how much you sound like Rumplestiltskin,” she shook her head and smiled at him.

“Well, Grandpa does have some pretty awesome prank ideas,” the boy informed her, then his face twisted in a grimace.

“What’s wrong?” Red looked at him worriedly.

“I can’t keep calling him Grandpa if he’s dating my mom,” Henry made a disgusted face, “That’s just weird.”

“Yah, it is. I’m sure he would be fine if you called him Rum,” the waitress suggested.

“I think I will,” Henry agreed just as they pulled up to the station. 

They got out of the car and saw Emma’s yellow bug still parked outside the station. They looked at each other and smirked. Emma probably stayed with him last night. Red suddenly remembered what she had heard Rumplestiltskin say to her when they left the meeting hall. Her wolf hearing really could come in useful sometimes.

“Um, Henry? I think I’ll go in first,” Red didn’t want the kid to see anything too graphic if Emma had said no to Rumplestiltskin’s question.

“No problem. I’ll stand guard,” Henry saluted with a silly grin.

Red went to the door and pushed lightly. It was still unlocked. She slipped into the station and walked with her right hand on the wall. When she rounded the corner, she had to resist the urge to  _ ‘Awwwww’  _ at the sight. Rumplestiltskin had his back against the wall and was slumped on the bars in sleep. His fingers were intertwined with Emma’s and the Sheriff was laying on the small couch as a little bit of drool escaped the corner of her mouth. Her hair was all frizzy and messed up while Rumplestiltskin’s was hanging in front of his face. Red got out her phone and silently inched closer. When she was only a few feet away, she realized Rumplestiltskin was wearing leather pants. She let her eyes roam over his body for a moment before snapping a picture of the two of them and sending it to her computer.

“You two are adorable,” Red raised her voice slightly.

Rumplestiltskin’s eyes shot open and he sat up straight as a board. He almost looked like he expected to be attacked, but then he saw Red and relaxed slightly. He looked over at Emma and smiled. Moving to sit on his knees, Rumplestiltskin pushed her hair out of her mouth and smirked.

“Take a picture,” he suggested.

Red got out her phone and took another picture just so he didn’t know about the first one. The way the imp looked at her Savior, she could tell he had fallen hard. He looked at her like she was the only person worth his time, like he would lasso the moon and bring it to earth for her. He was always so cold and collected that it shocked her to be able to see right through him. His eyes were practically two pages full of nothing but words of love. Rumplestiltskin squeezed Emma’s hand just slightly and waited. She must have been a deep sleeper because even after a few nudges, she didn’t even stir.

“Emma, your father’s here,” Rumplestiltskin whispered in her ear.

“What?!” Emma sat up immediately.

“Relax, dearest, I wasn’t serious,” he smiled at her.

“Thank God,” Emma sighed.

She slipped her hand out of his, much to his chagrin, and straightened up her appearance. Rumplestiltskin stood and dusted off invisible dust from his clothes.

“Are those leather pants?” Red asked.

“Yes. It’s a long story,” he smiled at her.

“But the bottom line is, I wanted to see him in leather pants,” Emma shared a glance with the wolf.

Red smiled and winked at her. She knew exactly what the Sheriff meant. As much as everyone hated Rumplestiltskin, no one could argue that he looked darn fine in those pants. They were tight in all the right places.

“Oh! I almost forgot. Henry! You can come in now!” Red yelled.

“You brought Henry?” Emma’s face lit up.

“Yah, we both wanted to see you,” Red looked to Rumplestiltskin.

“Thank you,” the imp smiled at her warmly.

Henry bounded in with a huge smile. He ran to Emma first and gave her a big hug. Then, he attempted to hug his grandfather through the bars. Rumplestiltskin knelt down and stuck his arms through the bars so he could give Henry the best hug he could manage.

“It’s good to see you, Henry,” Rumplestiltskin said softly.

“It’s good to see you too. Is it okay to call you Rum? It sounds weird to call you Grandpa when you’re dating my mom,” Henry gave him a lopsided grin.

Was it just Red’s imagination, or did Rumplestiltskin’s face flush a little? He attempted an awkward smile as Emma turned into a bright red tomato in the corner. Red snickered and smiled at how straightforward Henry was. 

“Yes. You can call me whatever you like. And Red, you can call me Rum as well,” he smiled at them both.

Red was glad he said that because she didn’t really know where they stood. Should she call him Mr. Gold, Gold, Rumplestiltskin, Rumple, or Rum? She thought about it and decided Rum was a good nickname. It rolled off her tongue nicely.

“Rum, why are you wearing leather pants?” Henry questioned.

“Umm, they’re comfortable?” he answered.

“Really? They look tight. Like, painfully tight,” the boy observed.

“After wearing them many times, I’m used to it,” Rumplestiltskin admitted.

“Were they uncomfortable when you first started wearing them?” Henry looked genuinely curious.

“Well, when I first became the Dark One, all my senses doubled. When I first started wearing leather pants, it was. . . slightly painful,” Rumplestiltskin definitely had a little bit of a red hue to his neck that time.

“That makes sense. I wouldn’t wear them, the pain isn’t worth looking good,” Henry said seriously.

“I think they look stylish,” Rumplestiltskin’s impish smirk returned to his face.

“And, he doesn’t have anything to change into anyway,” Emma looked at him and dared him to argue.

Red looked at Emma questioningly. Where did his jeans go? Where did he even  _ get  _ leather pants?

“That’s because you stole my pants, Emma,” Rumplestiltskin leveled her with a mischievous glare.

Red doubled over laughing as tears of mirth fell down her face. She fell to the ground and clutched her side as she laughed.  _ ‘That’s a brilliant plan, Emma. Steal his pants so he has to wear the leather ones.’  _ Red had to admit, she would have done something like that to keep him in those. They looked amazing. As her laughter calmed down she caught a glimpse of Henry’s bemused expression.

“You stole his  _ pants _ ? How did you do that?” Henry looked at his mother.

“After he changed, I took his jeans and put them in my desk,” Emma looked embarrassed.

“You know, all you had to do was ask me to stay in these pants,” Rumplestiltskin smirked, “Or ask me to take them off.”

“I swear I will punch you,” Emma glared while Red snickered.

Henry still looked confused, but he just shrugged. Red was having so much fun just watching them. They were so amusing.

“We brought some games,” Red announced.

“Yah! We thought you might be bored,” Henry added.

“That sounds lovely. Although, if I get bored, I’m sure Emma and I can come up with  _ something  _ to do,” Rumplestiltskin raised his eyebrows at her.

“Henry, what games did you bring?” Emma looked away from the imp.

“Do you like Monopoly?” Henry looked to his grandfather, oblivious to his flirtatious antics.

“I love that game, Henry,” Rumplestiltskin smiled.

“I’m sure you do. You’ve already played the life size version with this town,” Ruby rolled her eyes as she pulled the game out of her backpack.

Emma, Henry, and Red sat outside Rumplestiltskin’s cell and set up the game. They let Henry be the banker and pass out the cash. Rumplestiltskin sat cross legged in his cell and stuck his arms through the bars so he could play.

“I’m sorry we couldn’t get your dagger, but we’ll think of something,” Red comforted.

“I’ll be fine. As long as I don’t have to be Regina’s personal assistant, I’m sure I’ll live,” Rumplestiltskin smirked.

“I can see it now. ‘Rumplestiltskin! Get me my coffee! No, there’s too much sugar! I want it as black as my soul!’” Emma raised her voice in pitch and made silly faces as she spoke.

They all laughed and started the game. It felt good to just pretend it was a semi-normal day. They were just playing a game of Monopoly like good friends, like family. Of course, in no time, Rumplestiltskin had hotels up on his property. When Henry landed on one of his hotels, Rumplestiltskin just said he would give the boy a pass. When Red landed on one, he said, “Time to make a deal.” When Emma landed on two in a row, Rumplestiltskin said a kiss could excuse her of her rent. Red was pretty sure she heard Emma call him something not fit for Henry’s ears, but if Red couldn’t hear it, the kid definitely couldn’t.

Several hours passed in blissful peace as they all played their games and laughed at jokes and stories.

“. . .And then Regina started PMSing! She just barged into my castle to rant and I didn’t know what to do. So I-” Rumplestiltskin stopped abruptly as his head shot up.

Red heard it too. Almost like she was summoned, they all heard Regina’s heels clicking on the tiled floor.

“Quick! She doesn’t know Henry’s here!” Red whispered hurriedly.

“Shouldn’t she be looking for Henry then?” Emma looked at her in panic.

“No, I left a note saying I went to a friends house,” Henry whispered.

“You can go hide in the bathroom,” Rumplestiltskin suggested.

Henry raced off while the other three continued to clean up the game. Red stuffed everything in her backpack and slid it into Emma’s office as Regina, Snow, and David rounded the corner. Baby Neal was strapped to Snow’s chest and he cooed in amusement as he saw more people. The little baby had been kept inside for the last few weeks due to Snow and Charming agreeing Storybrooke was always too dangerous. This time though, they couldn’t leave the baby alone.

“Red? What are you doing here?” Snow looked at her confusedly, “And are those leather pants?”

“I’m just visiting Emma. I brought her some coffee,” Red stated lamely.

“Oh, okay,” Snow nodded.

“You like what you see, Your Highness?” Rumplestiltskin winked at Snow.

Emma elbowed him in the chest where he didn’t have any open wounds. He rubbed the spot where she hit him and frowned at her teasingly. Charming stepped slightly in front of Snow and puffed out his chest a little bit. Rumplestiltskin gave the prince an are-you-serious look and cocked a brow.

“Why are you here?” Emma inquired, hoping Henry would stay quiet.

“We wanted to discuss how Zelena was using her magic,” Regina announced, “We figured Rumplestiltskin could help.”

“And why would I help?” Rumplestiltskin knew the answer already.

“Because you don’t have a choice,” Regina came closer and wrapped her fingers around the bars,”No deals, no payment, no stupid little quips. You just have to help us. Or we’ll make you.”

“The no quips rule doesn’t stand, though. I’d rather eat one of your apple turnovers than give up my fantastic sense of humor,” Rumplestiltskin stared her down.

“Okay, don’t set the building on fire,” Emma called out as they continued to glare at each other.

“So, any idea how Zelena’s using her magic?” David asked.

“If I knew, do you think she would still be able to use her magic?” Rumplestiltskin countered.

“I’d like a straight answer out of you. No more word games,” Regina took his dagger out of her coat.

He felt a sudden pressure in his chest and a sharp pain in his head. He backed away from the bars and clutched his head, doubling over. He hissed as the pressure and pain increased.

“Okay! No! No I don't! Stop! Please,” Rumplestiltskin whispered the last word.

Regina flicked the dagger and he sighed as he sat back on his bed and closed his eyes. He hated this. Hated how she could hurt him, control him. He just wanted to curl up in a corner and hide, but he couldn’t. He couldn’t show them how broken he was. It just wasn’t an option.

“Thank you,” Regina straightened her jacket with a vicious smile.

“Any idea how we can find out?” Snow asked.

Regina held the dagger out, and despite his best efforts, Rumplestiltskin flinched visibly and scooted further away on his bed.

“It’s probably being fed by someone. If she hid a piece of her magic in someone, she’ll still have a connection to it. It’s likely the person doesn’t even know,” Rumplestiltskin shared his theory.

“How would we find out who she hid it in? And how would we get it out?” David asked.

“ _ If  _ that is what happened, I know how to get it out. The problem is finding it,” the imp said.

“What if I helped you with my magic?” Emma looked at him uncertainly.

Rumplestiltskin thought for a moment. If they combined their magic, it could be problematic. She wielded light magic while he used dark magic. They could either work really well together, or they could blow the town to pieces. But. . .

“Actually, I think you could help,” Rumplestiltskin smirked.

“How?” Emma came closer to the bars.

“Light magic is the opposite of dark magic. If you sent out a burst of magic, it might just try to fight Zelena’s magic. If it did, we could follow it as it searched for something to lash out at,” Rumplestiltskin concluded.

“I’ve never used that much magic before,” Emma frowned.

“I’ll help you. We have all the time in the world,” Rumplestiltskin smiled.

“No, we don’t. The monkeys have started flying over town. If we don’t take care of it, we might have to fight them again,” Regina sneered.

Rumplestiltskin cringed at the thought of Regina using him to stop the monkeys. She’d let him get torn to pieces again without a second thought. His stomach and leg were still in pain, although since Emma had healed some of it, it wasn’t nearly as bad as it was when she was first freed.

“Okay, we don’t. I can still help you and then we can try it out,” Rumplestiltskin acquiesced.

“And if it doesn’t work?” Red asked.

“Then Regina’s most likely going to use me as a one man army and Emma’s going to be my one woman hospital,” Rumplestiltskin said with a mental shiver.

“Then I suggest you get to work,” David said as he and Snow left with Regina and Red right behind.

Rumplestiltskin looked over at Emma as she bit her bottom lip nervously. They heard a loud crash and looked over.

“Sorry!” Henry came out from his hiding place with a sheepish smile.

“You heard that whole thing, huh?” Emma asked.

“Maybe just a little,” Henry smiled, “So, can I watch?”

“You need to go before Regina realizes you were lying,” Emma said in her best motherly voice.

“Awwww, do I have to?” Henry pouted.

“Yes,” Emma narrowed her eyes.

Henry dragged his feet on the way out as he grabbed Red’s backpack and left.

“So. . . we get some alone time,” Rumplestiltskin walked up to the bars with a smirk.

“Were you flirting with my mother?” Emma turned a hard glare on him.

“No,” Rumplestiltskin scoffed and avoided her hand as she swatted at his head.

{=}-{=}-{=}-{=}-{=}

Red walked down the street, away from the gaggle of so-called heroes. Although Snow might be her friend, she had to admit that none of them were being heroic, or even civil, about this. She also had a beef, no pun intended, with Madame Mayor. That “go take yourself for a walk” comment that the sorceress made a while ago was only the tip of the half breed joke iceberg. Red was only trying to defend Jiminy. He was such a nice, sweet guy. To be honest, she had a bit of a schoolgirl crush on him. He was one of the few people who looked at her without fear or malice. Everyone may see her as a tamable beast, but they saw her as a beast nonetheless. Maybe that’s why she was suddenly getting along with Rumplestiltskin. The moment she stopped hating him so much, she realized that he wasn’t as impervious to all the rejection and distaste. People looked at him with unguarded hate and distrust, it had to wear on him. He did such a good job hiding it, but sometimes, he just looked tired.

Red was so lost in thought that she almost got hit by a car as she crossed the street. She heard the brakes screech and the driver yell. Red jumped back and felt her heart stop, then beat too fast. She just stared as her brain finally caught up with her rapidly beating heart. She almost died. She stumbled back as the car kept going, the driver not bothering to get out. It was so strange to think that after two curses and multiple sorcerers, something as mundane as a car could kill her.

“Are you alright?” someone asked hurriedly.

Red looked over to see the man she had been thinking of earlier. Archie Hopper, in all his exquisite cuteness. She was at a loss for words for a moment. She had a flashback to Peter and what she did. How could she ever hope to be close to someone after that?

“Red?” Jiminy asked again.

“Yah, yah. I’m fine, thank you,” Red sighed heavily.

“Are you sure? You look pretty shaken up,” he smiled warmly.

“No. I’m good, I think,” she smiled right back.

“Okay,” Archie shifted from foot to foot nervously.

“I’ve actually been meaning to ask you something,” he looked like he was to the point of perspiring.

“O-oh? Mmm, what would that be?” Red gave him a flirty smile.

The former cricket moved back slightly.  _ ‘Way to go Red. You’re scaring him off.’  _ She chided herself.

“I-I was wondering if you. . . if you had anything you wanted to talk about. I know you have some trouble with your wolf side. If you ever need to talk, I’ll be here,” Jiminy smiled.

“Oh yeah. Of course,” Red’s face fell, but she quickly snapped a smile back into place.

“Yeah. . . well, good day,” Jiminy said as he moved to walk back to his office.

“Wait! Archie,” Red was  _ not  _ going to let him chicken- or cricket -out.

“Yes?” he turned.

“Would you- would you like to go on a. . . date?” Red stuttered out hesitantly.

His face turned the same shade as his hair and he looked like he would explode. Jiminy was always very shy, but at the same time open. He looked at her and opened and closed his mouth several times. Was it possible she misread the signs? Maybe this was for the best. What if she hurt him? What if it didn’t work out? What if-

“I’d love to,” Archie finally answered.

“Really?! I mean. . . really?” Red corrected her enthusiasm.

The cricket actually chuckled, “Yes. Really.”

“Great! How does tomorrow sound? Maybe at the park?” Red suggested hopefully.

“Yah, maybe noon?” Jiminy smiled.

“That sounds wonderful,” Red concluded.

After saying their happy good-byes, Red walked away with a smile on her face. Not even a car could touch her now.

{=}-{=}-{=}-{=}-{=}

“No! Don’t do that!” Rumplestiltskin tried to make her stop.

“Well then what do you want me to do?” Emma yelled.

“Okay, calm down. Remember, magic is connected to-”

“Emotion. Yah, yah, yah. I’m not ready for this!”

“Emma. You are ready. Even if you don’t believe in yourself, I’ll believe in you enough for both of us,” Rumplestiltskin smiled encouragingly.

“You should be a life coach,” Emma frowned at him.

“I’m very inspirational aren’t I? I’ve been practicing my speeches. Maybe Charming will let me help him write the next one,” Rumplestiltskin quipped.

Despite herself, the corner of Emma’s mouth quirked up. She huffed a sigh and readied her hands again. For the past two hours, she had been trying to send a wave of light magic through Rumplestiltskin. If her magic could touch his, it could touch Zelena’s. She closed her eyes and focused on sending the magic out. She thought of her happiest moments with Henry. Like when they were cursed and living in New York. No, no, that just made her think of what could have been. She fished through her memory and landed on a moment that she was sure changed her life in a good way. She focused on it and fueled her magic, desperate to make it work. She felt her fingers tingle as a weird sort of wave passed over her body. It felt she was standing in the middle of the dessert with ice water being dumped on her. Then the feeling was gone. She opened her eyes to see Rumplestiltskin beaming at her.

“Well done, my dear. I most certainly felt that,” Rumplestiltskin smiled proudly, “What memory did you use?”

Emma couldn’t help but grin ear to ear at his praise, but she blushed at the question. She wanted to tell him, but she was also afraid of what he would say.

“Don’t worry, I won’t tell,” Rumplestiltskin pushed.

“Umm. . . when we were in your shop, right before you went to fight. When I kissed you,” Emma clarified.

“Mmm, yes, you are a lovely kisser,” the imp smirked.

“Shut up,” Emma muttered.

She was never one to be flustered or embarrassed, but Rumplestiltskin made her feel odd things in her stomach. He made her heart do backflips and her mind stop short. He made her mouth stop working and her walls come down. He made her feel safe and. . . loved.

“As you wish,” Rumplestiltskin grinned teasingly.

“Do you really think I can do this?” Emma asked.

“I do. Emma, you are one of the strongest people I have ever met,” Rumplestiltskin smiled.

“Mmm, I’m not sure about that.”

“I am. Although there is one thing you’re missing.”

“What's that?”

“You started straightening your hair, I miss your curls,” Rumplestiltskin pouted.

“My family likes it this way. My dad said it makes my hair look less unruly,” Emma looked down.

“Hey! There is nothing wrong with a little mess,” he said almost defensively.

“If I didn’t know any better, I would say you’re arguing a point,” she smirked.

“Well. . .” Rumplestiltskin trailed off.

“Oh my gosh! You had curly hair?” Emma came up against the bars.

“It was stylish!” the imp defended.

“You’re going to have to show me what you looked like one of these days,” the Savior smiled.

Rumplestiltskin looked down and began fidgeting with his fingers. She was confused until she remembered what her parents said. His skin had apparently been. . . interesting. She studied his posture. He looked almost ashamed.

“Hey,” Emma grabbed his hand, “No matter what you look like, I’ll like it.”

He smiled at her appreciatively. He thought for a moment and looked back at her.

“Would you care to make a deal?” he smirked devilishly.

“What kind of deal?” Emma quirked an eyebrow.

“If you start curling your hair again, I’ll show you what I looked like,” Rumplestiltskin bargained.

“Hmm. No. I’ll start curling my hair again if you let me give you a haircut,” Emma leveled him with a playful glare.

“What’s wrong with my hair?” Rumplestiltskin moved it out of his eyes.

“Nothing. I’m just curious how it looks when it’s short,” she smiled innocently.

“Short?! I’ve never cut my hair short,” he reasoned.

“Then I’ll keep my hair straight,” Emma looked at him defiantly.

She didn’t even want her hair straight. Her parents were all over her about everything now that they were reunited under terms of peace and not battle. It was like they were trying to make up for the parts of her life they missed.

“Fine! Fine, I’ll let you cut my hair,” Rumplestiltskin acquiesced.

“Yes! We have a deal,” Emma said excitedly.

Rumplestiltskin held his hand through the bars. Instead of shaking it, Emma grabbed it and pulled him closer. Their lips met and Rumplestiltskin’s mind melted. He couldn’t think past the feeling of her lips on his. Then they heard the tell tale sign of Regina. Her heels clicked on the tile for the second time that day as she came in with Snow, Baby Neal, and David. Luckily, Emma had put some distance between herself and the imp.

“Are you done?” Regina asked Rumplestiltskin harshly.

“I think she’s ready,” he smiled warmly at her.

“Great. Let’s get this over with,” David grunted.

Rumplestiltskin nodded to Emma. She closed her eyes and focused on the times she had kissed Rumplestiltskin. The scary dealmaker practically wrapped around her finger. The most feared man in all the realms, putty in her hands. She was just as bad, if not worse, but the thought made her smirk. She felt the same feeling as earlier as she shivered. A pulse of magic came out from her. She opened her eyes and looked around. At first, nothing happened. Then, a wisp of white magic shimmered in the air and swirled around Baby Neal before disappearing against his skin.

“Bring him here,” Rumplestiltskin ordered.

Snow, somewhat hesitant. brought the baby over to Rumplestiltskin. The sorcerer held his hands over the child and closed his eyes. He moved his hands over the length of Neal’s body before settling over his stomach. There was an odd pulse coming from there. He let his magic flow from him and curl into Neal. It writhed around something before, finally, a glowing green wisp snaked out of Neal’s stomach. It zipped off as soon as it was out while everyone stood in shock and horror

“My baby brother was possessed?” Emma asked suddenly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I probably won't update for a while. I'm very sorry, but school is just starting for me. When I get some time, I promise I'll update with a long chapter. :)


	16. What We Fight For

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I gave up on hope. It’s a dangerous thing, but every once in a while, it’s the weapon that wins the war."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took me so long to update. I wasn't in the right headspace before now. Here's my 5000+ word chapter to make up for it! Hope you enjoy! :}

Chapter 16

“My baby brother was possessed?” Emma asked suddenly.

“Neal!” Snow yanked her baby away from Rumplestiltskin like it was  _ his  _ fault.

“What did you do to him, monster?” Charming snarled.

“I merely removed Zelena’s magic. No harm came to the child, I promise,” Rumplestiltskin smiled at the prince’s discomfort.

“So, that’s it then?” Regina looked skeptical.

“Oh, dearie, it’s never over,” the imp laughed mirthlessly.

“Then what’s next?!” Charming stomped up to the bars, “Is anything ever simple with you?”

“Never! I would hate to lose my unpredictability. I would be terribly drab if I did,” Rumplestiltskin mock pouted.

The nerve of these heroes to think a fight was over! The fight was never over when it came to magic. It just kept going, and going, and going. They always expected more of him. Why couldn’t they give him a break? Just a small break would be nice. It was one thing after another, always. The moment he thought it was over, Belle broke his heart. Then, Emma was kind enough to help him pick up the pieces. He thought Emma would be his break. His final destination, but no. Now he had to worry about this darned cage. Would it ever end? Even for a short time?

“So, what will happen now?” Snow still looked defensive.

“Did you see how the magic didn’t dissipate? That means it’s stronger than I thought. It will move on to the next host and stay there until it’s removed. All we can do is wait patiently,” Rumplestiltskin frowned slightly.

“Come on! There’s got to be  _ something _ we can do!” Regina looked about ready to burst into flames.

“Or impatiently,” the imp muttered. 

“You know what. I almost forgot, you have a date with my sister,” the queen seemed to take solace in that thought. How disgusting.

“Excuse me?!” Rumplestiltskin was going to melt.

“I told Zelena you would join her for lunch, but it’s time for dinner. You’ll bring her chicken soup. You can have whatever you like, as long as you eat,” she smiled maliciously, leaving no room for argument.

“I- very well,” he didn’t want her using his dagger again, so he acquiesced.

“I’ll come fetch you in a bit,” Regina waved as she walked out with David, Snow, and the baby.

How was he going to stay with Zelena? She would be right there, and he couldn’t do a thing. Was there anyway to avoid this? Probably not. Why did it all happen to him? Why couldn’t he just be left alone?

“You going to be okay?” Emma came over to the bars.

“Okay is not the word I would choose,” Rumplestiltskin leaned his head against the bars.

“What word would you use?” she leaned her forehead against his.

“Afraid,” the imp whispered truthfully, guiltily.

“It’s okay to be afraid,” Emma twined her fingers with his.

“But I shouldn’t be.”

“She tortured you for months. You’re entitled to be a little freaked out.”

“It’s not just a little, Emma. I see her everywhere, she’s in my head. I’m  _ always _ afraid. I don’t think I can do this. I’ve always been a coward,” Rumplestiltskin couldn’t believe he was telling her this, but he needed to say it out loud.

“Being afraid doesn’t make you a coward, it makes you sensible. I would be worried if what happened didn’t affect you,” Emma kissed his cheek.

“Why do you stay? I’m in a cage, you could easily just walk away,” he looked her in the eyes.

“Because I don’t want to walk away,” she smiled.

“What do you want?” the imp watched a tear slip from her eye, then another.

“I-I want. . . you. I want to be with you. I want to laugh with you, and spend time with you. I want us to fight together, and win together. I want us to break together so we can pick each other up. I want us to piece each other back together so we can look at the world and not be afraid. I want us to be shattered together so we can be whole together. I want us to cover the cracked parts of our soul together, and accept the parts that can’t be hidden,” Rumplestiltskin was crying with her while their fingers remained twined, “I want us to stand together, and fall together. I want everyone to see me walking down the street and know that I’m yours. I want people to think of you when they think of me. I want to talk to you, know you. I want to see as many dark parts of you as light parts. I want to be with the imp and the man. I want to unlock the cage that unleashes the beast, the beast that  _ shouldn’t _ be tamed. I want every part of you that you never liked, so that I can show you how amazing you are. I never want to leave your side.”

“I want that too. But Emma,” Rumplestiltskin smiled through the tears.

“Hmm?” Emma looked at him fearfully.

“People don’t need to see it. I’m already yours,” he took her lips in his.

It was a slow, sensual kiss that electrified her body instantly. Rumplestiltskin poured all his love for her into that kiss. He wanted -  _ needed _ \- her to know that he was hers. He was always hers. She was his Savior, his Swan, his Lost Girl, his soldier, his Sheriff, his everything. He was hers in every way. She was all the things he needed her to be. She was the missing piece to a broken mirage. She was the rock of his beliefs. She was his sanity, courage, and heart. He couldn’t feel anything without her. Rumplestiltskin was in love with Emma Swan.

“You saved me,” he whispered against her kiss-swollen lips.

“How do you figure?” Emma breathed against him, sending tingles through his body.

“Emotion is a complex thing. All you can do is feel it. The worst part is, once you start you can’t stop until you’re numb. Then you’re just broken, and you don’t know if you’ll ever feel again. I’ve always been broken, Emma. But, you made me just a little more whole. Just enough that I know what I feel. And I do feel something. I love you, Emma Swan,” and he kissed her again.

The salty tears dripping down their face caught on their lips as Emma tilted her head, slanting her mouth against his. He explored her mouth with his tongue, worshipping every part of her he could reach. He was hers, and she needed to know that.

“I don’t want you to say it back. I know you’re not ready, but you have to know that I love you. If I have to wait four more centuries for you, I will. No matter what you need, or how much time you take, I’ll always be here,” Rumplestiltskin smiled at her.

“I’m afraid,” Emma whispered, just as he had done.

“So am I. We’ll do this like you said. Together,” he ran a hand down the side of her face gently.

Emma sniffled happily. It would take her a while to believe him, but she would try. He said he loved her. He looked her in the eyes and said he loved her. What did it mean? He was giving her time, though, so she would think about it.

“What about that haircut? Regina’ll be back soon, maybe you can surprise her with it,” Emma smirked as she wiped her eyes.

“I knew it would come to this,” Rumplestiltskin sighed dramatically.

“Oh, it won’t be  _ that _ bad. I’m sure you’ll look fine,” she said encouragingly.

“Okay. Go ahead,” he waved his hand dismissively.

“Yes!” Emma scrambled to her desk and grabbed a pair of scissors out of one of the drawers.

Rumplestiltskin had to be honest. The way she was smiling and holding those things scared him a bit. He had never had his hair cut short before. Would she like it? What if she didn’t? Was it going to look stupid? Oh, he was getting himself worked up over nothing. It was just a haircut.

Emma unlocked the cell door and just left it open. Surely Regina wouldn’t mind if Emma only went in once. The Savior readied her weapon after asking Rumplestiltskin to turn around. She smirked when he winced at the sound of the snip. Was he really that nervous? She began to cut off the long pieces of hair until they were manageable. Then, she started styling it the way she had envisioned. She cut it short in the back and then started moving up. Emma left the hair long enough to be considered a strand, but short enough not to be considered a hair lock. The front was long enough to fall down to his eyebrows if he let it, and the rest of his hair, except for the back, was the same length. 

“How does it look?” Rumplestiltskin asked when she finished.

“I think it suits you,” Emma smiled proudly.

“Is it wrong that I’m scared to see it?” he really did look worried.

“No, but I think you look handsome,” she smiled as his face lit up.

“Then I shall keep it for as long as you like it,” the imp smirked.

“I’ll bring you a mirror,” the Savior stepped out of his cell.

Emma walked over to her desk and grabbed a small round mirror out of one of the drawers. She looked at it and stopped. There were dark circles under her eyes and salty tracks down her face. Her lips were slightly kiss swollen and her hair was disheveled.  _ ‘For someone who just heard a love confession from a demon in leather pants, I look good.’  _ Emma smiled to herself as she thought of Rumplestiltskin’s words. ‘I love you, Emma Swan.’ What more could she ask for? He had said he was hers. He had said he loved her. He had said he would give her time. He didn’t look at her expectantly like she knew most men would. He  _ understood  _ her. He understood she needed time before she could say it back. How was it that his heart had been broken more times than hers and he could tell her he loved her so readily? What was it she was missing?

“Emma, are you alright?” Rumplestiltskin called curiously.

She realized she had been staring at the mirror for far too long. Emma looked up to see  _ her _ imp staring back at her with the same wet traces down his cheeks and swollen lips. His new haircut really did look quite nice.

“Yes, I’m fine. Just. . . thinking,” Emma smiled thoughtfully as she walked over to him.

She handed Rumplestiltskin the mirror and he hesitantly took it. He held it in his hand like he didn’t want to look at it. He bit the corner of his lip nervously as he stared at his hand.

“Oh, for heaven’s sake! You’re not going to look like a teenage mutant ninja turtle!” Emma smacked his shoulder playfully.

“Excuse me?” Rumplestiltskin gave her a confused look.

“A teena- you know what? Nevermind. Just look in the mirror before Her Royal Arse comes back,” she glared at him.

“Arse? I’m so happy you decided to stop spewing straight expletives. You could’ve cursed this town with that mouth, without magic,” he smirked at her stunned expression.

“Look in the mirror or I’ll put it somewhere you don’t want it!”

“Yet she still doesn’t deny it,” Rumplestiltskin muttered, earning him a good slap on the arm.

He tilted the mirror up so he could look at himself. He stood, stunned by the person looking back at him. He looked completely different! Obviously he expected to look different, but this was crazy! He ran a hand through his hair and smiled, moving the mirror around. He heard a snort and looked up. Emma was leaning against the bars with her head against the backs of her hands.

“Y-your f-f-face!” Emma laughed hysterically.

“What?” he asked defensively.

“You. . . looked s-so surprised,” Emma was about to fall over from laughing.

“I’ve never had my hair cut short!” the imp protested.

“You’re so adorable,” she walked over and hugged him, still laughing.

“I’m not adorable! I’m the Dark One! That’s the second time you’ve called me that,” Rumplestiltskin huffed.

“Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone,” Emma smiled up at him.

“Tell anyone what?” Regina’s voice echoed through the halls as she rounded the corner.

Emma practically jumped out of the cell and closed the door. She locked it again and slipped the key in her pocket.

“That he likes his new haircut,” Emma blurted.

Regina raised an eyebrow, ”Well, assuming you weren’t supposed to tell anyone, I take it you got your mother’s secret keeping skills.”

“Shut up,” the Savior murmured.

“I’ve got the food, let’s go, pet,” the queen sneered nastily.

“Of course, Your Majesty,” Rumplestiltskin smiled the most fake smile he could manage.

“And Emma, clean up the hair on the floor. As animalistic as he is, the imp doesn’t need to live in a barn,” Regina waved a hand and the cell door swung open.

As Her Majesty walked away with Rumplestiltskin in tow, he put the back of his hand to his forehead and tilted his head back, rolling his eyes dramatically. Emma snickered as she watched him walk after the queen, making faces all the way.

{=}-{=}-{=}-{=}-{=}

Red waited in the park nervously, tapping her heeled foot on the grass. She wasn’t wearing the most practical clothes, but at least she didn’t look like she had been taking fashion tips from her cursed persona. Ruby’s clothes didn’t seem like something Jiminy would be into. What would he be into? She was a wolf! He was a cricket! How would this work? What had she been thinking?

“Hey, Red. I hope I’m on time,” Jiminy greeted nervously.

“Hello! And I’m not actually sure. I didn’t bring a watch,” Red smiled, and then berated herself.

She didn’t bring a watch? That’s not what he meant!  _ ‘Stupid, stupid, stupid.’  _ What the hell was she doing? This wasn’t going to work! But that cute, dorky little smile that he gave her. And those eyes he was assaulting her brain with. His adorable plaid vests!

“I-I brought a blanket and some food,” he gestured to his other arm which was decorated with a blanket and basket.

“I brought some wine,” Red walked over to a nice spot under a nearby tree, watching him follow her.

_ ‘Really, Red? Way to scream, “I’m just like Ruby!” right in his face. Just shut up and let him do the talking!’ _

“Oh, that’s nice. I can only have one glass, though. I try to limit my alcohol intake,” Archie laid the basket on the grass and flung out the blanket.

“That makes sense. Ever since the curse broke, I’ve been trying to go easy as well. Ruby drank  _ so _ much. Like, the dancing on tables and singing Jingle Bells amount  _ every night _ ,” Red smiled as Jiminy chuckled.

He had such a nice laugh. It was just like his eyes: warm and deep. He had such an easy openness about him. He was like a walking comfort pillow. And when he smiled, it just made the whole room glow like-  _ ‘Oh my Lord, I’m fangirling.’  _

After the blanket was set up and the basket of sandwiches and chips were set out, they began chatting about various things. The world could have exploded and they probably wouldn’t have noticed. They were so invested in the other’s eyes, they weren’t aware of anything around them.

“. . .Pongo is so sweet. The other day, I slept through my alarm and he came to wake me up. I would have been late if he hadn’t,” Jiminy smiled fondly.

“Have you been busy with work lately?” Red inquired curiously.

“Yes, actually. I suppose two curses are liable to give people anxiety. Some struggle with their other personalities from the first curse. Some were turned into flying monkeys after the second. Some people just want to leave the town and still feel safe, but they can’t,” he really did look quite sad for his clients.

“Yah, I know what it’s like to not be in charge of your own body while being in another form. It’s scary when you wake up and don’t know what you’ve done,” she looked down guiltily.

“Hey, if you can’t control yourself, it’s not your fault,” Archie smiled.

“But I’ve killed people.”

“So have I.”

“Really?”

“Yes. That’s why I asked to be a cricket. You can be forgiven for the things you do if you feel remorseful about them. Accidents are just that. . . accidents. Don’t blame yourself for something you can’t fix. It makes for one of the worst kinds of pain,”Jiminy looked at her imploringly.

“I’ll keep that in mind,” Red put her hand over his and kissed his cheek.

She was worried about scaring him away, but if she didn’t risk anything, she couldn’t gain anything. Red watched him nervously as he turned beet red. If he had water, he would be choking on it at that point. He opened his mouth and closed his mouth several times.

Before she could stop herself, Red started laughing. She felt bad about it, but she just couldn’t stop. It was so funny! She had only kissed him on the cheek. She had - under the curse of course - given several men the full mouth service, and they didn’t even blink. Maybe because their eyes were closed, but that was beside the point.

“I’m sorry. But your face was so funny!” Red laughed.

“W-well. . .” Archie began, but he didn’t seem to know how to finish.

“You’re so sweet and adorable,” she said before she could really think about it.

“Th-thank you. . . I think,” he drew his eyebrows together.

“It’s a good thing. Most of the men I know would have spent the entire date staring at my legs, you’re a nice change of pace. I like the way you’re always so considerate and caring,” Red smiled happily.

“Well, I’d be happy to do this again sometime. I love spending time with you. You’re a lot different than Ruby. And you should know, you don’t need any makeup to be beautiful, Red. You’re perfect just the way you are,” Jiminy decided to be brave and say what he felt.

The cricket blushed the whole time he said it, but it was out. Despite herself, Red started blushing. She could handle men eyeing her up and down, people telling her she was a half-breed, men flirting shamelessly, but such complements as that were few and far between. The sweet innocence of it made her blush like a virgin. Here was a man who was willing to look past her problems, not for her body, but merely for her company. . . and maybe one day, love. The perfect purity of it made her want to cry for happiness, but then if she did that, Jiminy wouldn’t know what to do with her.

“Thank you, Jiminy. You don’t know what that means to me,” and he didn’t, but Red wanted him to know he was special to her. She’d find a way to show him.

“It’s getting late, but maybe we could see each other again soon,” Archie said as he got up to pack what was left.

“I think I’d like that very much,” she grinned.

As they cleaned up and parted ways, Red couldn’t help but think that she hadn’t smiled so much in her life. Maybe things weren’t so bad. Maybe they would get through this. Maybe she and Jiminy could have what Rumplestiltskin and the Savior had. Whatever it was, it was worth fighting for.

{=}-{=}-{=}-{=}-{=}

Rumplestiltskin followed Regina out of the station without much hesitation. There really wasn’t a point. The sooner he got this over with, the sooner he saw Emma again. Was that such a good thing, though? He had told her he loved her. She had seemed somewhat okay, but how long would that last? He didn’t want her to say anything back to him until she was ready. He didn’t want to jump in head first. . . again. He wanted her to take her time and think about it.

“It highlights your eyes.”

“I beg your pardon?” Rumplestiltskin was shaken from his reverie.

“Your haircut. It highlights your eyes. I like it,” Regina clarified.

“Mmm,” was his emotionless reply.

He didn’t care what she thought. She could burn in the deepest parts of Tartarus for all he cared. Right next to her mother, and hopefully one day, her sister. Yes, he did have a complicated relationship with the Mills women.

“Did Emma cut it?” the queen pressed.

“Well, I didn’t do it,” he lifted an eyebrow at the back of her head as they walked to her mansion.

“Why did she cut it?”

“It was part of a deal we made.”

“What deal?”

“None of your business.”

“Everything about you is my business. I own you,” Regina laughed mirthlessly.

Rumplestiltskin cringed and shrank back slightly. He hated this, all of it. He was going to have been a slave to everyone at least once by the end of the year. Why did all of this have to happen to him? Why couldn’t he have been born in a different century? It would have been better for his health.

“The monkeys are still circling,” Rumplestiltskin diverted the conversation.

“Yes. The magic must have found a new host,” Regina stated nonchalantly.

“Indeed.”

They walked in silence the rest of the way. What was there to talk about? He didn’t want to listen to his former pupil’s grating voice any more than he had to. He just wanted to eat - and possibly throw up - , tell Zelena to shove it, and get back to his cage. And it was a cage. The heroes could call it a cell, a prison, a temporary flooping room, but it was a cage.

Rumplestiltskin walked down the stairs in complete silence, siking himself up for what was to come. Preparing himself for her sick smile did nothing, though, because when he saw it, his mind twisted and his stomach rolled. He would never get used to that smile. It was disgusting and completely crazy. There wasn’t a shred of sanity left in that woman.

“Rumple, so good to see you again. Who has a better room? You or me?” Zelena smiled.

“Definitely me. I get taken to a  _ real _ bathroom instead of having to go next to where I sleep,” Rumplestiltskin sneered venomously.

“If you’re sleeping, it means you haven’t been eating. Which means you’ve been thinking about me,” Zelena said with an almost gleeful expression.

“I try to keep my mind clean of green, thank you very much,” Rumplestiltskin sat across from her, on the ground.

Regina practically threw their food at them and stalked back up the stairs.  _ ‘Someone needs to pull the wand out of  _ her _ arse.’  _ Maybe Robin could do it. Rumplestiltskin felt bad for the thief.

“How have you been?” Zelena asked almost tenderly. Completely fake.

“Better without you near,” Rumplestiltskin took a bite out of his dinner.

“Don’t be so harsh, pet. Don’t you remember all those nice things you said about me?” the witch looked fond of a certain memory.

“I was lying. I didn’t want you to drag that damned dagger down my body again,” he snarled.

“Oh, but pet, there had to be some truth to it,” Zelena pouted.

Rumplestiltskin thought back. That day was one of the worst. He could still feel the pain woven into his soul like he wove his gold thread into his clothes. The agony wouldn’t leave him, ever. He couldn’t help but remember what happened. . .

_ ‘Rumplestiltskin didn’t want to do this anymore. He hurt in every way possible. His body ached in sharp and dull pains alike. He couldn’t think through the constant agony that plagued his hazy mind. Everything blended together until black was white, white was blue, and color didn’t exist. It was all just a torrent of incomprehensible mush that filtered through his brain as he was curled on the floor, shivering. His shirt was off - as it always was - and his pants were torn and ragged. He didn’t want to look down at the once elegant silk, knowing what he would find. The blood soaking his clothes made them rigid and slightly uncomfortable, but the mangled mess of his skin made him want to vomit. His body had already been torn up, but now his legs were just as bad. Before, at least he had the comfort of pacing, even if his feet had been hurting. Now, the slightest movement made his wounds stretch and bleed. How could he possibly keep going through this?  _ ‘Oh, that’s right. I don’t have a choice.’  _ He thought sullenly. He couldn’t slip away into sleep for more than an hour, and even then he felt the pain. It haunted him in everything but numb unconsciousness. It was very rare that he would get that, though. Zelena didn’t let him black out. It was against the rules. So instead, he lay, curled in a ball, in the corner of his cage. She would come back soon, he knew it. _

_ “Rumple!” almost like the sociopathic asparagus was summoned, “Did you miss me?” _

_ Only a moment’s hesitation before, “Yes, Your Majesty. Very much.” _

_ “Aww, don’t worry. I’ll try not to leave you too often. I just had some important business to take care of,” Zelena entered the cage. _

_ “I hope it went well,” Rumplestiltskin fished for cordial sounding words. Words that would keep her happy. _

_ “Oh, it did. Why don’t you come off the floor? It must be terribly uncomfortable. I wish to look you in the eyes,” Zelena smiled warmly. _

__ ‘Then go get a genie.’  _ Rumplestiltskin thought scathingly. He bit his tongue, though. This was a game, a long game. If he wanted to get through it, he had to choose his battles carefully.  _

_ He struggled to his feet after much pain and silent whimpers. It burned up and down his legs, through his body, but he stood and didn’t crumple. The ragged hole in his left calf was screaming at him, but he ignored it. There would be time for pain and tears later, but not now. _

_ “What a good little servant you are,” the witch smiled. _

_ “If you think so, Your Majesty,” Rumplestiltskin choked out around the bile rising in his throat from the pain in his legs and the mockery in her smile. _

_ “Let’s play a game, shall we?” Zelena suggested as she stepped closer to him. _

_ “As you like,” he didn’t make eye contact. _

_ “Let’s go through the alphabet, and you can come up with a word for every letter to describe me, okay?” she asked nicely. _

_ Was she serious? She was going to make him play a stupid game and have him stand up the whole time? Was she so desperate for acceptance that she would have him come up with an alphabet of compliments? How the hell would this even work? One wrong word and instead, he’d be screaming a pained curse for every letter of the alphabet. _

_ “If that is what you wish,” Rumplestiltskin nodded slowly, dejectedly. _

_ “It is. A,” she started. _

‘Artichoke.’ _ ”Amazing.” _

_ “B.” _

‘I’ve got a really good one. It even rhymes with witch.’ _ ”Brilliant.” _

_ “C.” _

‘Crazy.’ _ ”Clever.” _

_ “D.” _

‘Disgusting.’ _ ”Delightful.” _

_ “E.” _

‘Eccentric.’ _ ”Extraordinary.” _

_ This was ridiculous. Why was she having him do this. She was controlling, sociopathic, scary as hell, and completely insane. Why was she making him do this? Was there really a point? _

_ “P.” _

‘Possessive.’ _ ”Powerful.” _

_ At this point, he was just coming up with all the things he wouldn’t say about her. He was praying for something, anything, to happen. Lightning to strike, a giant explosion, flying pigs! Just something. _

_ “Z.” _

_ “Zealous,” Rumplestiltskin finished with a sigh of relief. _

_ “Wonderful! That was so nice of you, pet. Now I have a better idea of our relationship,” Zelena smiled gleefully. _

_ Relationship? This woman was off her rocker. Maybe she wouldn’t hurt him today. _

_ “But I don’t believe you,” she shook her head, suddenly sad. _

_ “What? Why not,” this would not end well. _

_ “Were you telling the truth?” _

_ Oh, this was easy. He had spent centuries lying, not even Emma could accuse him of a thing he didn’t want her to know about. Then, she touched his dagger.  _ ‘No, no, no, NO, NO!’  _ He felt the command for honesty go through the dagger. He felt the magic surge into him, infecting him, taking control. Then, he felt himself say ‘no.’ Why couldn’t it ever be simple?  _

_ “I thought not. You haven’t understood yet. You aren’t ready yet. I understand. You’ll get there eventually. Then, you’ll realize I’m the best thing that ever happened to you,” Zelena looked disappointed, but not angry. _

_ “I’m sorry, Your Majesty,” what could he possibly do to salvage this? _

_ Instead of replying, Zelena stepped into his personal space. She made him itch with fearful anticipation. He felt the bile in his throat, rising once more. He suddenly didn’t mind the pain in his body so much, he just didn’t want to hurt more. Rumplestiltskin started shaking where he stood, his breathing intensifying. _

_ “You’re afraid,” Zelena breathed against his face, ”Good.” _

_ She moved a hand across his chest and down his stomach, her fingernails catching in open wounds purposefully. The wounds hadn’t closed one bit and only hurt slightly less than they did when they were first inflicted. He held back a whimper as her sharp talons dug into his soft, torn flesh.  _

_ “Turn around. Hands on the mesh.” _

_ Rumplestiltskin did as he was told. There wasn’t a point in doing otherwise. He wrapped his fingers around the cold metal squares that made up his cage. Zelena pushed him roughly so that his chest and legs were pressed up against the mesh, back completely exposed. She could do anything to him. . . anything. _

_ He felt the cold tip only a half second before pain exploded in his back. He already had wounds back there, but they weren’t nearly as deep. He couldn’t hold back a hoarse, clipped scream as the dagger sliced quickly and smoothly through the muscles of his back. It cut over still-sensitive burns as it moved. He was whimpering through every shaking breath that he took as he found more strength for yet another scream. His mind was flooded with pain as misery swept through his torso. He was convulsing sickly against the mesh as the magically induced pain wove into the physical pain. He felt it snake over his form like vines, choking him. He was twitching spastically from the ever encompassing pain that pressed at the corners of his mind. It all hurt. Plain and simple. Everything felt like hell. _

_ When he thought it couldn’t get any worse, the blade came down once more. Of course, that was her tactic: let him think he knew nothing but pain, and then squeeze some more into him. He found he couldn’t scream this time. His throat had been raw when she came down, but now it was aching and trying to close up with all the pain. So instead, he whimpered as his mouth gaped in soundless horror. He felt something wet on his face and realised, as she brought the dagger down several more times, he was crying. Hot tears of pain and hopelessness poured down his face as he was overloaded with incomprehensible misery. His forehead was resting against the mesh as he felt his legs giving out. Just as he was about to fall down, Zelena grabbed his hair and pulled him back up. She turned him around to face her while her hand stayed in his hair, keeping him from falling. He watched her smile wickedly as she slid the dagger into his stomach and watched him close his eyes as there was a sudden blankness to everything. He could feel the pain most certainly, but the rest of the world just faded away. It was like that half second before death when you realized what was happening, and then the other half of that second when you felt the pain that led to your eternal reprieve. He couldn’t scream - or maybe he did and he didn’t notice - or think or feel. Just pain. He wasn’t feeling the pain, it was just inside him. It burrowed into his soul and spread through his very existence, maring him with an agony he would never be rid of. It marked him as its own before lashing out to make sure he knew it too. It held tight and didn’t let go. _

_ When he opened his eyes, Zelena was gone. He was slumped on the ground with something sticky dribbling from his mouth. He coughed spastically and more of it dripped down his chin. His face was covered in blood. Rumplestiltskin looked down at the wound in his stomach. It was bleeding profusely, but he knew it wouldn’t kill him. No, Zelena wouldn’t kill him. She would hate to lose her favorite toy. Rumplestiltskin watched the blood trickle from his wound as he drifted into a sleep that brought no relief from the pain.’ _

He never wanted to think about that again, but he knew he would. There was no way around it. He felt the bile rise in his throat and looked down at his half eaten dinner. He knew he wouldn’t be able to eat. He was going to wretch. . . again. ‘It’s okay to be afraid. ... I want to be with you.’ Emma had told him that. Emma was waiting for him. Emma Swan. Emma Swan. Emma Swan. Just like his squid ink on that old piece of parchment. Over and over and over. Emma Swan. Emma Swan. Emma Swan. She was there. She was always there.

“There wasn’t. There wasn’t any truth to it,” Rumplestiltskin whispered.

He didn’t wretch. He didn’t stutter. He didn’t choke. Emma Swan was his anchor, his reason, the only one left. No, he had Henry, he had Red. He wasn’t alone, not any more. It was okay to be afraid.

“You know, one day your going to realise your mistake,” Zelena smiled.

“I already have. I’ve been too afraid of what the people I love think of me. I never stopped to consider they liked me the way I was. I gave up on hope. It’s a dangerous thing, but every once in a while, it’s the weapon that wins the war,” Rumplestiltskin got up and left the basement.

His dinner was still only half eaten, left on the floor. He didn’t care. He didn’t care if Regina was angry. He didn’t care if Zelena was going to tell anyone he loved Emma Swan. He didn’t care if the world exploded. Rumplestiltskin was going to get out of that cage. He was going to spend time with Emma and make sure she knew he loved her. Then, he was going to kill Zelena.


	17. Run, Run as Fast as You Can

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “The worst part about falling in love, is that no matter what, your heart will get broken. The risk you take is whether it will get fixed or not."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it has taken me so long to update, but time management has really been biting me in the arse lately. I hope you enjoy, and please leave comments if you like it!

Chapter 17

Regina was indeed angry. She went on and on about how he couldn’t leave until she told him to. About how he had to listen to her and be a  _ good boy. _ Well, he would be, but not for much longer. He was going to get out of that cage, and he was going to finish his task.

Unfortunately, when they got back to the station, Emma wasn’t there. Her parents probably dragged her off to go do something or other. Maybe she would be back in the morning. Until then, he would wait silently in his cage. When she was back, he would tell her of his plan of escape. Perhaps if he could defeat the monkeys, the heroes would give him some leeway. Then, he would kill Zelena. He might be locked up for as long as they lived, but he could always kiss Emma through the bars. Rumplestiltskin felt a quick flash of guilt at the thought of everything he was putting Emma through, but he needed to think of his son. He had spent centuries searching for his boy. Now he had one last chance to be close to Baelfire before he had to say goodbye forever. He could do this.

{=}-{=}-{=}-{=}-{=}

Emma was slightly annoyed that her parents had goaded her into family dinner last night. She had wanted to wait for Rumplestiltskin, just to make sure he was okay. During their family diner, she realized just how much time she  _ hadn’t _ been spending with her parents and baby brother. Little Neal had been almost nonexistent in her thoughts until she found out he had been the host of Zelena’s magic. It was crazy how those things could sneak up on you. Emma was still worried about her. . . what was he? Boyfriend maybe? Definitely boyfriend. Rumplestiltskin had practically poured his heart out on the floor and she hadn’t been there when he got back. Then again, maybe that was a good thing. She had spent a lot of that time crying and drinking her hidden stash of Johnnie Walker. He had said he loved her! What the hell was she supposed to do with that? She would go down to the station and bust him out of there, that’s what. But how? She would need Red and Henry for this one. Friends are the family you choose, and Red was definitely a friend. 

Emma half-stomped out of her room and grabbed her keys, ignoring her family. They didn’t need her attention right now. She got in her yellow bug and drove to Granny’s inn. She knew exactly where her attention should lie.

After knocking on the door of Room 6 for three minutes, a disheveled-looking Red opened the door.

“What the he- Oh! Hi Emma!” Red brightened immediately.

Her faded red streaks were sticking up in every way possible. Some of the angles in her hair looked impossible. It looked like art. She wasn’t wearing any makeup, or many clothes. Emma wore a tanktop and her underwear to bed, and she had answered the door in that outfit many times. Now she knew how uncomfortable people felt. Her wolf friend was wearing red lace panties and a very,  _ very _ tight red crop top.

“Hey. I’m sorry it’s early, but I was hoping you would come down to the station with me,” Emma smiled shyly.

“Am I under arrest? I promise it wasn’t me in the forest last night,” Red asked sleepily.

“N- Wait what?” Emma narrowed her eyes.

“Nothing. I’ll throw on some clothes.”

Apparently ‘throwing on some clothes’ did not mean the same thing to everyone. Red spent ten minutes picking out an outfit, three minutes squeezing into it, and seven minutes doing some sort of light makeup. By the time she was done, Emma was impatiently tapping her boot and sucking her teeth.

“Okay, let’s go!” Red gave her a toothy smile.

Emma rolled her eyes but motioned to the door. They walked to the bug and got in, making sure not to wake Granny. The old woman probably knew anyways. When the car was started up and moving, Emma reached across Red into the glove compartment to grab something. She pulled out a thin walkie talkie and straightened the antenna.

Pressing the button, she spoke into the microphone, “Hey, little miscreant. Meet me in front of the monster’s den in two minutes.”

“Eeeemmmmma, that’s not my code name,” Henry’s voice groaned from the little black box.

“It’s close enough, kid.”

“Fine. See you in two.”

“Gotcha. Over,” Emma smiled into the talkie.

It felt like old times. Before magic and sorcerers and flying monkeys and boyfriends. When it was just her and Henry against the world. No matter what man there was in her life, Henry would always come first. Emma hoped he knew that.

They met Henry in front of Regina’s house in a couple of minutes, waving him into the car. Henry didn’t care where they were going, he was just delighted to be sneaking around. The boy was far too much like his grandfather. The imp, not the prince.  _ ‘The one I’m dating, not my father. Eww.’ _ Emma scrunched up her nose and shook the thought from her head.

They arrived at the station soon enough. Emma was eager to see Rumplestiltskin and maybe ask him how his evening was. She didn’t particularly want Henry and Red to know about what had happened the night before, though. She was still trying to process it herself.

Rumplestiltskin was already awake when they walked in there. Henry and Red trailed behind Emma since they still weren’t sure what was going on.

“We need to talk,” Emma said seriously.

“So we do,” Rumplestiltskin nodded.

“Wait, what do you want to talk about?”  _ ‘please don’t be last night’ _ Emma thought desperately.

“I’m not going to stay in this cage for much longer. I have no desire to be turned into mincemeat by flying monkeys. I have become rather attached to all my parts and would like them to remain exactly where they are,” the imp confessed.

“I would like that too. Here’s the plan. We need to make a plan,” Emma stated.

“Brilliant idea,” he smiled teasingly.

“Shut up. I brought Henry and Red,” she glared.

“Really? I hadn’t noticed,” Rumplestiltskin smirked.

Emma’s lips flattened into aggravated lines. She really did have nice lips. If only she would come a little closer to the bars. 

“Sorry, please continue,” he apologized.

“First, I need to know where your dagger is. Then, we need to get around the guards to get it,” Emma surmised.

“They put guards around it? I just thought the mayor carried it all day,” Red furrowed her eyebrows.

“Oh, she would have. The rest of the council, though, believed, and I quote, ‘it might corrupt someone’s soul if it’s held too long,’” the Savior raised her eyebrow mockingly.

“I think they just didn’t want the former Evil Queen to have all that power at her fingertips. But how are we going to get it?” Red asked.

“This is actually better,” Rumplestiltskin began, “If she’s not touching the dagger, she can’t feel what I’m doing. All her commands, like not using magic, will still stand, but she won’t know where I am.”

“And she never explicitly told you to stay here!” Henry caught on with a bright smile.

“Now, she probably put a magical border around wherever they’re keeping it. But, if I’m waiting outside when you retrieve the dagger, it will save us copious amounts of time and confusion,” the imp smiled deviously at the thought of holding his dagger.

“But where’s the dagger?” Red inquired.

“That’s easy. It’s in Mom’s office,” Henry smiled, “She never stops talking about how she finally beat Rum.”

“Perfect. Red and I can go in and get past the guards, Henry can keep Regina busy, and Rum can wait outside for us to return with his soul,” Emma concluded.

“Great, fresh air,” Rumplestiltskin smiled as Emma unlocked his cell.

Red and Henry ran outside to get Emma’s bug ready while the Savior brought Rumplestiltskin his jeans from her desk. When she walked over to him, though, instead of taking his pants, he wrapped his arms around her waist, pulled her flush against him, and brought his mouth down to hers. She opened for him immediately and let his tongue explore her mouth. She hummed in disappointment when he pulled away to look at her.

“I’ve been waiting to do that for ages, love,” Rumplestiltskin smiled as he grabbed his pants and walked into the bathroom to change.

Emma just stood there, unsure what to do next. He had called her ‘love’. Not dearie, dear, or even dearest. He called her ‘love’. It wasn’t annoying and suggestive as it was when Hook said it. No, it was sweet and calm and loving. Like the name held meaning, like it held all the meaning in the world. Like he cared. It sounded like a river running over rocks. Like wind blowing over a field. Like a sweet word from a lover’s lips. Emma really did feel loved.

“Are you ready to go, Emma?” Rumplestiltskin asked.

Though, when he said her name, she liked the way it rolled off his tongue. When she looked up, he was wearing a dark red silk dress shirt and black denim jeans with his black leather jacket.

“Where did those come from?” Emma motioned to his clothes.

“I hid some in the station in case I ever got stuck in here,” Rumplestiltskin smirked.

“When?” she narrowed her eyes.

“When we started dating. I figured if your father ever found out, he would throw my arse in jail,” the imp tilted his head thoughtfully while he smiled at her.

“You’re insane.”

“Beside the point.”

Rumplestiltskin smiled at her as they walked out of the station, fingers entwined. Red and Henry were playing tag outside when they reached the door. Red’s heels were left forgotten on the pavement next to the yellow bug. Emma and Rumplestiltksin just stood there for awhile, watching Henry and Red.

“It’s like having kids,” Emma laughed while she leaned against her boyfriend.

“But without having the pleasure of making them,” Rumplestiltksin gave her a sideways smirk.

Without moving an inch, Emma stated, “I will smack you.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

  
  


They drove for a few minutes, talking happily about this or that. They were all excited to get the dagger back.  _ ‘But none of them are thinking of where I will go afterwards.’ _ Rumplestiltskin once again hid behind a smile, a fake smile. They wouldn’t figure it out until they brought him his dagger, though. Then, he could tell them the plan he made while he helped them make their plan. He probably should have told Emma, but he couldn’t. Although he did love her, honesty had just never been the best color on him.

Emma’s bug pulled up behind City Hall soon enough. When it did, everyone knew what they needed to do. So, Henry got out and called Regina to meet him at Granny’s; funny how she kept falling for that. Rumplestiltskin stood near the back exit so he could wait for them. Then, it was all up to Emma and Red.

“We got this, right?” Red asked nervously.

“Yeah, we totally got this,” Emma gave her a small smile.

It was easy getting past the dwarves. As loyal as they were, they weren’t very smart. All Red had to do was flash Sneezy a suggestive smile and kiss Grumpy on the cheek and the rest of the dwarves were falling over themselves.  _ ‘Men.’ _

“Okay, now we get the dagger and get out, easy-peasy,” Red smiled, vaguely proud of herself.

They were committing Grand Theft Dagger and they hadn’t been caught yet. Emma had to say, she was pretty proud of herself too. 

When Red and Emma finally reached Regina’s office, they were both apprehensive. Would they get turned into donkeys if they crossed the threshold? Would poison spikes come out of the floor? Would it summon the queen herself?

“For Rum,” Emma whispered as she stepped through the doorway.

When nothing happened, Emma felt really silly. She had definitely been exaggerating. Now, all they had to do was grab the dagger. Then, they would be gone.  _ ‘Where will he go?’ _ A small voice in the back of her head whispered. Would he leave her like all the others? She would find out soon enough.

“Let’s find the dagger,” Emma ordered as she began to search the office.

“And why on earth would you need that, Emma?”

Emma turned, and to her horror, saw her mother standing there, hands on hips and bow slung over her shoulder. She was squinting her eyes at her daughter and completely ignoring Red.

“I just need it,” Emma didn’t have a good excuse for this.

“You want to free him,” Snow stated.

It wasn’t a guess. It wasn’t a question. Snow knew. Emma’s mother knew exactly what her daughter wanted. Would she try and stop her?

“What keeps me from calling your father and telling him that you’re trying to free his enemy?” Snow asked calmly, like she was talking to a child.

“Because you know this is wrong,” Emma whispered, “This is cruel and inhumane and-and...  _ evil _ .”

“Emma! How can you say that after everything Rumplestiltskin has done?”

“Oh, you mean after he killed himself and his father for this town? You mean how he fought Zelena’s magical demon? You mean how he fought a swarm of flying monkeys to save me and my son?!” Emma yelled.

“What about all the people he’s killed?” Snow raised her voice defensively.

“Regina’s killed people. Hook has killed people,” Red chimed in, much to Emma’s happiness..

“How could you do this too, Red? You’re my friend,” Snow looked hurt.

“You mean the friend you never spend time with? Snow, when we first met, I didn’t judge how you were an outlaw, and you didn’t judge how I was a monster. Then, you got married to your high-and-mighty Prince Charming, and nothing else mattered. You make a strong queen and a good wife, Snow, but right now, you’re being an unfair mother and a lousy friend,” Red hissed sadly, angrily.

“You don’t really think that, do you?” Snow looked like she might cry.

“I-I do,” Red met Snow’s eyes with her own, though her voice shook with emotion.

Snow’s hand still hung limply near the walkie talkie clipped to her belt. She seemed to be in deep thought. Maybe in limbo between her husband’s wants and her daughter’s needs. 

When she looked up again, she seemed to have made a decision. Crossing the room in a few quick steps, she took a key out of her pocket and inserted it into the bottom drawer of Regina’s desk. When it opened, she drew a long, silver, twisted blade out. It was beautiful in a broken kind of way. Emma could feel the darkness emanating from it in heavy waves. It was almost like it yearned to be used, either by its host for dark deeds, or by another for pain. It just felt so  _ evil _ . Did Rumplestiltskin really have to beat that back every day? Did he have to fight a constant battle between how he used to be? Rumplestiltskin against the Dark One. The spinner against the darkness. The coward against power that he wanted so badly, but wouldn’t ever give in to.

“You have five minutes before I say the dagger was taken,” Snow whispered, handing the dagger to Emma.

“Thank you... Mom,” Emma smiled.

“Thank you, Snow,” Red put a hand on her friend’s shoulder.

Emma and Red walked towards the back exit. Henry was probably still with Regina, so they had ten minutes.

{=}-{=}-{=}-{=}-{=}

Rumplestiltskin paced back and forth outside. Would they get his dagger? If they didn’t, what would he do then? What if they got caught? His fears echoed in his head over and over again as he thought. When they came out, it wasn’t a good idea to use magic. Regina might feel it. He might not have sufficient energy. Any number of things could go wrong with it, so he wouldn’t use magic. His stomach and leg were still sore, but he would have to put up with it if he was going to get away.

Just as he was starting to get more worried, Emma and Red briskly walked through the door. They both had grim expressions on their faces, but Emma held his dagger in her hand.

“We only have a few minutes. What are we going to do?” Emma asked cautiously.

“I’ve been thinking about that. It would be best if I made myself scarce for awhile,” Rumplestiltskin winced at Emma’s sad look.

“You’re probably right, but where will you go? They will check your cabin,” she warned.

“I have a second cabin, much deeper in the woods. It’s rather secluded and very hard to find,” he smiled reassuringly.

“You’re not going alone,” Emma set her face with determination.

“You’re not coming with me,” Rumplestiltskin said firmly.

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” she smiled.

“I’m coming with you,” Red clarified at the imp’s confused look.

“Are you sure you want to? My conversational skills are lacking,” he smirked.

“I’ll read a book,” the wolf grinned.

“Okay, but we need to move,” the imp nodded.

They ran off towards the edge of the forest, though it was a fair distance away. It took a long time to get to a tree line that actually led deep into the woods since most of them were only meant for trails. Perhaps too long. They could hear footsteps behind them, most likely David and the dwarves. It wouldn’t matter if they found Emma, but they couldn’t see Red or Rumplestiltskin.

“I don’t want you to go, but you need to,” Emma whispered.

“It won’t be too long, love, I’ll be back,” Rumplestiltskin smiled.

Despite her strong resolve to remain composed, Emma broke down and let tears slide over her cheeks.  _ ‘He might not come back.’ _ He brought his hand up to her cheek.

“The worst part about falling in love, is that no matter what, your heart will get broken. The risk you take is whether it will get fixed or not,” Rumplestiltskin let his own tears go.

Her eyes shimmered with yet more unshed tears as she seemed to process his words. He didn’t know if she believed him yet, but she would.

“I love you. I will come back.”

He pulled her in for a kiss as the noise of footsteps got closer. Their lips touched in a passionate promise as his hands buried themselves in her hair. It lasted for only seconds before it was over.

“I love you,” he whispered desperately.

His hands slipped from her face as he slid his dagger out of her hand. Rumplestiltskin looked at Red and nodded before he gave her one last look, so very full of love. Then, they ran off into the forest. He loved her, he really did. He would come back, Emma just knew he would.

She dried her tears on her sleeve as her father showed up. David seemed not to notice her for a few seconds as he looked around.

“Emma? What are you doing here?” he asked, not noticing how red her eyes were.

“I-I heard that the dagger was missing, so I went to go check it out. When I got back to the station, he was gone. I’m really sorry, I should have stayed,” Emma apologized.

“It’s okay, he fooled us all. He must have had help,” David said venomously as he continued to look around, “I’m going to get Snow so we can check the forest, do you want to come?”

“No, I think I just need to go home,” Emma sighed.

“Okay, I’ll see you later then,” her father moved off, seemingly in a daze.

Emma could only hope he wouldn’t find Rumplestiltskin. Perhaps, though, there was a little part of her that hoped he would. Then, she wouldn’t have to worry about him leaving. She would have to keep an eye on those monkeys while he was gone, though, or it could come back to bite her.

-S. Hanson

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed the chapter, please comment.


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